[Ask April Masini]

[quote]1. Do you think it’ll work out? I love him, he appears to be crazy about me too. [/quote]

Probably not. 😳 Here’s why: He’s got another woman on the side. He lives with his father. He has debts. You’re insecure and want to get married more than you want to remarry someone who’s better suited to you and your kids. Being crazy about each other isn’t enough — especially when you’re a single mother.

[quote]2. Since the proposal, I have surprised myself by being MORE insecure. i’m counting his texts?! I can’t seem to relax. I have no reason – it only happened 4 days ago and he has been adorable ever since! But i seem to have gone really clingey and needy. I’m frcing myself to back off a little – stay busy, throw myself into work & friends – because otherwise I’d be calling him every 5 minutes! WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED TO ME?![/quote]

This has happened to you because (as you describe yourself) you’re insecure, clingy and needy. 😳 You haven’t done the work you need to do on yourself, post-divorce. And you aren’t really giving yourself a chance to see what else is out there. You may marry him, but that’s the not the brass ring. Having a happy and healthy relationship is. 😉

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[MysteryWoman]

Ouch. 🙁

[Ask April Masini]

Sorry. I know you didn’t come here for me to pull my punches. Let me know how things go. 😉

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[MysteryWoman]

Oh, I just don’t know anymore. 🙁 He seems so genuine. On his own volition this week, he visited my parents and asked my Dad’s permission! I know why you’re sceptical but this all seems like a lot of effort for a man who’s dating others. WHY WOULD HE BOTHER?!

Oh I’m so confused! This seems like such a random time to finish this relationship!!

[Ask April Masini]

I’m not saying he doesn’t want you — but he doesn’t want [i]just[/i] you. 😉 And it’s only “a random time” if you don’t see the patterns. You wrote me after he proposed because you weren’t feeling certain about things. Your reaction to the proposal, below, doesn’t instill confidence. 😕

[quote]Since the proposal, I have surprised myself by being MORE insecure. i’m counting his texts?! I can’t seem to relax. I have no reason – it only happened 4 days ago and he has been adorable ever since! But i seem to have gone really clingey and needy. [/quote]

You’re going to do what you need to do in this relationship to figure things out. Just don’t put blindfolds on your eyes or ignore your instincts.

[PassionSeeker]

I can see why you’re feeling torn. You’ve been through so much with this man the lies, the breakups, the makeups and now, after the proposal, your heart doesn’t quite know whether to feel safe or scared. What you’re experiencing isn’t strange at all. When a relationship has been shaky, even something joyful like an engagement can trigger insecurity.

You’re not suddenly “clingy” you’re reacting to uncertainty that was never fully resolved. The engagement might feel like proof of love, but trust doesn’t rebuild with a ring; it rebuilds with time, honesty, and consistency.

Try to pause and breathe before reacting to the anxious thoughts. Stay busy with your kids, your work, and your own interests things that remind you you’re whole on your own. Let him show through actions that he’s changed, but don’t rush yourself into believing it overnight.

Love him if you choose, but keep both eyes open. The right relationship should bring peace, not constant reassurance-seeking.

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