[lostcause]

I’ve pushed and I’ve pushed and I’ve pushed. But now I believe i’ve pushed too far. You see, my boyfriend and I have been together FOUR years. We have a 1 year old together, we’ve lived together the past 3 years, we have cars purchased in both of our names, we’ve applied for home loans together, but the minute i suggest marriage it’s like he has ants in his pants and can’t sit still. He finds any reason at all to explain away marriage. Money, time, family issues, anything and everything will work as long as it gets him away from the convo. He has told me before he wants me and only me for the rest of his life and he tells me every day all day long that he loves me and how beautiful I am and how extremely good I am to him and our daughter. So I don’t understand. What is it about a wedding or marriage that totally freaks him out?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Clearly, this is something that has to do with his past. 😕 Since he’s already committed to you in terms of car loans and home loans and you’ve decided to have a baby together, he doesn’t have problems with that type of commitment — or with living together for three years after dating for one year. He knows how to commit when he wants to. It really sounds like he has a specific issue that is making him want to avoid marriage.

Decide if marriage is a deal breaker for YOU or not instead of pushing him. If it is, then you know what you have to do. If it isn’t a deal breaker, then consider that you’ve already made a commitment to him and he’s not interested in marriage.

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