[Anonymous]

Sorry for the long message.

I met my ex-girlfriend at the campus bar in march,she gave me her number i texted her after we left just to say she was amazing that night,she same the same, since that we went on dates ,i even met her family on the 4th date i guess,during Easter,then and started going out in April although i was going home in the begging of May, she knew it about that and still wanted to keep together, we were just perfect together, she took care of me when i was really sick one night and when I was leaving she paid 100 bucks for a bus ticket only to come with me to the airport to say goodbye,when i left she was a mess crying and all that.One of her last text says `nowhat i never realized i could be truelly happy again ,you made me realize that life aint only about school and who you are but about being happy specially in love`. I told her i would try to find a way to see her in July, but July seen to far away so we tried to figure out every way possible to see each other earlier,she even tried to sell her stuff to get the money. Looked like we were so in love, we used to text each other everyday and everyday we chat online with webcam.Me and her were never the emotional,attached type, we were being like that at the beginning , mostly her i was being more because i didnt want her to think i was getting bored of her, because she asked me that before.She complained me some times that she was pissed because every party that she went guys hitting on her, she said she has a boyfriend they always ask where is your boyfriend,and she had to say that i was away.So they all started going on about i would be cheating on her and everything else.Till one day one of her friends that I`d believe she doesnt like,my ex told me her friends hates when she dates because my ex never has time for her, and most of their friend has a boyfriend or a girlfriend. So she started talking to her about `what if we break up ?’ ,by then we had the ticket already and she got the visa ( shes from canada im from portugal but i was gonna spend the summer in brazil),and my dad bought her the ticket, and her friend kept asking hows she is going to feel if we break up after my parents bought her a plane ticket, she said she never thought about that, and said that she is taking the change of we breaking up, before that talk with her friend she kept saying she would never break up with me and if i break up with her she would be a mess. And we didnt date for too long but seen like we did because we had plans for when she was here,trips, for match Halloween costumes, spend xmas with her and going to domican next summer.
Since that day i noticed she was getting less emotional,’sook’.i thought myself that if I stopped too the next step would be the break up so i kept being all ‘lovedove’ type,i asked a few times that she was different,she got upset when i asked her that, one night she told me to stop being all emotional and stuff because that was annoying her,so no problem i stopped,
One day I didnt text her so she text me around 10pm, asking why i didnt text her, i lied saying I did but she didnt reply so i thought she didnt want to talk,so she drops that has a bad news but she would tell me the next tomorrow, because she was going out with her one of her girl friends, she only said was something about her health( shes diabetic),then she said she couldnt come here anymore because she got her exams back and her doctor said she her sugar levels were getting really bad ( her heart stopped last year because of that ),I was really depressed and pissed because she wasnt coming and she was getting drunk ( both of us used to go out to the bars a lot, we were slowly going out to the bars ), so I talked with one of my friends ( a girl) ,that my ex doesn’t like,she told me a bunch of things saying canadians girl are like that, she was probably with me because the plane ticket, that she told me i shouldnt date her at the begging, in other words i heard everything i didnt want to, so i texted my ex in the morning saying ‘ i need to talk with you’ , she replied at 6am saying about what,i was less upset when i woke up and i said was only to ask if she cant come for sure, she was relived because she thought i was going to break up with her,and said now we gonna have to wait till im back ( september), so she fell asleep and we talked again later on that day,i apologized and said i wasnt ok because of the bad news and because i ddnt have a nice chat with one of my friends last night, she kept pushing it and i ended up telling her what we talked about, So she decided to break up with me saying maybe my friend was right ( she was mad at me atm),saying distance wasnt working ( i agreed at the point because im hating being away from her, it kills me ),and that i shouldnt have talked with my friend, i tried to change her mind , i didnt insist tho so i accepted the break up,i asked her if she could promise not to date anyone untill i come back she agreed and said as long as i promise the same, not a problem,during the break up i told her i might need some time from her,she didnt want that she was gonna be sad if i stopped talking to her during the summer,she said we can still talk.
I was doing fine for the next few days, i was going to the bars drinking, saying i was happy, she even asked me the first night i went out if i found someone else and that she was just checking. One day i was out with my best friend he saying a bunch stuff of my girlfriend (ex), that pissed me off,and when i got home one of my friends there sent me a message saying he saw my ex ( he didnt know we broke up ) taking a taxi with some guy ( it was actually one of her best friends , my friend didnt know who he was ), so i fell apart cried and sent her a massive text saying what i was feeling that i want her back and everything. She just told me that we have a deal i shouldnt worry about it , and also asked if i kissed another girl and why i was happy, i told her why. then we were ok.
I talked with one of her friends ,but not close friends to her, the girl told me i should stop worrying about it and act like i dont care about her and she would want me back. so i did that, Although 3 girls wrote on my wall on facebook, the first one was my friend that she doesnt like(the one who talked to me when she told me she wasnt coming here), The second one another girl that she really hates A LOT ( i only talked to her because she was also in a long distance relationship and i asked her how she was dealing with that ),the 3rd one was just a friend of us, she was being nice saying if I ever go to her province she would ‘hook me up’ and i could stay at her house and only being nice i told her the same.
My ex then start talking to me on msn,she was actually trying to talk with me when i seen like i didnt care. I told her i was excited for a holiday and my friends were coming home, she tells me then ‘ maybe you will find a new love’, i asked if she wants that, she told me NO,she would be pissed and if i kiss another girl or whatever i better tell her. I told her that i wouldnt do that i dont wanna another girl ,just her, and i would wait.
So she started going on about those 3 girls, the 1st saying she was the major reason we broke up, and that i should be mad at her and stopped talking to her for what she did,and if we ever date again she doesnt want me talking with her .The 2nd that she is a major slut,i told her why i talked with her, she thought i was hitting on her and that she will hit on me when im back, the 3rd asking why the hell im saying she can stay at my house.
She pretty much flipped on me,saying if i keep up she will not even look at me when im back, that im not worth dating, i got mad about how stupid she was being, then she signed off, i tried to call her several times trying to explain her what happen, she didnt pick up the phone so i gave up, couple hours later she texted me saying she still loves me she’s just mad and dont wanna talk right now.
She texted me agian the next day saying fighting is worthless, we have a deal to work things out in the fall and i should stopped doing what i was doing, i just agreed.
She was always the one who texted first, so next week,( she has my stuff, and my guitar is my ‘excuse’ to see her when im go back), so i asked her if she still have it ,i said i didnt remember so she tells me she was going to leave my guitar with my roommate in the fall. Something hit me and i told her we should stop talking because i didnt want to have my hopes up in the fall,she got mad at me, the next morning i apologize and said that i was sorry but i needed this time, she wasstill mad and said ‘fine goodbye but dont expect not talking to me during the whole summer then thinking that you will come back right where we left’. I told her then that ok i take back what i said she told me once again to stop worrying about it.
So far we were fine, but after that she stopped calling me ‘babe and love’ ,she still called me that after we break up,one day she told me she was sick and she was going to the hospital, i was worried about her then later she told me they said she might have get mono or some virus, I didn’t know what mono is so she told me that you could get that by kissing someone who has it or drinking some people’s drink, i told her i didnt care if she kissed someone i just wanted to see her better, she then tells me she didnt kiss anyone since i left, i told her neither did i, she mentioned the deal, i said i was worried cuz i still care about her after all and she said she really hopes i still care about her.
Then we were fine we both went out a few times, she asked me if i kissed any other girl ,i asked if she kissed any other guy, we both didnt,one night i told her i think i miss her,she said her friend miss me and i said i no u dont miss me, she said she does , i told her no you dont, she said she really miss me and told me to come back . Then on the day she supposed to come here ( June 11th), we were texting each other, she randomly says ‘lala i should been on a plane right now’ i asked her to not mention that because I didnt wanna think about that, she said ok and we stopped texting and at 2am she texts me saying’ so you are moving on?’ i said no i still love her,and asked why she only says ‘just wondering’ i asked her the same thing but her phone died so she only replies the next morning asking why im asking that i told her she asked me that last night, she says she doesnt remember, but she replies saying ‘ No? unless i fall for someone else’,
me-‘i hope you dont’ ,
she-the same goes for you, if u find someone else i cant help.
So i told her we should stop there.
then sunday i texted her just to chat, she asked me when i was coming i said august,she said it was soon ,and i told her i probably wouldnt come back there i would be staying in another city ( same city that one of the girls (my friends) that she HATES live) , she kept saying i should stay there cuz all my friends are there not in the other town, i said i dont know ( we lived in sydney-ns, i was going to stay in halifax-ns) because sydney is really boring, so then she asked me why wont i live with my friend ? ( girl she hates), i said i dont want to she kept asking why, i told her that she screwed something up in my life and i dont wanna her doing it again,and other reason that i dont wanna mention, she asked what reason i told her i dont wanna screw up things between us because i want to work things out when im back, she then said she doesnt get why i still talking with that girl and stuff, i told her to stop being jealous she said shes not she doesnt even care ( i was already mad at the point), then she goes i shouldn’t be waiting for her because she might not even be there anymore ( transferring), and i shouldnt be missing a life partner because of her,that a lot of things can happen in 2/3 months ( time till i see her again),i kept going saying i just wanna wait for her, she said i shouldnt that we didnt even date for that long and that all relationships are fine in the first month, so i asked her about all the plans we had ,she then says that we were never in love, we just liked each other a lot and when i left we got sad.
I was pissed because i understood that she said we were a mistake and she never loved me, i sent her a huge message saying all that stuff and that i was tired and confused of her changing her mind all the time and i didnt know what was going on,that i only want to stop fighting and arguing abt us i just wanted to wait till the fall and see if we can work things out.
She texted me the next day saying was no need for that message, that i should forget about us i asked for how long she said she doesnt know that things are complicated i just agreed,she said she feels bad but she doesnt know how to explain, i told her dont bother that i dont care anymore.
We didnt talk for a day after that she even untagged all our pictures from facebook.
I friends with her best guy friend that is super protective with her, i asked him if i could ask for an advice about my ex, so i explained him the whole situation throught facebook he said he would check it out later because at that moment he was hanging out with my ex and one of her friend ( she doesnt like me),then my ex texts me asking if i was ok,i said im ok, so she goes stop going on about us then, i said i wasnt ,i kept denying it,she was getting pissed to i told her that i asked her best friend for an advice, how did she find out ? her friend who hates me saw the text from the back sit of the car and told me ex. So we got into a huge fight she kept saying that all i do is going on about me and her,that i shouldnt be talking with her friends and i should be talking with mine not hers,and that shes glad she wont have to ever date me again,i said the same she goes ‘thanks god i realized that the other day’ i also said the same and that i couldnt believe that i wasted 2 months of my life,so i asked her what i did wrong she said was the retarded messages one after another and the phone calls but even without that we wouldnt work,i asked why she goes it none of my business, so i blocked/deleted her from facebook,msn and phone, but in the next morning i texted her apologizing explained her that im going throught some things here i’ve been not ok and that she knows that im not like that, she only said ‘okey’,and that her life aint my business, i didnt text her since, she texted me the next day saying ‘ la’ i just answered ‘la?’.

We haven’t talk since tuesday,and i had some time to think and i realized that i was being retarded about that instead of just forgetting aout that and worrying only when i was back, but it kills me not talking to her. And shes my first girlfriend, im not the date-kind guy more the player one, but i can’t get my mind of her, i kept having dreams about her,When i’m back she is going to be around a lot because we go to the same university,might even be in the same class,and most of the bars that i go, she goes too. And i don’t wanna have that awkward moment with her and i know im going to be pissed out my mind if i see her with some other guy

I don’t know what to do now, because I dont wanna move on,because we were perfect when i was there, we were her friend favorite couple, and I know that the distance made everything hard, and i wanna work things out with her in the fall when im back.

I don’t know if I should see if she still mad at me and try to apologize might explained what happened then try to be just friends till im back,or if i should just wait till the fall, im only afraid she will forget about me by then.

And I wanna her back more than anything else,i just wanna try to fix things and not screw up again.

Some things that i don’t know if its relevant but I’m 19 and she’s going to turn 21 next year, when i left she gave me a frame with a picture of us and i wrote her a letter,gave one of my shirts to her and a bracelet, and a stuffed animal,couple days before we break up she told me she knows things arent the same but she loves me like she never loved anyone before and she miss me so much,and i we talked on the phone only twice since I left, first when I got home and the second couple days after we break up, and we had an awesome chat for over 2 hours’

[AskApril Masini]

That was a [i]really, really, really[/i] long post, and I realized two thirds through reading it that you probably expect too much from people. It’s a lot to expect people to read that entire post, and it’s a lot to expect this relationship to last long distance when all the two of you did was bicker and profess love and bicker and profess jealousy and bicker about not being together. 🙄 I think you need to be more realistic of what you expect from people in your life — whether it’s someone like me or other readers on this forum, or the ex-girlfriend that you wish you could be back together with.

What you had before you left school was a very sweet romance that ended naturally because you left town for a good reason. What you turned it into was this long, drawn out, mostly unpleasant and inorganically dramatic relationship that didn’t give either one of you any satisfaction. 😳

My advice is to either move back to her town and try to date her again or to be long distance on your own without any contact.

I hope that helps — and that you’ll check out my group page, AskApril.com on Facebook, at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

[Anonymous]

I’m really sorry again for the long post.

And after a week not talking to her, that I realized how (sorry for the word) retard I was being towards her.
I’m going to apologize to her really soon.

I know I did pretty much all the ‘big don’t if you want your ex back’ , now I’ve realized that I’d want a fresh start with her,because she’s the first one that made me happy in years. Since we fought I had dreams almost every night about we getting back together,or even that we didn’t break up.

I’m just able to move back to her town in September or August, is there any ”better’ approach that I could use until I see her again and after.

Because she means a lot to me,and I’d think that if I didn’t have to leave, me and her would work out.

Thanks April.

[AskApril Masini]

Yes. Read my book, Date Out of Your League, written for men who want to get the girl who’s, well, [i]out of their league! [/i] And right now, this woman is! 😆 Therefore, this is the PERFECT book for you to read at the PERFECT time. You can get it right here: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/date-out-of-your-league.html[/url].

If you do what I suggest in the book, and take the tips and advice to heart, you’ll start attracting women and lots of them. Your ex will be interested and curious and she may decide she’s made a mistake with this other guy — but even if she hasn’t, you’ll have invested in yourself, and improved your life by making some changes in it.

I hope that helps, and hey! Join me on Facebook — I’d love to see you become a member of my group page at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

[Member]

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