[newlysingle]

Hi April (and users),

I was hoping that you could give me some advise. Here is the scenario…

My boyfriend and I recently broke up after 8 months of dating. He says that our personalities clash and that I am looking for a different type of personality than him. He says that I am too demanding and that he couldn’t deal with that anymore. A couple of days after breaking up we decided to talk, so we went on a walk and we both agreed that we should take some time and work on ourselves. He said he wanted to be single for awhile and we both needed to work on some things. After some reflection, I also saw that he was right. I took him for granted and demanded a lot from him (which he willingly did but I never appreciated like I should). I knew that this was something that I personally needed to work on so we agreed to both take that time to focus on ourselves. He said that my being demanding was the only thing he wasn’t happy with in our relationship and that if I could work on that he could be happy with me. I agreed because he said that there may be the potential of us getting back together later (as in a few months).

The problem with all of this is that we work together in a very small tight-knit office where we see each other almost every day. Even though it has been hard, I have backed off for the most part and tried to work on myself. I was really happy with myself and learning how to be happy alone when I found out he was starting to date someone else (two weeks after we broke up). I am now heartbroken all over again. I still want him back and I truly believe that if we both worked on some things that we could be happy together. He still does a few (small) things that show he cares but I don’t know if he is just doing that because we work together. I was staying positive that we could get back together until I found out about the new girl. Is this a lost cause?

With all of that being said, how can I get back my ex boyfriend who is also my coworker and is beginning to date someone else? Help please. All comments appreciated!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I’m sorry, but this is a lost cause. 😳 Eight months of dating is plenty of time to decide if you’re going to work out or not, and your boyfriend decided it was a no go. When you broke up to work on yourselves, that was a real break up. You were and are both single and able to date other people. Whenever there is a break, it’s a signal that things didn’t work out. I think you ignored that because it was an amicable break up where you both agreed on what the problems were. It’s harder to let go of someone when there is no animosity or ill will.

That said, I don’t think you can get him back now. He’s given the relationship a good eight months and he’s moved on. The best thing you can do is to learn from your mistakes and make the next relationship better because of what you have learned about yourself.

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go for you, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

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