[kpcp12342007]

I have a question and would like to know what to do. My girlfriend and I have been dating for several months now and we live together. Her divorce was just final a little over a month now. She has two children the boy is 15 and the girl is 20. The son has basketball games every tuesday night and her and her ex ride together to the games and then they take the kids out to dinner after the games. Should I be mad that they are still acting as a family after the games are over with and going to out to dinner. Myself and my daughter are never invited to go with them. I understand most of the time why I am not invited as I work nights and would not have time to go to the game and get back home to get ready for work and make it to work on time. But them not including my daughter really upsets me. I do not know if I am blowing all of this out of wack or not. I just do not think it is right that we are living together and they still do this kind of stuff like they are still a family. The other thing is that this is not going to be the only time that this will happen, as their son playes football for the school and she told me that when the games are out of town that they will be doing the same thing through out the football season. I do not think this is helping the relationship between us, I believe that it is just hurting it. I love her very much but it is just breaking my heart that they are still acting as a family. What should I do?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Clearly, your girlfriend isn’t ready to blend her family with yours in the same way you are just yet. The question looms: WHY? Why is it that she doesn’t want you and your daughter to be included her son’s public sports activities? That’s the one question I would ask her. Her answer will help you figure out your next move.

Without knowing that answer, my suggestion to you is to propose an interim step. One interim step MIGHT be that you and your daughter attend the games, but not the meals afterwards. Or maybe just one of you does that.

Blending families is very tricky business because there are so many dynamics between so many people involved — but it can be done! 😀

Let me know the answer to the question above, and I’m happy to help you further.

In the meantime, join me on Facebook! I’d love to have you there. Here’s that link: [url][/url]. 😀

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