[Sami]

Hi,

I really think you have a great site where you share your awesome experience for the benefit of others.

I tried to find similar topics in your huge forum that can provide me with the information i need but i guess my inquiry is unique. This might be due to the cultural difference.
We come from a conservative culture where relationships are more complicated than other more open cultures.
I hope this won’t be an obstacle that keeps you from providing your advise. I believe human relations are the same worldwide taking into consecration it is more complex for us.
My question is concerning a married female coworker that i believe is attracted to me but afraid to go further due to the rejection of our community for such relations. I’m also a married man but I think that a new relation will add some excitement to my life despite the danger it involves. Personally, I’m not interested in a sexual relation but rather an emotional one and I think it would be the same for her. This would make the situation more realistic and reachable.
I got the impression that she likes me because of her glances when we first met, being overly friendly immediately, calls and visits for no reason.
Afterwords i started approaching her slowly and here started the challenge. She never rejected me but of course she was always so careful. She never gave me the feeling that she wants a relation or that she doesn’t. Not closing the door gave me the impression that is interested but afraid. I always tell her that i want that we are friends and she accepts that but still she is so closed.
We chat a lot but the strange thing is that she never initiates a conversation or ask any questions. I always have to do this which is frustrating. I even talked to her about it which didn’t help. She is always giving the excuse of being busy which can’t be true all the time. She is not willing to proceed or stop and I’m in this loop for quite some time.
Any advice how to make her trust me and share her feelings with me.

Thank you.
Sami

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I don’t think that you have mutually compatible goals. You’re looking for an extra-marital emotional relationship, and she isn’t. I know you think she’s given you cues with her glances and kind behavior, but she’s also shut you down, and I think that’s what you have to go by. She isn’t really interested in the same thing you are.

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[Sami]

thank you for your reply. I apretiate it.
Just to add few things to further clarify things, all our communication is on friendly basis. I didn’t communicate any interest in any further relationship such as an emotional one. My argument with her was about why is she being closed while she accepts me as a friend. Binning friends should envolve a certain level of openness or friendship will fail. During our argument she could have simply said that she has no time for friendship and end the whole situation. Instead she gives a very week reason for not being able to communicate more. If she is not interested in a way or the other, why isn’t she closing the door and why is she daily appearing online without missing a single day.
Being not interested she would mention something that would at least give me an indirect indication to stop and leave.
For those reasons I thought the only reason for such behavior is that she is interested in more than friendship but might be afraid or confused. So, I dont see that ahe turned me down as keeping the commutation is opening the door for improvement if I approach the correct way.

Thank you for your advice.
Sami

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re welcome! 😀

[Member]

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