[tmr20]

I have been “seeing” a guy for the past few months but I recently found out that his ex-girlfriend from high school slept in his bed with him (he doesn’t know that I know this piece of information). I don’t not know if they hooked up or not but I wouldn’t approve of any girl sleeping in his bed except me, even if they were just friends. We have known each other for five years and just started sleeping together four months ago. Does he think we’re dating? Or does he think we are just friends with benefits?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Okay — before I answer, please let me know the following:

How long have you been dating? How long after dating him did you start having sex with him?

Did he sleep in a bed with his ex-girlfriend while the two of you were dating? How do you know this piece of information?

How old are all of you?

[tmr20]

We have been dating for four months. We began the relationship after we had sex for the first time.

His ex-girlfriend slept in his bed just a week ago. I only found out because his best friend and house mate told me.

We are both 20.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

So, when you say you’ve been “seeing” him…. have you ever been on an actual date with him?

Or are you just sleeping together and hanging out?

And when you say that you didn’t start dating until after you had sex with him…. what does that mean? How did you meet him, and how did you decide to sleep with him for the first time?

Thanks — I promise that I’ll give you advice — I just want to clarify what’s going on. 😀

[tmr20]

We’ve been on actual dates before but they are very rare.

Our relationship involves mostly sleeping together and hanging out.

We met in high school and became good friends. I always liked him from the very first day I met him and I suspected he liked me too. We found out in the summer that we had the same feelings for each other.

I wanted to sleep with him before but was too afraid to initiate anything. Once I did he went for it. It was almost like he needed my approval before he tried anything because he was too scared or didn’t want to start something I didn’t want.

This situation is so hard to describe 😕

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Thanks for the information. 🙂

Well, the answer to your question, Does he think we’re dating?, is no. He doesn’t. He thinks you’re a friend with benefits, and that really opens up the door for him to sleep with other women, too. 😳 I know this is upsetting to you, but when you make it so easy for guys to sleep with you, they don’t treat you like you’re special — because you don’t treat yourself like you’re special! 🙁 When a guy cares about you, he’ll take you out on dates and want you all to himself. He’ll make you feel like you’re his. This guy isn’t like that — and never was. 😕

My advice is that you read Think & Date LIke A Man, [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url], so you have a better idea of how to get a guy to want you — so much that you can keep him!

I hope that helps. Let me know if you have any other questions, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[tmr20]

Thank you for your advice April!

I will definitely talk with him and decide if I should stop wasting my time on someone who doesn’t have the same feelings for me as I do for them. 🙂

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I don’t advise having “the talk”. 😕 I never do. Guys hate having the “the talk” and, besides, you don’t need to. 😉 You know all you need to know without talking to him. Whatever he says isn’t going to change the fact that he’s slept with his ex-girlfriend recently. Nonetheless, I hope everything works out for you. 🙂

Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

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