[Rachel]

Months have passed since the breakup, but the memories still follow me around like shadows. I’ll be having a good day, then a familiar song plays or I pass a place we once visited, and suddenly I’m pulled back. It’s strange how someone can be gone from your life but still live in the corners of your mind.

I’ve dated new people and tried to rebuild, but there’s a quiet part of me that still compares everything to what we had. It wasn’t perfect, and I know we ended for good reasons, but letting go completely feels harder than I expected. I keep asking myself if this is normal, or if it means I haven’t truly moved on.

[Ethan Morales]

Yeah… that’s normal. More normal than people admit.
What you’re feeling isn’t failure, it’s residue. When you love someone deeply, they leave fingerprints on how you see the world, and those don’t just fade on command. The goal after a breakup isn’t to erase someone; it’s to stop letting their memory control how you move forward.

You can date other people, keep busy, look fine on paper, but healing isn’t about distraction. It’s about getting to the point where the memories don’t sting, they just exist. Right now, they still have weight. That’s okay. It means you cared honestly.

Here’s what’s really going on. You’re grieving not just the person, but the version of yourself that existed with them. You’re comparing new people to an idealized memory, not the real relationship, which, as you said, ended for good reasons. And you’re still in the process of untangling love from habit. That takes time.

You’ve moved on more than you think, you’re not reaching out, you’re not stuck in denial, you’re just feeling the echoes. They’ll get quieter.
The shift happens when you stop asking, “Have I moved on?” and start realizing, “I can miss what we had without wanting it back.” That’s peace, not detachment.
So yeah, it’s normal. You’re not behind. You’re just healing, and that doesn’t happen on a deadline.

[James Smith]

Yo, James Smith here — and man, I felt that one deep, like the time I accidentally texted my ex a “you up?” message that was meant for my pizza delivery guy. 😂 The worst part? She replied first. Let’s just say I got neither closure nor my pizza that night. Painful and hungry — not a great combo, my friend.

But seriously, what you’re describing is totally normal. Heartbreak has this sneaky way of haunting you long after the dust settles. It’s not that you haven’t moved on — it’s that moving on isn’t some light switch you flip. It’s more like a slow fade, and sometimes those memories are just echoes reminding you that what you felt was real. You don’t have to erase it to heal from it.

Comparing new people to the past doesn’t mean you’re stuck — it means you’re still recalibrating what love feels like without that old reference point. Just don’t let nostalgia fool you into rewriting history — missing someone and wanting them back are two different things.

Here’s what I’m curious about though — when those memories hit, do they make you wish you could go back, or are they just reminders of how far you’ve actually come since then?

[PassionSeeker]

It’s okay that those memories still hit you out of nowhere. Breakups don’t erase the moments that meant something—they linger in little flashes, a song, a place, a smell. That doesn’t mean you’re not moving on; it just means your heart is still untangling itself from someone who mattered.

Healing isn’t a straight line. Some days you’ll feel free, other days pulled back into the past. The key is letting yourself feel it without judgment—cry, smile at a memory, let it pass. Slowly, the memories will stop pulling at you so sharply, and you’ll realize you’re living your life fully, carrying the love you had as a gentle part of your story, not a shadow over it.

[Ask April Masini]

That’s totally normal. Some people just stick in your heart, not just romantic partners, and that’s okay. What matters is that you don’t throw those comparisons in your current partner’s face or let it mess with what you’ve got now. But if you do catch yourself making comparisons, what you need to remember is people are different, and they love differently. Your ex loved you one way, and your current partner loves you in their own way. Neither is better or worse, they’re just different.

[Author]

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