[Anonymous]

I need an answer to an ongoing issue.

I’m a 35 yearold, gainfully employed male, currently single. I am average height, in good shape, brown hair, green/hazel eyes.

Long story short, I get along great with women. I’ve had some great relationships, very few bad ones. I am open-minded, dating women of different races and backgrounds, and never placed many limits…I’ll meet someone anywhere, including at a bar. I’ve never understood people who said “I don’t want to meet someone at a bar”, considering that is where lots of single people go. My only semi-limit is dating coworkers, although I’ve done that before.

Here’s the thing, IMO the best way to meet people is through friends. However, this has been a disaster for me and as I get older it gets harder to meet people. I work a lot, and not as interested as I used to be in going to bars/parties to meet women.

Most importantly, all of the girls that I have been set up with in my life were completely unattractive, and most of the time mentally disturbed. It bothers me more that these girls have personality problems more than anything. I know that sounds mean, and I don’t want it to. But I have been set up with a girl who was twice my size, another girl who was a complete psychopath, etcetera. And these are by people who know me and know my type. Cute, smart, petite, laid back.

I don’t care if she’s rich or not. She doesn’t have to be from a particular college (or have gone at all), so long as she’s intelligent. She doesn’t have to be a perfect 10. In fact, I could care less what others think so long we’re right for each other.

But again, time and again, I am set up with these completely bizarre girls who I have nothing in common with. And I take it very personally (sometimes very personally). Bear in mind, during the date I am a true gentleman. Not only that, I never badmouth the girl to the person (or couple) who sets us up because I don’t want to cause bad blood. But I do wonder why this keeps happening. I generally let things roll off my shoulder, but it’s hard being single and have people who know me well do this. I take at as a sub-conscious expression of their true opinion of me.

On a side note, a while ago a girl I knew (friend’s girlfriend) refused to set me up with her cute friend, instead setting me up with a girl much older and not my type in any way. When I slept with her cute friend anyway, she freaked out at me. It wasn’t jealousy, but it was weird. It’s as if the dating universe is against me and making things as difficult as possible 🙂

[Ask April Masini]

Yikes! Unattractive [i]and[/i] mentally disturbed set ups? 😕 If I were you, I’d stop worrying WHY you’re getting set up badly and just stop accepting any dates that friends set you up on.

It’s a lot easier to suss out women you find unattractive and mentally disturbed if you do your own dating, all by yourself and without the help of friends. There are lots of places to meet single women, as you know, and if your old haunts aren’t working for you — shake up your routine, and check out some new coffee shops, parks, museums and other places to meet single women. Party season is upon us with the holidays, and accept all party invitations you receive, as there are usually singles at parties, and some you may even find interesting. The internet is also a good tool to use for meeting women. While some posted photos can be misleading, at least you’ve got an initial photo to go by, rather than your friends’ bad taste in attractive fix ups!

So the simple answer to your question is — stop accepting your friend’s fix ups and only make your own dates from now on. I hope that helps! Good luck. 🙂

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