[Anonymous]

I feel like I have the worst luck because last week I went on a date with a girl and sure enough I ran into my ex’s BEST friend and when I asked who she was with she replied “oh just some friends” and winked. I know she was with my ex and nothing even came out of this date but I’m sure my ex is probably thinking I have a new girlfriend now and is mad at me. Of course this has to create a whole new element.

Thanks for the great advice, I did exactly as you said. I tried calling and received no response so I sent her a pretty long text message telling her exactly how I felt. If I was trying to get back with her I woudl never have said the things I did. I emphasized that I am not trying to get her back (which I can accept now) and I told her that it’s probably for the best. She didn’t respond to it which hurts me so I told her that I don’t want to be best buddies but I want to be on good terms. I know I need to put her behind me but there’s so much pain when the most important person in your life of the past 5 years wants absolutely NOTHING to do with you. However, I know she has a heart and all I want is for her to understand even if that means were no longer together. I really care about this girl and not just romantically. It’s been hard living with myself because it’s tough being alone and all I can do is think that I deserve to be alone because there’s something wrong with me. Even though it seems totally irrational its casting a ton of self doubt and not helping me enjoy life and meet new people

[Ask April Masini]

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[PassionSeeker]

You’re going through the ache of realizing too late what mattered most that’s a brutal but very human lesson. After four years, of course she still feels something, but right now, her actions show she’s protecting herself. She isn’t trying to punish you; she’s trying to heal. You broke her trust, and trust takes much longer to rebuild than love does to feel.

The best thing you can do now is stop chasing. She knows exactly how you feel you’ve said it in words, actions, flowers, and tears. If she wants to reopen that door, she’ll know where to find you. Every new message from you only reminds her of the pain, not the love.

Give her real space not a countdown until you can contact her again, but a genuine pause to focus on your own growth. Work on becoming the man who wouldn’t make the same mistake twice.

If she ever looks back, let her find you stronger, calmer, and self-assured not waiting, but living.

[Ethan Morales]

your chance exists but it’s small, and you’re the one who controls whether it grows or dies. Right now, she’s chosen distance and boundaries; you pushed hard and then announced you wanted freedom that’s a double hit to trust. Her behavior (no calls, “I want to be single,” “we can’t be friends,” private albums, no response to Thanksgiving) points to real resolve, not just temporary confusion.

You initiated the breakup and told her you thought you liked someone else. That’s not a small mistake it undermines trust. You pursued aggressively afterward (flowers, calls, showing up at her door). Those moves can read as desperate, not remorseful. She explicitly said she wants to be single and asked for space. That’s a clear boundary. Ignoring or pushing past it tends to push people further away, not closer.

Zero contact (serious): No calls, no texts, no surprise visits, no friend-requests. Two weeks off is not enough aim for at least 8–12 weeks of no contact. Mute, don’t delete (Facebook): If her updates hurt you, mute or unfollow so you stop seeing them but don’t make a dramatic social-media move that could look performative. Delete only when you’re ready, not to “get her back.” Work on why you left: Figure out what you thought you’d gain from “freedom.” Therapy, journaling, honest self-reflection understand the mistake so it doesn’t repeat.

Live your life loudly: Make real changes focus on school, friends, new activities. People notice real growth more than grand gestures. Be patient but practical: If she reaches out after months, respond calmly and briefly. Don’t beg. Ask to meet once, in neutral setting, only after you’ve shown change. Accept the outcome: Prepare yourself emotionally for the possibility she won’t come back. That mindset will help you act with dignity, not desperation.

If she does contact you (what to say): Keep it short and accountable: “Hi, thanks for replying. I accept that I hurt you. I’ve taken time to understand what I did wrong and I’m working on it. If you ever want to talk in person, I’d like that. I’ll respect whatever you decide.” No crying monologues, no promises you can’t keep.

People do reconcile after breaks it happens but it usually requires time, real change, and space to rebuild trust. Right now you’ve handed her reasons to protect herself. Your best shot isn’t chasing; it’s proving, quietly and reliably, that you’re different. If she comes back, great. If not, you’ll be better for it and that’s not a consolation prize, it’s living.

[Marcus king]

You’re going through something a lot of people your age face — realizing too late what you had, and feeling powerless to fix it. You clearly loved her deeply, and it sounds like she loved you too. But right now, she’s hurt and protecting herself, and that’s why she’s keeping her distance.

Here’s the truth: when someone says they want time and space, the best thing you can do is give it to them for real. Reaching out, sending gifts, or trying to talk too soon only reminds her of the breakup pain and pushes her further away. You’ve already shown her how sorry you are. She knows. Now it’s about letting her feel safe again and that takes silence and time.

So for now, stop trying to fix things. Focus on rebuilding yourself. Work out, see friends, dive into school or hobbies not to “show” her, but to actually grow. The more peace you build, the more attractive and grounded you’ll seem if she does come back.

Don’t delete her from Facebook yet. Just mute her updates so you don’t see her posts that’ll protect your emotions without making a dramatic move.

If she still has pictures and hasn’t blocked you, it means she’s not over everything either. But that doesn’t mean she’s ready to talk yet. Give her real space at least a month or two more — and if she still hasn’t reached out, then you can decide whether to reach out once, calmly and honestly, without begging.

Right now, your job isn’t to win her back it’s to heal, grow, and let her see you’re not chasing anymore. That’s when real chances come back around.

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