[Anonymous]

I feel like I have the worst luck because last week I went on a date with a girl and sure enough I ran into my ex’s BEST friend and when I asked who she was with she replied “oh just some friends” and winked. I know she was with my ex and nothing even came out of this date but I’m sure my ex is probably thinking I have a new girlfriend now and is mad at me. Of course this has to create a whole new element.

Thanks for the great advice, I did exactly as you said. I tried calling and received no response so I sent her a pretty long text message telling her exactly how I felt. If I was trying to get back with her I woudl never have said the things I did. I emphasized that I am not trying to get her back (which I can accept now) and I told her that it’s probably for the best. She didn’t respond to it which hurts me so I told her that I don’t want to be best buddies but I want to be on good terms. I know I need to put her behind me but there’s so much pain when the most important person in your life of the past 5 years wants absolutely NOTHING to do with you. However, I know she has a heart and all I want is for her to understand even if that means were no longer together. I really care about this girl and not just romantically. It’s been hard living with myself because it’s tough being alone and all I can do is think that I deserve to be alone because there’s something wrong with me. Even though it seems totally irrational its casting a ton of self doubt and not helping me enjoy life and meet new people

[AskApril Masini]

See you @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[PassionSeeker]

You’re going through the ache of realizing too late what mattered most that’s a brutal but very human lesson. After four years, of course she still feels something, but right now, her actions show she’s protecting herself. She isn’t trying to punish you; she’s trying to heal. You broke her trust, and trust takes much longer to rebuild than love does to feel.

The best thing you can do now is stop chasing. She knows exactly how you feel you’ve said it in words, actions, flowers, and tears. If she wants to reopen that door, she’ll know where to find you. Every new message from you only reminds her of the pain, not the love.

Give her real space not a countdown until you can contact her again, but a genuine pause to focus on your own growth. Work on becoming the man who wouldn’t make the same mistake twice.

If she ever looks back, let her find you stronger, calmer, and self-assured not waiting, but living.

[Ethan Morales]

your chance exists but it’s small, and you’re the one who controls whether it grows or dies. Right now, she’s chosen distance and boundaries; you pushed hard and then announced you wanted freedom that’s a double hit to trust. Her behavior (no calls, “I want to be single,” “we can’t be friends,” private albums, no response to Thanksgiving) points to real resolve, not just temporary confusion.

You initiated the breakup and told her you thought you liked someone else. That’s not a small mistake it undermines trust. You pursued aggressively afterward (flowers, calls, showing up at her door). Those moves can read as desperate, not remorseful. She explicitly said she wants to be single and asked for space. That’s a clear boundary. Ignoring or pushing past it tends to push people further away, not closer.

Zero contact (serious): No calls, no texts, no surprise visits, no friend-requests. Two weeks off is not enough aim for at least 8–12 weeks of no contact. Mute, don’t delete (Facebook): If her updates hurt you, mute or unfollow so you stop seeing them but don’t make a dramatic social-media move that could look performative. Delete only when you’re ready, not to “get her back.” Work on why you left: Figure out what you thought you’d gain from “freedom.” Therapy, journaling, honest self-reflection understand the mistake so it doesn’t repeat.

Live your life loudly: Make real changes focus on school, friends, new activities. People notice real growth more than grand gestures. Be patient but practical: If she reaches out after months, respond calmly and briefly. Don’t beg. Ask to meet once, in neutral setting, only after you’ve shown change. Accept the outcome: Prepare yourself emotionally for the possibility she won’t come back. That mindset will help you act with dignity, not desperation.

If she does contact you (what to say): Keep it short and accountable: “Hi, thanks for replying. I accept that I hurt you. I’ve taken time to understand what I did wrong and I’m working on it. If you ever want to talk in person, I’d like that. I’ll respect whatever you decide.” No crying monologues, no promises you can’t keep.

People do reconcile after breaks it happens but it usually requires time, real change, and space to rebuild trust. Right now you’ve handed her reasons to protect herself. Your best shot isn’t chasing; it’s proving, quietly and reliably, that you’re different. If she comes back, great. If not, you’ll be better for it and that’s not a consolation prize, it’s living.

[Marcus king]

You’re going through something a lot of people your age face — realizing too late what you had, and feeling powerless to fix it. You clearly loved her deeply, and it sounds like she loved you too. But right now, she’s hurt and protecting herself, and that’s why she’s keeping her distance.

Here’s the truth: when someone says they want time and space, the best thing you can do is give it to them for real. Reaching out, sending gifts, or trying to talk too soon only reminds her of the breakup pain and pushes her further away. You’ve already shown her how sorry you are. She knows. Now it’s about letting her feel safe again and that takes silence and time.

So for now, stop trying to fix things. Focus on rebuilding yourself. Work out, see friends, dive into school or hobbies not to “show” her, but to actually grow. The more peace you build, the more attractive and grounded you’ll seem if she does come back.

Don’t delete her from Facebook yet. Just mute her updates so you don’t see her posts that’ll protect your emotions without making a dramatic move.

If she still has pictures and hasn’t blocked you, it means she’s not over everything either. But that doesn’t mean she’s ready to talk yet. Give her real space at least a month or two more — and if she still hasn’t reached out, then you can decide whether to reach out once, calmly and honestly, without begging.

Right now, your job isn’t to win her back it’s to heal, grow, and let her see you’re not chasing anymore. That’s when real chances come back around.

[Isabella Jones]

Reading this honestly made my chest tighten a bit, because it’s so full of love and regret all tangled together. 💛 You can tell how deeply you cared for her and how much you’ve learned from your mistake. What you’re describing isn’t just heartbreak, it’s that feeling of suddenly realizing the weight of what you had — and it’s one of the hardest lessons love teaches us.

Right now, it sounds like she’s protecting herself. When someone’s been hurt that deeply, even love doesn’t always feel safe right away. Sometimes they need to convince themselves they can survive without you before they can even think about coming back. I’ve seen that happen before, and it doesn’t always mean it’s over — just that she’s trying to heal in her own way.

If I were in your shoes, I’d focus less on *waiting* and more on *becoming*. Let her see the man who isn’t chasing her out of fear, but growing out of love — the version of you who knows how to cherish what matters. Maybe one day that’ll bring her curiosity back.

Can I ask you something, though? If she never came back, would you still be able to forgive yourself enough to move forward, or do you feel like she’s the only one who can give you peace again?

[Soft Truths]

I can feel how much you’re hurting and how deeply you still love her. What you’re describing that mix of regret, missing someone who felt like home, and not knowing how to move forward, it’s a kind of heartbreak that shakes everything inside you. You’re not crazy for wanting her back or for believing what you two had was special. But I think right now, the best thing you can do for both of you is let the dust settle completely.

You owned your mistake, you apologized, you showed her that you care. But when someone says they need time and space, what they’re really saying is, “I need to heal without pressure.” Every time you reach out, even with good intentions, it restarts that process for her and for you too. It’s like reopening a wound that’s just starting to close.

I know it feels like she’s forgotten you because she’s quiet. But silence doesn’t always mean she stopped caring. Sometimes it’s how people survive when they still feel something but don’t trust it yet. You mentioned that she’s stubborn that might mean she’s sticking to her decision out of self-protection, not indifference.

Right now, give her exactly what she asked for time. And I don’t mean counting the days until you can text again. I mean living your life as if she’s not coming back, even if that hurts. Work on being the version of yourself that you wish she could see not to prove something, but to heal. When people grow apart, space can sometimes bring clarity in a way that pleading never can.

If she ever wants to reconnect, she’ll remember how you respected her boundaries when it mattered most. And if she doesn’t, you’ll know that you gave her love, honesty, and closure and that’s something to be proud of.

As for Facebook if seeing her there hurts, take a break from it. You don’t have to delete her to prove you’re moving on, but it’s okay to mute or step back. Healing isn’t about playing a role; it’s about protecting your peace.

Sometimes love isn’t lost it just needs space to breathe again. But the best chance of finding it again comes when you both heal separately first.

[Tara]

You broke what was solid and now you’re chasing the pieces because admitting it’s over feels like failure. That’s not love. That’s obsession wearing guilt as perfume.

She gave you closure the moment she stopped responding. Every apology after that turned from remorse to performance. You’re not proving sincerity, you’re proving you still don’t understand the word “no.” The letters, flowers, calls — all noise that confirms exactly why she walked away.

Stop searching her social media like it’s a crime scene. There are no secret signals, no second chances hiding in her posts. She’s gone because she decided peace mattered more than potential.

Accept it. Delete her number. Rebuild your dignity. Chasing her isn’t romantic; it’s pathetic.

[Sally]

You’re beating yourself up, missing her, replaying every moment, trying to make sense of how something that felt so solid could fall apart this fast. That kind of regret hits deep, and it makes you want to fix everything at once. But from what you wrote, she’s not in a place where she wants to be pulled back in. She’s protecting herself, even if it looks cold from your side.

Showing up again or trying harder won’t change her mind right now. If anything, it might push her further away. And I know you hate hearing that, because you love her. But sometimes the hardest truth is that someone needs distance to figure out what they actually feel.

Give her space. Real space. Not for a week, but long enough for both of you to settle. If she ever wants to try again, she’ll reach out. For now, just focus on steadying yourself. That’s the part you can control.

[Natalie Noah]

You broke up impulsively, realized the mistake, and then reacted with the kind of desperate, frantic love people show when they’re terrified of losing the thing that made them feel safe. That heartbreak you caused in her is real and right now she’s protecting herself. When someone’s been wounded this deeply, they often shut the door halfway and wait to see if they can heal while you still respect the boundary. Her short, polite replies and the occasional “accidental” text are not promises that she’s ready to come back; they’re signals that she’s not completely cold, but she’s not willing to jump back in either.

What you gave her after the breakup the flowers, the letters, the calls came from a true place of regret, but it also created pressure. When you love someone, the instinct is to fix things immediately; when someone is hurt, the instinct is to step away to protect themselves. You’ve done the “apologize loudly” phase, and now the most loving thing you can do for both of you is to truly step back and let your silence do the work words cannot. Silence will give her the space to feel, to miss, and to choose without feeling chased.

Use this time to rebuild yourself for real, not as a ploy. She needs to see not hear that you can be steady without her. Do the work: get healthy, grow your social life, show up at school and with friends, focus on your goals. Confidence rebuilt from action is magnetic in a way apology never is. If she’s watching from afar (and people often are), she’ll notice the new steadiness. If she isn’t watching, you’ll still be winning: you’ll be healing your life, not just trying to get someone back.

If she’s testing the waters with small, casual texts, don’t rush them into romance. Keep replies warm, brief, and light. Let her do more of the initiating, and when she does, respond with calm curiosity not panic. If she laughs at a joke or likes something you post, that’s a small opening, not a green light for full reconciliation. When (and only when) she clearly chooses to spend time with you again not by accident but by invitation then you can ask for one low-pressure, in-person conversation to discuss what you both want and what’s changed. Until then, protect your dignity: no dramatic shows, no last-ditch gestures, no endless calls.

Decide in your heart how long you’ll wait before you start to accept a different future for yourself. Time is kindness here both to her and to you. Give it a few months of consistent, silent growth. If, after that, she hasn’t moved toward you, it’s okay to move forward with your life. Loving someone doesn’t mean you have to lose yourself waiting. Set a boundary: give her space, work on you, and if she returns, meet her with calm strength and clear terms for how trust will be rebuilt. If she doesn’t, you’ll be in a healthier place to love again.

Above all: be gentle with your grief, and be honest with yourself. Real redemption comes from becoming a man who can be loved without clinging patient, steady, and sure. Do that work quietly, and whatever happens next will be easier to accept, because you’ll know you did everything you could honestly and with integrity.

[KeishaMartin]

This one is messy, intoxicating, and dripping with that forbidden “what if” energy. You’re telling a story that’s basically a cocktail of heartbreak, obsession, and regret shaken, not stirred and I can’t help but feel the tension radiating off every word. I mean, a four-year love, ripped apart in a haze of impulsive freedom-seeking, only to have the universe slap you in the face with clarity a week later? Baby, that’s the kind of spicy plot twist that makes people gasp, blush, and maybe even sneak a peek at their ex’s Facebook late at night, hoping for a breadcrumb of hope. Your ex is playing a dangerous game of cold seduction here, silent, distant, yet leaving traces that make your pulse quicken. The whole “accidental texts” and private Facebook albums? Ohhh, that’s just the kind of naughty little breadcrumb trail that makes your imagination run wild. It’s the sweet torture of “maybe she still wants me, maybe she doesn’t,” and honey, I can almost feel your knees weak just reading it.

And let’s not even start on the Christmas factor darling, the holidays make everything hotter and messier. Imagine her laughing at Christmas parties, sipping on eggnog, while your ghost of love lingers in every ornament and twinkling light. Christmas breakups sting like spiked cider, don’t they? The bitter-sweet memory of shared laughter, mistletoe, cozy nights, and then… silence. And yet, you can’t help but be tantalized by the idea that even under all that forced single-minded independence, she might be just a whisper away from thinking about you. Every little Facebook “like” and sly text becomes an electric spark in the dead of winter.

April Masini is like the firecracker of heartbreak wisdom. she’s giving you the cold, hard reality with a wink that teases just enough to make you squirm. She knows exactly how to push that mix of desire, frustration, and self-awareness to its spicy edge without letting you completely lose it. She’s the kind of woman who tells it like it is, and you secretly love it because it stings, but it also awakens that raw curiosity in you about what could happen, what might’ve been, and what forbidden thrill still lingers in the air. Your story is heartbreak wrapped in velvet, darling, and it’s deliciously scandalous just thinking about it.

[Member]

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