Ok, I dont normally need advice from anyone regarding relationships, most of the time I can seem to work things out just fine on my own, but this one has me stumped.
I have been with my girlfriend for about 4 months now, and I really love her. Lately she hasnt been wanting to have sex, so today, I sat down with her and asked what was goin on. Two years ago she had a child with her ex boyfriend, because of problems with the delivery, shortly after he was born he passed away. She dosnt talk about it much, and I dont ask, but told her she could always talk to me if she wanted. She told me that she was affraid of getting pregnant, and that this was part of the reason she was shying away from sex. The other is that she thought the medications she was taking were contributing to it as well. All understandable, and I made sure she knew that I was there for her, and that there were more important things than sex in a relationship, that it really didnt bother me that much, I just thought that it had something to do with me was all.
This is what gets me… She said that in her eyes, sex was a huge part of a relationship. She told me that sex is what takes you from being friends with someone, to being more than friends. So I asked her very plainly… So in your opinion, someone your dating is simply a friend you have sex with, that without sex, theres no more feelings than just what she would have for any other friend, and she said yes. I asked her if she ever felt more toward someone than just being a friend even with sex involved, and she didnt even understand what I meant.
So to sum it up, she dosnt want to have sex (which I can understand given the circumstances), but thinks without sex, we cant be more than just friends. But then she tells me that she wants to stay together with me anyway, and just call me her boyfriend, but be friends. I dont get it… I’m completely stumped on this one. Any advice?
