[Anonymous]

I have been going out with my boyfriend for two months and we’re both at universities, however he’s at one miles away from mine. We still see each other every couple of weeks and text a lot. Recently I have seen photos of him with another girl sat on his lap. He has his arm around her and they are linking hands. In some of the photos they are kissing each other (only on the cheek). There are lots of photos like this, in different situations and social nights out, but always with the same girl.
I’m not generally possessive because possessiveness in a long distance relationship would just be inconcievable and impossible to work with, but I am starting to wonder if he does like her. Even his friends, who I’m now friends with, admit it’s a bit wierd.
When he’s home from uni he does talk about her a lot, but then he tells me that he misses me and he loves me. Can you help?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Yes, he does like this other girl, and he’s probably dating her, or close to dating her if he isn’t already. I’m sorry because I know that will hurt your feelings, but it’s better to know the truth and make adjustments in your own life, than not know and live in a fantasy that will eventually crash and burn.

The reality is that you’ve only been with your boyfriend for 2 months, which isn’t very long in the scheme of things. In addition, the long distance component makes it difficult to maintain a relationship. And then to top it off, you’re both in college which is when dating and meeting new people is easily facilitated by university lifestyles.

So, long story short, this probably won’t last, and you’d be wise to understand that, and appreciate that you really haven’t wasted much time with him. It’s not really his fault, as much as your relationship is a casualty of long distance and college life. These things happen. It isn’t you. And….it isn’t him.

I hope you’ll get back in the game and start looking around for your next boyfriend — this time, on campus! 🙂

[Alison Feby]

The signs are pretty clear that he’s not fully committed, and long distance plus college life makes this even harder to sustain. It’s better to see the situation for what it is now than stay attached to something that isn’t really a relationship.

[Lidya]

Two months is a very short time, accept this small loss and enjoy your university life. A boy who makes someone else sit on his lap in two months is not worthy of a long-term commitment.
April, I really like that you don’t sugarcoat it, your advice is direct and clear.
AskApril is right here. Consider that this relationship is over. It’s not your fault. ” Now, don’t waste your time. Instead, find a new boyfriend at the university.

[Member]

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