[lovelife90]

Hey all,

I have just become a member as I was curious to see how this kind of forum works. Anyway, I have a situation that is driving me insane – embarrassed to admit it, but I just can’t help it!! 😥

A month ago, I went out with my best friend, her bf, and his best mate (who they wanted to introduce me to). They both thought we’d get along well, and surprise surprise, we got along very well. I had no expectation of anything happening, but we hooked up (totally amazing) and he asked for my number, and was the first to text me, which is great. We kept in touch, and all went out again on a double date, except he was acting shy (which is how he is apparently). However, we caught up alone a couple of times afterwards, and he was completely comfortable with me, and hardly shy at all, which I assume is a good thing?? Hanging out together was amazing, and so much fun. We continued to get along really well, and became very close, despite only having known each other for a short time. He commented, so many times, that he felt really comfortable with me, and that he felt like he’d known me for ages. We spent 2 days straight together, and he was SO affectionate (I’m not joking!!!). He would not leave me alone. I’m serious, he cuddled me non-stop, and said many times how he could do it all day long. His body language very much suggested that he was attracted to me. It was just obvious. I definitely felt attracted to him. If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have been so affectionate in return. Basically, the way we treated each other was how you’d treat someone you were dating. He was very sweet, gentle, etc, and did not act in a sleazy way towards me. After hanging out for 2 days, he text and said how much he was looking forward to seeing me again.

Less than a week later, he text me and said that he’d been thinking that things were moving too quickly, and that it felt as though we were jumping straight into something with each other. Also said that he’d not long been out of a 2 year relationship, and that he wasn’t ready for that again yet, as it felt too soon and didn’t feel right…………Now, I can understand that!!! It’s fair enough, right?? I’m not ready for a relationship at the moment either, as I ended a 1.5 year relationship not that long ago either……..I never expected things to move so quickly with him, and hoped that we could get to know each other gradually as friends.

Now, my question is…..Would he have acted overly affectionate (as he did for the entire time) if he didn’t feel anything (e.g., a spark)??? Being a girl, I just assumed that he wouldn’t waste his time being that way, especially if he didn’t feel anything towards me……My best friend (who knows him well) believes that he has freaked out in response to what has happened, and because he is is not the type of guy that would be interested in having meaningless hookups, and is nor ready for a relationship at the moment, has back-tracked, and subsequently claimed that he didn’t feel a spark……..Should I put this theory to rest?? Haha. Due to the circumstances, i.e., of not long being out of a relationship, is it plausible that he has chosen to convince himself that there wasn’t a spark between us? Surely body language doesn’t lie? :-/ Or is he simply just not that into me?? *Cringe*

Please put me out of my misery, I am sooooo confused!!! 😥

Thank you 😀

[April Masini, your AskApril]

He was very clear with you when he said, rightly so, that you’d both moved too quickly, and now he wanted to backtrack and make things right by telling you his feelings so you’ll know why he’s not going to continue to act the way he did during the few days during which you first met.

Don’t second guess him — you’ll drive yourself crazy and continue to confuse yourself. Instead, take him at his word and at his behavior. If he wants to date you, he will. If he doesn’t, he won’t.

That said, this is a good time to learn why dating a certain way will yield the best results. I hope you’ll buy and read Think & Date Like A Man, [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url], so you can get the details on dating to win the game. It will help you a lot!

Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

[Member]

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