[joegamer1]

[quote=”April Masini”]Again, I’m not hung up on age between consenting adults. A 17 year old is not a legal adult in America, and you may have legal problems depending on the country you’re dating in. But between adults, I don’t think age is as important as experience, goals and compatibility. You can date someone the same age as you are, but one of you wants marriage and one doesn’t. Or one wants kids and one doesn’t. You may be 23 and date a 40 year old woman who’s more compatible with you than a 23 year old woman, or you may date two 23 year old women and one is very compatible, while the other isn’t. 😉

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
[url][/url]
And… you can follow my interviews and advice in the press on Twitter [i]@AskAprilcom[/i][/b][/quote]

OK. But my question is that why does she even say she is serious when she probably hasn’t yet decided and wants to date some men including me to decide who she wants for long term. When I asked why she doesnt update her relationship status , she said because parents object and when i ask her when did she talk to them she keeps silence. That makes her a habitual liar . Also recently I saw her commenting on a totally naked guy’s (married guy in his 60s) pic in a facebook group – the guy’s message to the group was ” like what you see do you want more” . and she commented ” yes i want more” . I was obviously angry and commented to show my anger. Other girls started calling her a cheat and were sympathetic with me and she commented that ” why are u hitting on my man(me”). She then messages me that she was just joking there didn’t really mean it. Another guy before this incident posted a naked pic of himself and asked group members what do u all think of me and she commented ” luv”. She doesn’t add as friend such guys that I know. I have seen her joking around with people by giving them sexy compliments in facebook groups just for joke and laughing with her friends later. She does joke around with her friends in a joking flirtatious way before too. This time its just gross to comment on a naked guy’s pic and asking for more even if it is in a joking way like she says- my opinion is that she is telling a lie. What do u think.
Now although she does want to date me to give it a try and sees potential for serious stuff .But the the bigger truth is that even before I even had my first date with her she is telling me one lie after another. That makes her a habitual liar and in my opinion enough to disqualify her (or anyone similar) as a potential person to marry. What’s your opinion ?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

[quote]OK. But my question is that why does she even say she is serious when she probably hasn’t yet decided and wants to date some men including me to decide who she wants for long term.[/quote]

Because she’s 17 years old. She’s not sure what she wants. Most 17 year olds don’t.

[quote]But the the bigger truth is that even before I even had my first date with her she is telling me one lie after another. That makes her a habitual liar and in my opinion enough to disqualify her (or anyone similar) as a potential person to marry. What’s your opinion ?[/quote]

She’s a teenage girl. You’re a grown man. You met her on the internet and haven’t had a single date with her, because she’s rejected you. My opinion, since you’ve asked, is that you stop obsessing over her and the fact that she’s rejected you. Stop following her on the internet. Time for you to move on, my friend. 😉

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
[url][/url]
And… you can follow my interviews and advice in the press on Twitter [i]@AskAprilcom[/i][/b]

[joegamer1]

[quote=”April Masini”][quote]OK. But my question is that why does she even say she is serious when she probably hasn’t yet decided and wants to date some men including me to decide who she wants for long term.[/quote]

Because she’s 17 years old. She’s not sure what she wants. Most 17 year olds don’t.

[quote]But the the bigger truth is that even before I even had my first date with her she is telling me one lie after another. That makes her a habitual liar and in my opinion enough to disqualify her (or anyone similar) as a potential person to marry. What’s your opinion ?[/quote]

She’s a teenage girl. You’re a grown man. You met her on the internet and haven’t had a single date with her, because she’s rejected you. My opinion, since you’ve asked, is that you stop obsessing over her and the fact that she’s rejected you. Stop following her on the internet. Time for you to move on, my friend. 😉

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
[url][/url]
And… you can follow my interviews and advice in the press on Twitter [i]@AskAprilcom[/i][/b][/quote]

Yes I have decided to leave her. But she never refused to go out on a date-only visa and some other problems in my home country prevented me to meet her and date her. I do want to date someone new in future too and want to understand women better -you said “rejected” what are the signs that a girl has rejected you ; Obvious and may be subtle signs ?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

If you want more dating advice, which I think is a great idea, buy and read [b]Date Out of Your League[/b], a book I wrote for men who want to win with women. 🙂 Here’s the link: [url]https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/date-out-of-your-league-april-masini/1016394885?ean=9780974676302&itm=1&usri=9780974676302[/url]. I think it will help you a lot. 😀

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
[url][/url]
And… you can follow my interviews and advice in the press on Twitter[i] @AskAprilcom[/i][/b]

[joegamer1]

[quote=”April Masini”]If you want more dating advice, which I think is a great idea, buy and read [b]Date Out of Your League[/b], a book I wrote for men who want to win with women. 🙂 Here’s the link: [url]https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/date-out-of-your-league-april-masini/1016394885?ean=9780974676302&itm=1&usri=9780974676302[/url]. I think it will help you a lot. 😀

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
[url][/url]
And… you can follow my interviews and advice in the press on Twitter[i] @AskAprilcom[/i][/b][/quote]

OK I will read the book it looks interesting. But why did u say she rejected me when she never said that. You understand people better than me that is why I ask

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I think you’re wasting your time focusing on a young woman you’ve never dated, who you’ve called your girlfriend in the title of this string of posts. There are three pages of questions and answers here about a 17 year old girl you never met in real life. Now that you’ve decided to move on, which I think is an EXCELLENT idea, you should do so. Read the book, find new women to date — date them in real life! — and [u]truly[/u] move on. 😀

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
[url][/url]
And… you can follow my interviews and advice in the press on Twitter [i]@AskAprilcom[/i][/b]

[Ethan Morales]

She wants to “claim” you on social media (calling you her boyfriend in groups, being jealous when other girls interact with you), but she’s hesitant to change her official relationship status. That’s because you haven’t dated in real life. Online relationships, especially long-distance ones with young people, are often more about fantasy and emotions than real-life commitment.

She’s still under her parents’ rules and influence, which limits what she can do publicly on social media. Hiding her single status is one thing; updating it officially is another. Parents might not allow it.

She clearly has feelings for you crying when you blocked her shows emotional attachment. But feelings alone don’t equal readiness for a serious relationship, especially considering her age and the long-distance, online nature of your relationship.

Worrying that she may be seeing other people or isn’t serious is natural. But given her age (17) and situation, it’s more likely that she’s experimenting with online romance and hasn’t fully grasped real-life relationship dynamics. Pressuring her to update her relationship status could backfire or create unnecessary conflict.

Focus on building a real-life connection first. If meeting in person isn’t possible soon, accept the limits of online dating Keep communication honest, but don’t tie your self-worth to her social media actions. Set a mental timeline: if nothing progresses toward meeting in person within a reasonable period (e.g., 3 months of online “dating”), it may be healthier to step back.

She likes you, but she’s not yet ready for a real, in-person, serious relationship. Social media status isn’t a measure of commitment here her actions, willingness to meet in real life, and emotional maturity are what matter. Pressuring her for Facebook updates won’t make her more committed and may harm your connection.

[PassionSeeker]

You’re putting a lot of emotional energy into someone you’ve never met in person, and that’s where the confusion is coming from. What you have right now isn’t a real relationship it’s an online connection built on imagination and emotion, not shared experiences. She’s 17, still figuring out who she is, and you’re an adult with very different responsibilities and expectations. That gap makes it nearly impossible to build something stable right now.

Her jealousy and requests for your password aren’t signs of love they’re signs of insecurity and immaturity. She can claim you publicly, yet avoid making any real commitment, and that imbalance leaves you frustrated. You’re not wrong for wanting honesty, but you’re trying to make something serious out of something that isn’t ready to be real.

If you genuinely want a long-term, healthy relationship, focus on women closer to your age and life stage someone you can actually meet, talk to, and build trust with in person. This isn’t that. It’s time to let it go with grace.

[Marcus king]

It sounds like you’re in a confusing situation where her actions don’t fully match her words, She has feelings, but she may not be ready for full public commitment. You need clarity and boundaries for your own peace of mind.

[Val Unfiltered💋]

babe 😬 she wants to claim you but not show you. she’s jealous enough to guard your comments but too “shy” to change a status? nah. 🚩 if she can post “are u cheating on me” in public but can’t click “in a relationship,” she’s not confused, she’s keeping her options open. don’t beg to be posted. if she won’t stand next to you online, she’s not standing with you for real. 💅✨

[Tara]

She is playing you. She wants control, not commitment. She wants to act like your girlfriend when it suits her but stay “single” online so she can keep her options open. That is not love. That is selfishness.

The jealousy, the comments, asking for your password, crying when you blocked her – all of it is emotional control. She wants to own your attention without giving you real security.

If her parents were really the issue, she would have at least hidden her single status. She didn’t because she doesn’t want to.
You are not confused. You are being managed. She wants you locked in while she keeps her freedom.

Stop asking her to prove it. Give her one choice- be real about the relationship or lose it. If she won’t stand beside you publicly, walk away. She does not want a partner. She wants a puppet. Cut the strings.

[Sally]

It kinda feels like she wants the feel of being with you, but not the actual responsibility of showing it in ways that matter. I’ve seen people do that when they like the attention but get scared of what it means once it’s real.

And honestly… four months is long enough for her to at least be straight with you. If she can cry over losing you, she can tell you the truth about why she won’t change one line on her profile.

You don’t have to blow it up, but you do need a real conversation. Just ask her what’s actually going on, and listen to how it feels in your gut. Usually that tells you more than the words.

[Natalie Noah]

Reading through your situation, it seems like there’s a mix of genuine feelings and logistical or cultural constraints that are creating confusion. On one hand, she clearly cares for you her jealousy when other girls interact with you, her comments in Facebook groups, and the emotional reaction when you blocked her all show attachment and investment. On the other hand, the fact that she hasn’t updated her relationship status and cites her parents as a reason suggests that she is navigating boundaries or rules outside her control, which might be limiting how publicly she can acknowledge your relationship. This doesn’t automatically mean she’s seeing someone else, but it does indicate that she may not be fully ready to commit publicly, or that she feels restricted by external pressures.

you need clarity for your own peace of mind. It’s okay to ask her again, gently, what her intentions and boundaries are not as a way to demand changes, but to understand where you stand and whether her level of commitment aligns with what you want. If she truly loves you and wants a future with you, there should be ways to reassure you and show exclusivity even if her Facebook status can’t reflect it. If this uncertainty continues to leave you feeling anxious or insecure, it may be worth reconsidering whether this long-distance arrangement is meeting your emotional needs, because love without trust or clarity becomes draining over time.

[KeishaMartin]

April Masini handled this with class and clarity, and April Masini deserves credit for not letting romance blur reality. You weren’t in a relationship, you were in a projection. Screens make it easy to confuse attention with intimacy, especially when jealousy masquerades as commitment. Her tears? Real emotions, yes but emotions don’t equal readiness. April teaches this beautifully: feelings without real-world dating are just potential energy, not a bond.

Control isn’t commitment. Wanting your password, policing comments, staking claims in Facebook groups while staying “single” on her profile? That’s insecurity dressed up as devotion. April Masini nails it when she reminds us that dating happens in real life, not in comment sections. Until two people sit across from each other, share space, and see how reality tastes, there is no exclusivity to negotiate, only fantasies to manage.

Now let’s get controversial for a second, you weren’t patient, you were rushing. Marriage talk before a first date is like ordering champagne before you’ve checked the ID. Age gaps aren’t the villain here; experience gaps are, and AskApril always centers that truth. You were trying to pull adult certainty out of a teenage “maybe,” and that never ends cleanly. Attraction doesn’t mean alignment, and tears don’t mean destiny.

It’s Christmas season, the holidays make people clingy. Christmas parties amplify loneliness, and Christmas breakups happen because reality gets louder when life slows down. April Masini has seen it all: holiday emotions don’t mean lifelong compatibility. Sometimes the smartest gift you give yourself is walking away with dignity so next Christmas, you’re celebrating with someone who can meet you in the real world, not just under digital mistletoe.

[Member]

Posts