[seajay]

Okay, this is kind of a long story so settle in. I’ll try not to make it boring…

I met this guy, we’ll call him T, about a month ago and we’re already really good friends. One of my best actually. He is one of those touchy people that always touches your arm your leg or your shoulder when they get into a conversation, which is one of the reasons I’m confused.

Now, the very first day we met we really hit it off. We met at a Bible discussion group and the whole group was going to meet at Whataburger afterwards. I ended up giving him a ride over there. We were talking the whole way over there (the whole 5 minutes haha). When we did get in the parking lot we just sat in the car for like 15 minutes just talking. I have never been on a date in my life nor have I had a boyfriend, which is pitiful for a 22 yr old, I know. When I told him this he was shocked. He kept going on and on about how it was so unbelievable because I was so beautiful, etc etc. He wasn’t being weird about it or anything. It was flattering and gentlemanly.

Anyway, a few days later me, T and a bunch of friends all went to see “this means war” (a romantic comedy, as you know). Now, T is touchy anyway, but DANG! During the movie he hardly let go of my arm! Finally he linked his arm with mine and left it there till the end of the movie (30 mins or so). I didn’t know what to do. Hold his hand? Squeeze his arm? Just let is sit there? What? I mean, we were all there just as friends…..right? So I just held his arm with my arm tightly 🙂 And we’ve had several 15 minute car talks since, never mentioning anything of it.

Later the next week we went to another discussion group. Everybody broke up into smaller groups and me and T were not in the same group. His was across the lecture room from me. He kept looking over at me. Whenever I saw him I would smile at him. He’d smile back—not a big smile. A genuine smile but just kind of a small smile. Even other friends have questined our relationship…not critically. One girl leaned over and whispered “I think he likes you” in my ear and another girl said “sooooo…..you and T……are you like……friends?”

Since we are good friends, and I try to tell all my friends how much I appreciate them, I’ve sent him random messages telling him how I think he’s awesome and I love him to death etc. Just friendly messages, not really romantic. He would always respond with the same kind of messages like “seriously, I love you, girl”. Now, whenever we’re talking he always ends up kind of holding on to my elbow or putting his hand on my arm and leaving it there. One time when I was hanging out with T and a couple other friends I was laying on the couch when he came and sat by my head and just played with my hair for 15 minutes.

My conundrum: he has told people that he isn’t looking for/ doesn’t want a girlfriend because he’s leaving next semester.

What’s going on? Is he into me or is he just being friendly? As I’ve said, I have limited relationship experience but to me it seems like he likes me. I don’t want to make our friendship relationship awkward by bringing it up/acting on it if there’s nothing there besides friendship. Then again, I don’t want to pass up an opportunity if there is something more.

Your insight will be greatly appreciated!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

He’s said[i] he doesn’t want a relationship[/i]. 😳 And he hasn’t asked you out on a date. Plus he’s moving out of the area soon. 😕 That’s your evidence that this is just him being friendly, or wanting a short term friends with benefits relationship. My advice is to move on. Because you don’t have a lot of dating experience, you may mistake this for more than it is, and invest too much of your emotions.

I hope that helps. If you want more information on dating, you should read Think & Date Like A Man, a book I wrote for women. You can buy it on this link as an e-book and start reading tonight: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url]. It will help you a lot.

Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[seajay]

Will do! Thanks for the advice! I’ll keep you up to speed if anything interesting happens 🙂

Well, we did have an hour long conversation over the phone at 3am this morning. He asked me to stay on the line and fall asleep over the phone together. hahaha!

Anyway, thanks for the advice!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re welcome! 😀

[seajay]

Hey, April!

There have been a few little developments in my saga 🙂

Me and this guy have still been hanging out all the time (just about everyday). Anyway, we went to a group event at one of our friends’ house. Me and this guy were hanging out in one room watching a tv show while everyone else was in the other room talking. Well, me and the guy practically had an epic cuddling session. Haha! He was laying on me, I was laying on him, we had our legs all twisted together, our arms twisted together. It was fun! Nothing more than cuddling. He would try and tickle me by trying to kind of nibble (sort of) my neck. Well, he would try and get his face in at my neck to tickle me somehow. When he was laying on me he would turn his head to look at me and our faces were just inches apart. He even commented on how close our faces were but didn’t move farther away. When I would lay on him, with my head in his lap, he would play with my hair. *sigh* It was just so cute! Haha! We always complain to each other how we don’t get to see each other enough.

Then the next day, I sent him a text jokingly suggesting that we should just get married. That way we would be together all the time, we could go on mission trips together etc, etc. He said that sounded amazing and we went on and on talking about what all we could do if we were married. I know it was all in jest but it was still cute and interesting the way he responded.

And I don’t remember if I told you, but all of our friends keep asking if we’re dating.

So yeah. I know you’ve said that, no, he doesn’t want a girlfriend, but I’d like some more insight. Haha!
Thanks!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

The advice I gave you in March still holds. Did you read the book, I suggested? It’s going to help you understand how to get into a relationship if that’s what you want. 😉

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