[littleteeisme]

Okay so here’s the deal, me and this guy have been “friends” for about 3 years now. We did start out as strictly friends, but then over the first year or so, we would kiss or cuddle but we weren’t really dating. We talked a lot, watched movies or played video games. It was more friends with a small portion of benefit. We talked about seeing each other but he told me he wasn’t ready to have something serious. I really like him and really enjoy spending time with him but I respected his decision.

But then, he got a girlfriend. They fought a lot and were always breaking up and getting back together. Me and him were still pretty close and talked everyday but of course she got jealous and wouldn’t let him talk to me anymore. He would still talk to me but cut ties such as Facebook so that she couldn’t see what he was doing.

To get to the point, for the past couple of months, they have been more off then they have been on. But I am getting mixed signals from him. He’ll still talk about her, but we see each other now many times a week and talk AT LEAST once a day and we talk on the phone for hours. When we’re together now, he always has his arm around me or is holding my hand or we’re cuddling. He doesn’t like it if I have to leave and begs me to stay longer. He asks me every single day if we can see each other.

And I did tell him my feelings. A couple of months ago, I was up front with him. I don’t know if he got scared or what, but we actually stopped talking after that for about 3 months. It was only about a month or so ago that he called me and apologized to me for acting the way that he did, and THAT’S when we started becoming closer and talking more and seeing each other more frequently.

I am absolutely infatuated with him. I just click with him. We both have dorky personalities. I am very attracted to him. And when I’m around him, I can just be myself. I feel like I really want to be in a relationship with him, but I really don’t want to lose him by being up front with him again. I would much rather have him in my life as a friend then lose him.

I’m just not sure what he wants, do you think he wants to be with me, or just be friends?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

How old are you both?

[littleteeisme]

I am 23 and he is 24.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Thanks for filling me in on your ages. 😀

He has what he wants with you — friends with benefits. And it sounds like you want a more conservative dating relationship. The problem is, you didn’t “advertise” yourself as a girlfriend. You decided to be a friend with benefits. Now, you want to backtrack. There’s a risk involved here — that you’ll lose him altogether. But I think the risk is entirely worth it. If you don’t take it, you’ll continue being his friend with benefits while he dates other women deciding who he wants to be with. If you do take it, and back out of the friendship so that if he wants to see you, he has to ask you out on a date and actually date you!, then he may not be interested in you as a girlfriend.

I hope that answers your question. Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

[littleteeisme]

Thank you Ms. April!

I am actually going to take that risk this upcoming week. My parents are going to be away and he’s staying with me so that I am not alone. Connections really have been growing with us more these past couple of days and we actually have a date planned this coming weekend which I am excited about. Hopefully this means that things may be progressing. I’m not sure yet where it’s going, but I am going to make sure that I put everything out there and this time, I am not gonna get scared again. I’m putting my claws into him and i’m not going to back out because I’m afraid he doesn’t want the same thing.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Good luck! 😀

[Member]

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