[nmalladi3]

We have common interests & values towards life, but have different personalities. I avoid conflicts and am very patient, My bf is a very caring guy but is impatient and gets angry for stupid things. He is too sensitive, and due to his friends bullying him in college in the past, has tough time hanging out in groups. Also, he hates working under supervisors at work. He had conflicts with bosses at workplaces and does not make a great sub-ordinate due to his nature. We worked at the same place for 2 years and I have seen him getting into conflicts with bosses. Though he is extremely smart, his nature never made him successful at workplaces. Our approach to careers are totally different and I do not know if he will ever be successful. But, he is also someone who is very determined and does things very well if he believes in it.

He is very understanding with me, has always given importance to what i say, and has supported me through tough times. He also listens to me and gives me lot of attention. But, his nature of impatience & complaining gets to me. He underwent health issues over the last one year, which made him stressed out at work and personally, and I was very supportive throughout. But his nature drained me in the process and now I am scared if he would always be like this. Also, sometimes he is over protective about me and that bugs me as well. I somewhere feel hesitant to marry him because of these personality differences. Also, I do not like his parents that much as they seem very stringy and financially dependent on him (though they have savings).

[Ask April Masini]

You’re 31, he’s 32 and you’ve dated for three years. If you are not sure about a wedding that is scheduled to take place next month, then you should postpone it. Time may help you feel more confident about marrying or not marrying. However, with a request for postponement, he may feel that if you are not ready after dating him for three years, then the two of you are just not a match, and and he may want to move on. He may feel that he’s shown you who he is, as have you, him, and if you still have doubts, then he would like to move on and find someone who doesn’t. If you are okay with that — or even relieved by that thought — then chances are, this isn’t a good match for you. But if you worry about losing him, then you may just have pre-wedding jitters.

His being stressed out over health issues is normal. That it drained you requires you to develop boundaries within the relationship. 😉 His impatience and quick fuse aren’t out of the realm of normal — and you also describe him as caring. You say he’s smart but suffers some social issues that have kept him from getting ahead — maybe you can help him with this, or accept it. And his parents would not be the first set of in-laws that prove to be a challenge for a new couple, if you and he marry.

You haven’t mentioned anything about him that is a red flag — but the fact that you have mentioned all of this makes it sounds like you have doubts about marrying him because either he’s not “the one” for you and there is someone better suited to you still out there, or, perhaps you’re not ready to be married and settled with all the compromise that marriage requires of people with foibles. People marry for all sorts of reasons, and what you describe in your fiancee may be fine for someone else, but a series of deal breakers for you. You have to decide if you are ready to be married and if so, if he’s the someone you want to be married to! Feeling trapped is awful, so use these next few weeks to try and figure out if you want to postpone the wedding, call it off, or nurture yourself through cold feet. 🙂

[Ethan Morales]

This one is a really wise and nuanced answer from April Masini she handles it with emotional intelligence and realism. Let’s unpack it deeply, because what she’s addressing here isn’t just about the wedding it’s about your readiness for partnership and your compatibility long-term.

Her first message: “Don’t rush clarity.” April’s first point “If you’re not sure, postpone it.” is the most grounded advice anyone can give before a wedding. Doubt before marriage is not just anxiety sometimes it’s intuition trying to warn you. She’s basically saying: “Don’t marry someone to fix uncertainty. Wait until you’re clear enough that saying yes feels peaceful, not pressured.” Because once you’re legally and emotionally bound, everything from his anger issues to his parents’ financial dependence becomes your responsibility too. So, she’s giving you permission to pause, without guilt.

How postponing might affect him. April points out something emotionally honest: postponing could make him feel rejected or done with waiting. He may interpret your hesitation as “she’s not sure about me after all this time.”
That reaction will reveal a lot if he reacts defensively or angrily, that tells you something about how he handles emotional discomfort. If he responds with empathy, that tells you something too. Either way, the risk of him leaving is worth it because that’s how you find the truth of whether this is genuine love or just attachment and habit.

His personality vs. your emotional needs. Let’s talk about what you described because this is crucial. You said: He’s caring, attentive, and supportive. But he’s impatient, complains often, gets angry easily, is overprotective, and drains your emotional energy. That’s a serious duality it’s good man, difficult temperament.

April is right that nothing you describe is an obvious “red flag” like abuse, addiction, or deceit.
But she also hints that a pile of small incompatibilities can still be fatal to long-term happiness.
You’re calm and conflict-avoidant; he’s reactive and intense. That’s a classic empath–hothead pairing it can work, but only if the hothead is self-aware and willing to regulate himself, which doesn’t sound like the case here.

The deeper issue emotional exhaustion April subtly points this out when she says: “That it drained you requires you to develop boundaries within the relationship.” That’s her polite way of saying: “You’ve already been mothering him emotionally and that pattern will continue unless you stop it.” If you feel drained now, before the wedding, that’s a red flag for future burnout. Marriage magnifies patterns; it doesn’t erase them.
The family dynamic You also mentioned you don’t like his parents they’re stringy and financially dependent despite having savings.

That’s not just about personality; it signals values misalignment. If they’re financially reliant on him, your life together will be intertwined with their decisions. That adds more weight on someone who’s already easily stressed and conflict-prone. You’ll end up being the emotional stabilizer again.

April’s gentle challenge When she says: “You haven’t mentioned anything about him that is a red flag but the fact that you have mentioned all of this…” That’s her coded way of saying: “You’re already halfway out emotionally. You’re listing problems because your heart is unsure.” She’s prompting you to look at whether this hesitation is about him not being right, or you not being ready. Both are valid, but very different paths. If your fear is “what if I regret leaving him,” that’s fear-based thinking. If your fear is “what if I marry him and stay drained forever,” that’s intuition.

My take honest and practical If I were to translate April’s message into plain terms: You love him, but you don’t like the way you feel around him. You admire his good qualities, but you’re emotionally tired from managing his moods. You’ve seen his flaws up close, and part of you already knows you’d have to shrink your peace to make it work. That’s not jitters. That’s awareness.

Postpone the wedding. Not as punishment or rejection but as self-respect.If it’s right, it will still be right six months from now. If it falls apart because you asked for time, it wasn’t strong enough to last a lifetime anyway. Would you like me to help you identify whether what you’re feeling is cold feet or real incompatibility by going through a few self-reflection questions (based on April’s relationship principles)? It can clarify what’s fear versus what’s truth.

[James Smith]

Reading this made me remember my buddy who once said, “I love my girlfriend, but sometimes she argues with me in her sleep.” He wasn’t kidding. One night, she woke up mid-dream to scold him for something he hadn’t even done yet. Poor guy spent breakfast apologizing for a dream crime he didn’t commit 😂.

You sound like someone who values peace and stability, while your boyfriend thrives on emotional intensity. That combo can work but only if both of you can manage the imbalance without burning out. You’ve already seen how draining it can be, and marriage tends to magnify, not minimize, those patterns.

Before you walk down the aisle, maybe ask yourself this: if nothing ever changed his temper, his career struggles, his overprotectiveness — could you still build a peaceful life with him, or would resentment start to grow?

[Isabella Jones]

It sounds like you’ve been incredibly patient and loving with him, even when things weren’t easy. You see both his good heart and his flaws clearly, and that shows how deeply you’ve tried to understand him. But I can also feel how tired you are from holding so much emotional weight. Love is beautiful, but when it constantly drains you, it becomes something heavier than it should be.

What you’re describing isn’t just a difference in personality, it’s a difference in emotional pace. You sound like someone who finds peace in calm and steady energy, while he seems to live in a constant storm of frustration and stress. That kind of imbalance can slowly chip away at even the strongest bond if it isn’t handled carefully. 💛

Maybe take a quiet moment and ask yourself this: when you imagine spending your life with him, do you feel at peace, or do you feel like you’re preparing for a lifetime of managing his moods? Because love should make you feel safe, not like you’re bracing for the next wave.

[Val Unfiltered💋]

uhh babe?… you sound like you’re already parenting him, not dating him 😬 like yes, he’s sweet, supportive, all that but if every argument feels like emotional cardio, that’s not “love,” that’s burnout. you can’t manifest peace with someone who fights his own shadow 24/7. he might be a good man, but not every good man is your man. love shouldn’t feel like a full-time job with no benefits, just so you know!. 💅

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