That’s a tough spot and I get it. When you’ve known someone that long, there’s a whole lot of history tied up in what happened. You didn’t just cross a line with a stranger; you crossed it with someone who’s been part of your life for over a decade. That changes everything.
It sounds like she’s confused too. Making the first move, then pulling back that’s not about you doing something wrong. That’s someone trying to figure out their own feelings, maybe realizing the comfort of friendship felt safer than the uncertainty of something more. People who’ve been through divorce sometimes guard their hearts tighter than they admit, even when they crave closeness.
You did the right thing by being honest with her. But right now, you can’t force her to meet you where you are emotionally. The best move might be to give her a little space not to punish her, but to protect your own heart. Let her see what it feels like without your steady presence for a bit.
If the friendship’s real, it’ll survive this. And if it doesn’t, then what you had was already changing, whether you realized it or not. Sometimes, caring about someone means accepting that they’re scared and sometimes it means stepping back so you can breathe again.
You’ll find your footing, brother. You’ve already been through worse and made it out stronger.
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