[nokose]

Not sure where to begin with this. Me and my current live in boyfriend used to be friends with benefits. He always said he was not ready for a real relationship, and I am sure he had at least one other friend before he moved in with me. I fell for him. and was in the process of getting my own place. (I had recently separated from my husband when we met.) Technically we were just friends for about a year. I got my own place, and he made sure he had his own key, etc. I told him before he moved in that I would not allow it unless we were officially boyfriend/girlfriend. He agreed. Fast forward 9 mos. later. I am still here, he is still here, he still texts and is infatuated with his other friend, or any other female that looks at him. He swears he doesnt, but the cell bill reflects otherwise. (He doesnt know I check the bill, and I cant stand the fact that I feel the need to.) She no longer speaks to him. I pay all the bills except for cable, and ask myself everyday why I am putting up with this. I dont even know how to get rid of him. He has no money to get his own place, and he has no close family here. I geuss I feel sorry for him, even though he surely doesnt give a crap about me. He will once in a while say I love you, only when he’s drunk and knows that he is about to be homeless or he knows I have caught him once again trying to pick up somebody else. His response is usually, ” I come home to you every nite…” And once he didnt even do that that, he stayed at a mutual friends house, (female), and completely ignored my phone calls all night. (She says nothing happened and that he was drunk, and she told him I was calling, and he wasn’t concerned about it.) Should I distance myself and do my own thing, and see how he reacts, or just boot him out all together?
Missi

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Look in the mirror and you’ll see the word “doormat” stamped on your forehead. 😕

You’re letting him walk all over you — he’s not doing it — [i]you’re[/i] the one who’s allowing it. Of course you should get rid of him! He’s dating other women, and has been the entire time you’ve been with him. He doesn’t contribute to the household expenses. He’s using you — and you are the one who’s facilitating this arrangement.

(Nice try by saying, “he made sure he had a key to my place”. Seriously? Change the locks if you don’t want him to use a key. You’re not a victim. So, don’t pretend to be one because I don’t buy it, and neither should you. 😉 )

Booting him altogether is the way to go. Give him 24 hours to leave, and if he doesn’t, then pack up his stuff and send it to his mother’s house, then change the locks. You could do a lot better for yourself on any given day — but aim higher than that! 😆 Instead, read Think & Date Like A Man, [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url], a book I wrote for women who want to find, get and date Mr. Right — it’s going to help you ENORMOUSLY!

Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

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