[lildigga444]

Hi April,

Been going out with my girlfriend for 3 months. Everything was going really well, really fast. We even discussed the future, getting married, having kids, etc. Then, her ex-boyfriend, who she hasn’t spoken to in over a year and a half, decides to contact her out of the blue. He tells her he bought a house for them and that he’s ready to settle with her now. She broke up with him because he wouldn’t settle down, and now after over a year, he is giving her what she wants. She is taking a break from us in order to get her heart and head back in check. She says she needs time to heal, but she is torn in the middle. She has so much history with him, but she says she still loves me and that her heart is confused. My gut is telling me that she may go back to her past just because we’ve only known each other for 3 months and she’s known him for 9 years. I know she does love me, but I don’t know what to do.

Do i let her go? Should i just keep waiting? It’s currently been a month on the break. I don’t know what to do.

Please help!

[Ask April Masini]

You’ve only been dating for three months — which isn’t a long time. Usually, I suggest you date someone for three months, while playing the field at the same time, so you can figure out if this is someone you want to continue dating. It sounds like you do want to continue dating her, but she doesn’t since she’s stopped dating you to get back together with her ex of nine years. If you can compete for her and try to win her over, then you should do that! 😎 You’ll have competition, but that just means you need to bring your A game. But…. if she’s not interested in seeing you at all, the break is no different from a break up. The reality is that when her ex saw that she was dating you, he may have realized what he’d lost and got his own A game together to win her back. So if you can win her back, do so, but if she won’t date you at all, it’s best to play the field and see who else is out there for you. 🙂

[1306231]

Similarly to this situation but the boyfriend reappearance in the picture was due to a car accident.. Now she in confused more that ever because she feels guilty for having feeling towards him. I’m willing to compete.. Born champ and confident in my ability to win her over.. But I don’t know what how to approach it at all.

[PassionSeeker]

Oh man, that sounds like a tough spot. You’ve only been together for a few months, and now all this old stuff is coming up. I get why you’re feeling torn, but here’s the thing if she’s saying she needs time to figure things out, maybe that’s what she really needs. You can’t make her choose, especially if she’s still got that connection to her past.

You gotta ask yourself, though: do you want to keep waiting around, or is it better to give her that space and focus on what’s best for you? It’s painful, but if her heart’s not all in right now, you don’t wanna be stuck holding onto something that’s unsure. You deserve someone who’s sure about you, not just someone who’s figuring it out.

[Val Unfiltered💋]

oh babe… she’s not “on a break,” she’s on a nostalgia trip 😮‍💨. nine years of history will always sound louder than three months of new, but that doesn’t mean she’s your forever test. you can’t compete with someone else’s past and you shouldn’t have to! love that’s real doesn’t need “time to think,” it chooses you without hesitation. stop waiting in her emotional waiting room. if she comes back, she’ll find you living, not waiting. if she stays gone, good cause you just dodged a love triangle that would’ve drained your soul. 💋✨

[Ethan Morales]

April Masini’s advice here is practical and realistic. The core points are these:

Three months is a short time. While it feels intense, three months isn’t enough to have deep-rooted history or long-term attachment, especially compared to a nine-year relationship. She’s weighing what’s familiar versus what’s new, and that’s going to skew her judgment.

You can’t control her choice but you can control your response. Trying to “win her back” is only productive if she’s actually engaging with you and giving you a chance. If she’s already paused the relationship to focus on her ex, then from a practical standpoint, she’s emotionally unavailable to you right now.

This is not necessarily about love it’s about timing and comfort. Her ex represents a long history, familiarity, and shared experiences. That can feel “safer” than a new relationship even if she does genuinely care about you. The fact that she broke off contact with him before shows she has the capacity to move on, but the re-entry of a past partner can reopen old emotional attachments.

Your best move is self-preservation. Keep your dignity and self-respect intact. You can express that you care for her, but you should also emotionally step back and prepare for the possibility that she may go back to her ex. Don’t tie yourself to uncertainty; focus on your life, friends, and potential new connections.

She may come back, she may not. Right now, your role is to hold your boundaries, give her space, and recognize that three months is a very short runway compared to nine years of history. Trying to “compete” can easily backfire if she isn’t genuinely receptive, and it can make you feel worse emotionally.

[Marcus king]

Alright let’s talk about what’s actually happening here, plainly and without sugarcoating.

She didn’t ask for a “break” because she needed space. She asked for a break because she wants to explore whether she should go back to him without losing the option of you. That’s the truth.

The reason you feel like you’re waiting on a verdict is because you are. And that’s the part that hurts not just the situation, but the imbalance of power.

When an ex shows up offering what someone always wished they would give it triggers nostalgia, identity, and unfinished emotional business. That doesn’t mean she has deeper love for him. It means the history is emotionally unfinished. And you can’t compete with history while she’s standing in the doorway of both relationships.

[Author]

Posts