[Anonymous]

My ex and I have been broken up for over two months. We were back together for two weeks before that. The whole of our relationship consists of being together for over 2 year breaking up, but still pretty much being together without the title, getting back together and him dumping me two weeks into. Two weeks after that I find out he’s been talking to someone else. i call and he doesn’t answer until the next day. I don’t answer it and he calls back two weeks after that. well we started being friendly again, and he calls me personally to tell me that he’s asked this girl out and doesn’t want me to find out from someone else. Well she dumps him after a week. Well he calls to tell me that too. We start talking more and we end up hooking up a couple of times. The first time we hadn’t slept with anyone since each other and it was phenomenal we both went away happy and were talking til the late hours of the night. the next night there was a definate difference. No spark and no passion, and we were both tired. He called me on my way home because he knew I wasn’t happy. I explained to him how i still felt and we got into this discussion about why we broke up. He said he realized there were things he wanted to do with his life before he got married and settled down. Well he never told me anything like that other than to become financially stable. So i don’t hear from him for a week and i see him at the movies. I try to be friendly but he can’t get away fast enough. So I don’t mess with it even though I’m sad. I don’t call or text or anything, and out of the blue I get a text 2 and 1/2 weeks later. We chat and then he calls and we talk for an hour 1/2 about basically nothing just bsing. the next night however he drunk calls me at 1 30 in the morning. We talk for another hour and a half. He asks me about my dating life, about my family, if i’ve been having sex with anyone else, and even if anyone had asked me to be their valentine. I tell him the truth, which is no to all. but he even asks what would I do if he says I’d sexual pleasure if I came over to his house right then. i didn’t say anything so I don’t know if he was serious. Well I remind him my birthday is coming up but I don’t know if anyone will come with me to go get some drinks. he volunteers to. but i don’t know if he’s serious. I haven’t heard from him since then and it’s been a week. i love him and want him back but i don’t know if he’s just being a nosy friend or if he’s regretting his decision to dump so he can go out with this other girl. I don’t want to make the wrong decision and make it worse. He seems happy with this girl who’s using him but I know it won’t last that long. Can you please help clear up my never ending confusion.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

What is it you actually love about a guy who dates you, dumps you, dates you, dumps you — over and over and over? Or, wait — let me rephrase that: What is it you love about a guy who offers to take you up on an invitation to go out for drinks with you on your birthday, but in whom you have no faith to know he’ll actually show up?? 😯

This guy is not good for you, and you should stop wasting your time with him. He’s the kind of guy who will never do one horrific thing to you that makes you realize he’s a bad man…..however, he will waste your time over the course of several years, as he already has, and this is time you could be using to find a man who respects you, loves and adores you, and wants to be your husband and your rock to count on in good times and bad.

The problem, however isn’t this guy. It’s you. 😮 You need to realize that you are important enough to deserve a great man who wants a future with you. Until you realize that, you’re going to keep wasting your time on someone who may make you fee good in the short term, but is a bad investment in the long term.

Get my book, Think & Date Like A Man, by downloading it here: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url]. It’s $15.95 — and not a free post like this one, but it will give you A LOT more advice than I can help you with right here. In fact, after you read it, let me know what you think and what worked for you or not — and what questions you still have about your future in a relationship with a man.

I hope that helps!

[Member]

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