"April Masini answers questions no one else can and tells you the truth that no one else will."

Have I missed my chance?

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  • #6672
    Km2014
    Member #372,051

    I was wondering if anyone here would please give me some advice? The scenario is as follows. There’s a girl who comes into my work several times a week. Each time she visits we talk and carry on a lengthy conversation. It’s gotten to the point were we address each other by first name and she’s even asked for my Facebook info. For months I’ve been telling myself that I’m going to ask her out but I always chicken out. The other day she came in and there was a guy with her. My heart sank in my chest and I filled with disappointment. He recognized me from were he’d been trying to get a job there. She replied I didn’t know you guys knew each other. I tried to slyly find out if they were dating. I stupidly asked if he was her brother since it is around the Holiday season. Her response was “We actually went to high school together” we continued talking for a bit and then she paid for both their meals and they went on there way. I guess my question is do you think I’ve waited too long and missed my opportunity or should I with a doubt ask her out the next time I see her? Thank you for your response and your help.

    #27695

    Ask her out! You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. 😉 Don’t let chickening out guide your life. Instead, decide that possible rejection is a price you’re willing to pay — if it happens — and success is what you’re going to get when you take chances because the upside is huge!

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    #27676
    Km2014
    Member #372,051

    Thank you for your reply April. I’ve made up my mind. I’m going to ask her out the next time I see her. Do you have any advice for getting the conversation headed in that direction?

    #27673

    I’m not sure how old you are — if you write back, be sure to let me know — but asking someone out on a date, [i]successfully[/i], has a lot to do with flirting, making her feel special and being the kind of guy she’d want to date. 😉 You can buy and read [b]Date Out of Your League[/b], a book I wrote for men who want to win with women, and that will give you lots of advice. 🙂 Here’s the link: [url]https://askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/date-out-of-your-league.html[/url]. If you have specific questions, let me know, and I’ll help you. 🙂

    [b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
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    #27647
    Km2014
    Member #372,051

    Hi April. Thank you for your help and assistance. I just turned 26 a few months ago. I’ll give you brief history on myself. I come from a very strict religious upbringing in which dating was frowned upon. I’ve also had issues with anxiety in the past (agoraphobia/panic attacks). While I have received professional treatment for anxiety unfortunately they didn’t cover dating… I’m just now getting to the point where I’m starting to feel awkwardly comfortable with putting myself out there. So maybe you can see my dilemma? I’m wanting to date but not really sure how to go about it? Couple all of that with general nerves and a history of anxiety and yikes!! 😮 I really appreciate the link to your book. I’ve ordered a copy and I’m eagerly awaiting its arrival. I’m sure I’ll have plenty of questions for you once I begin reading your book. I haven’t seen my crush lately but when I do. I’ll be sure to take that chance and hope for the best!!

    #27649

    I appreciate your background information — but don’t turn your history into excuses. 😉 Most people are nervous about dating, and most people have some anxiety about it — but you can’t let that stop you from having a great life. 😀 Read the book, and put it to work! I hope you have a wonderful new year with lots of dating opportunities and successes. 😉

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    #27630
    Km2014
    Member #372,051

    That is true April. I’m changing my mindset this year. My past will no longer be my future. I do have a follow up question. I haven’t seen my crush at all this week. I was wondering if it would be acceptable to send her a message over facebook (we are facebook friends) to ask if she’d like to grab lunch or something? I was thinking of saying something like ” Hello how are you? I really enjoy talking to when ever you come through. I was wondering if you’d like to have lunch sometime?” And then leave her my number. Or do you think I should just wait until I see her in person? The only issue with in person is that I won’t be at work for the few days. Thank you.

    #27612
    vkleinstu
    Member #372,070

    Send her the Facebook message, but don’t be too specific. Maybe send her something like this:

    “Hey, I haven’t seen you come in lately, and I was just thinking about you. I hope you’re doing well.” Keep it simple. This should draw her in unless she is otherwise occupied. Then when you see her in person you can ask her out. Just don’t shut down if she rejects you…

    #27600

    One of the most attractive assets a man has is his voice. 😉 Women love to hear a man’s voice, and if you ask her out on the phone or in person, then you have the opportunity to use that resource. You can definitely flirt with her on social media, and try to get her to like you that way, and if you don’t have a chance to see her over the next few weeks, then you can go back to social media to ask her out, but if you use your assets, you’ll have a lot better chance of getting a yes! 😎

    Did you get the book yet? It’s going to help you!

    [b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
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    #27509
    Km2014
    Member #372,051

    April please HELP!! This whole situation just took a turn for the worse. I’ve had five days off from work so I’ve had no chance to speak with my crush. When I returned today I found out that a female co-work had took it upon herself to speak to my crush in my absence. According to my co worker these are the words of my crush “she thinks I’m really cute and that she wished I would’ve asked her out myself. She also said that after seeing my age on facebook she thinks I’m too young for her. “She just turned 29 and I’m 26 but that’s irrelevant. How do I fix this mess? I never told anyone to speak to my crush. All of this is hear say and I don’t know if any of it’s true. I haven’t seen or spoken to my crush since the last time she came in with that other guy from high school. It’s not fair I never got the chance to speak to my crush or even tell her that I had a crush on her. I should’ve been the one who got to break the ice and leave the first impression. Is there any way to fix this? My mind says the next time I see her I should still take that chance and ask her out. I honestly don’t know what to do now????? I’m so lost????? Please help.

    #27494

    I’m sorry you feel lost — but, you’re not lost at all. 😉 You’ve just failed to ask this woman out, and now you’re feeling regretful. I think you’re mistaking regret for loss. 😳 I know you think there’s been a “sudden” turn for the worse, but the reality is that the ball’s been in your court for a long time, and you haven’t played it. When that happens it’s not a matter of if she’s going to move on, but when. You have to stop coming up with excuses and start taking actions. 😉

    I recommended you buy [b]Date Out of Your League[/b], which will help you — did you get the book? If so, read it! 🙂 If not, you should get it right now! [url]https://askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/date-out-of-your-league.html[/url]. It’s only $8.99 and it’s an automatic download. No more excuses. 😉 It will help you if you take the advice in it. 😀

    You also wrote about a week ago that you were going to send her a message on social media. Did you do that? Flirting with her will get her interested. 😉 If you haven’t done that, then that’s a second thing you can do.

    And I know I’ve recommended that you ask her out, after you first wrote here — but your excuse that you had no work for five days doesn’t preclude you from getting her number and calling her to ask her out. 😉 It’s time to take some action, put the excuses away and start moving forward. And since it’s a new year, make this your resolution. That’s three things for you to do! 🙂 Happy 2015 — and I hope you’ll get to work 😎

    [b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
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    #27497
    Km2014
    Member #372,051

    Hi April I did you receive your book and I have begun reading it. I sent her message on Facebook it was nothing flirtatious just a simple “hello how are you?” I don’t believe that she has read it or been online for that matter there’s been no new updates on here page. I’m just gonna hit the request her number on button and send her another message.

    #27498
    Km2014
    Member #372,051

    Ok so I just sent a request on facebook asking for her number. I also sent her a pm “Hey Sarah how are you I haven’t seen you around lately? I hope all is well. Honestly I really enjoy our conversations together. I was wondering if you would like to have lunch sometime? Here’s my number hope to hear from you”. I included my number with the message.

    #27501

    I think it’s great that you took the step to buy [b]Date Out of Your League[/b], [url]https://askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/date-out-of-your-league.html[/url], and that you started reading it — but because you’ve got so much going on in your life, it would be a great investment to sit down and read the [i]whole[/i] book — especially because you seem to have so many questions. 😉 I really think it will help you to do this.

    Relationships require work, and you will get out of them as much as you put into them. I recommended you do three things: 1) Read the book, 2) Flirt with her, and 3) Ask her out on a date.

    Make a list, and cross them off as you do them. I think that will help you a lot. I appreciate your coming to me for advice, but I can only help you as much as you’ll take the advice. If you don’t take it, and keep coming back to me for more, we’re both just spinning our wheels. 🙂 I know you’re feeling a little bit panicked because you feel that you’re not getting what you want and you’ve made some mistakes you’d like to correct, but this is actually a great opportunity for you to change your behavior from here on in — whether it’s with this woman or any future woman you’re interested in. 😀

    [b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
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    And… you can follow my interviews and advice in the press on Twitter [i]@AskAprilcom[/i][/b]

    #27488
    Km2014
    Member #372,051

    Thank you for all of your help April. I do sincerely appreciate you taking the time and having patience with me. I think I’ll count this as an opportunity lost and a learning experience. I haven’t seen or heard from her in weeks no reply to my messages on social media either. Your book has been helpful it made me think maybe I hadn’t asked her out because maybe she wasn’t really what I wanted. The questions about describing your dream girl really made me do some thinking. I have been following the suggestions I’ve been saying hi to EVERY WOMAN I encounter. I’ve even begun changing out my wardrobe and actively seeking opportunities to engage with women. On a more positive note or at least I think it’s positive I’m not really sure. A girl that I asked on date a few months back has suddenly invited me to go out for drinks with her and her girl friends I declined at first because I’m not sure what her motive or intentions are. I told her I had nothing to wear probably not the best idea but, yeah we’ve made plans to go shopping together and then hit up the dance club. I’m not sure what to make of the situation a few months back she rejected me and now she wants me to go out to the club with her and her girlfriends???? IDK maybe I’m just paranoid and self sabotaging lol.

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