[LawOfLove]

There is this girl that goes to my old high school that I noticed was interested in me. I don’t know if she knew I felt the same way about her. I had to leave before I got to know her very well. I was only there about 3 weeks before I graduate early in November. I am inhumanly shy and socially awkward to an extreme. It’s hard for someone to talk to me without me getting locked in a smile/blush phase. It really does not matter who they are or what they say. It some times makes me look rude when I try to hide this. I am also very soft spoken so people have trouble hearing me when I speak. So it probably would have been a little hard to talk to her, if I had stayed at the school. I am 18 and she is 17.

I have tried many ways to get in contact with her such as Facebook and trying to talk to her after school. She has yet to add me on FB, she does not use it very often and my profile picture is not a picture of me, it’s a logo. Also I saw her once outside the high school but she gets picked up after like 2 minutes of waiting, so I was not able to approach her. We got to glance at each other from a distance for a few seconds. I slightly know some of her friends but they think of me as an awesome, gentle but mysterious person for some strange reason. I never really talked to them that much and I have to go a bit out of my way to do so. Should I tell one off them how I feel to see if she could help? I thought this might be a good idea but they probably would not expect that from me and think that it is weird. I have no easy way of speaking to the girl directly, so should I do this? If so should I talk to them online or in person? How would I go about bringing it up? Please take my shyness in to account.

I do not become attracted to many girls, so I never really put any effort in to pursuing a girl. There seems to be a lot of girls that are attracted to me but I have yet to be really drawn to anyone like I am to this girl. I always just strug off any advances by girls out of shyness and lack or interest. Please provide any advice that you can. I don’t want to lose a chance with this girl. She is perfect.

Thank you and god bless.

[AskApril Masini]

First of all, [i]don’t[/i] approach her friends. You’re just going to create a situation for miscommunication at best, and her thinking you don’t have the courage to approach her, yourself, at worst. 😳

Second, it sounds like you have a lot of social issues of your own that will follow you from one relationship to another unless you make some changes to your own behavior. You know what they are — which is a GREAT start! 😉 So take the easy ones, and begin to make some changes until you’re the kind of guy who CAN approach a girl you like . 🙂 The social media logo you have should get replaced with a photo of you! Find one that is appealing and post it. Next, start smiling at girls. It costs you nothing and you can practice on people you don’t even know. Next, start striking up conversations — again, if you practice on people in the mall, at fast food restaurants, at school — you won’t feel like there’s as much value in the exchange.

You have to put yourself in her shoes. Think about why she would want to spend time with a guy. It’s probably because he’s nice, cute, friendly, smart and funny. It’ll be because she can talk to him and he listens to her and they do things together that are fun. If you want to be the guy who gets the girl then be the guy who CAN talk to her.

I hope this helps — let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

[LawOfLove]

Thank you, I will work on that.

[LawOfLove]

Today the best and worst thing happened. I was in a store in a shopping complex in my area and I left and went to a different place. I left that second place after a few minutes and decided to go home, then surprisingly as I was walking past the first place I was in the girl exited and I walked quickly past her, as she walked towards her car. I doubt she noticed me, it all happened so quick. I seen the car pull off and park in the lot of the next store. I slowly walked down and seen her and her father exit the car and go in to the store that I had just recently left. I decided to go back to that store. I found her and her dad in the store, I nonchalantly entered that aisle without being noticed. I couldn’t find the courage to talk to her with her dad there. I felt as if I would be getting in the way or something. Since I wasn’t noticed in the first place I just turned around and left the store.

I felt crushed as if I lost my chance. I just had to leave the store she was in by herself before I had seen her. I am very sad now. I just wish I hadn’t left the first store so soon. This was the first time I seen her in public.

[lesterkiwi]

Listen mate, I know exactly how you feel. I used to be extremely shy and scared to approach any women. Im here to tell you that with some hard work and diligence you can overcome your anxieties.
Here’s a simple excersize starting out, whenever you’re at a store buying something, and you’re paying the cashier, look at them, smile, and say “Hi, how are you doing today?” You will usually find they respond positively. Start doing this with all people you meet. Also start paying attention to peoples body language, especially the ones that are confident. You will quickly see a difference between people that are confident and the ones that aren’t. You will want to know this as a frame of reference for yourself. As you get comfortable, keep moving forward. Keep working just outside of your comfort zone. Don’t try to much too soon.
As far as this girl. I’ve been in the same boat, hating myself for not acting on a situation. Let it go and focus on developing your social skills. Another thing, don’t ever follow a girl and “hover”. Women are much more intuitive than us, and can tell when someone is hanging around wanting to come up to them. It can creep them out. I would stop focusing your energy on this girl. Work on yourself and when you get better at interacting with people you will have much more success. I hope this helps. Good luck.

[AskApril Masini]

Once again,[b] lesterkiwi[/b] and I are on the same page! 😆

This problem is less about the girl then it is about your social anxieties. You have to find a way to be okay with small talk, rejection, and all the societal norms of dating. My advice is that you buy and read Date Out of Your League, a book I wrote for men who want to win with women. Focus on the basics in the book, and you WILL overcome your anxieties. 😀 Here’s the link where you can buy it: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/date-out-of-your-league.html[/url]. 😀

Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 🙂

[Member]

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