[josy]

My boyfriend and i recently broke up because he did not want a relationship anymore, not the worry or commitment that comes with it. He also said how he was recently unhappy and no longer cared about much. In my opinion, i think he’s slightly depressed. Anyways, he still loves me and still has feelings for me. As well as i do for him. We wanted to stay friends because we both still cared about each other and liked each other and wanted each other in our lives. However now we’re fwb. I’m wondering if this is a bad idea? we both still feel things for each other, and want each other in our lives, but it seems impossible to be only friends. There’s a possibility that we may end up getting back together much later, however that’s not set in stone.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Friends with benefits with an ex is understandable — but not a great idea if you what you want is a committed, monogamous relationship. Sex changes things and I guarantee you’ll feel jealousy if he starts dating someone else while he’s sleeping with you under the banner of friends with benefits. If you were really just friends, you’d be happy that he found someone that he liked — even if it’s not you! But since you’re truly not just friends — and not even just friends with benefits — you’re more than that — you’re in for some delayed heartbreak with this new relationship status. He doesn’t want to lose you — but he doesn’t want to commit to you. This in-between phase isn’t a great idea for the long run. Break ups are difficult because they’re a loss and that’s painful — but if you don’t experience that loss, it’s very difficult to feel truly single. And until you feel truly single, you’re not going to be available to meet someone new who may want the commitment you really want. 😉

Hope that helps!

[Adil]

You are not a “convenience store” that he can come to whenever he wants, relax a little, and leave without any commitment. This is a buffet party for him. He has also raised the tension in the relationship, and he is getting access to you.
Know your worth. Be so hot and confident that he realizes what he has lost. April has given the perfect expert advice that as long as you are stuck in this “in-between” phase, you will never feel single nor will you meet someone new who can give you the commitment you deserve.
Stop wasting your time and show him that you are not an option but a “prize”. Only when you cut him out of your life will he miss you. You haven’t even let him go through the pain of the breakup yet!

[Member]

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