[quebebran]

My boyfriend is 23 years old and he lets his parents treat him like he is still a child. If his parents tell him to do something he immediately does it with no questions asked. This really gets on my nerves. My parents know better than to tell me to do something. I really wish he would respect his own self more and not let people walk all over him. He needs to let his parents know that only he is the boss of himself and they have no control over him anymore. What should I do to change him? What can I say to him? Would you stay with your partner if they let people treat them like they were still a child?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You can’t change him. You picked a guy who let’s his parents boss him around. Ball’s in your court on this one. If you don’t like this about him, move on and find a man who stands on his own two feet. And if you’re not sure — imagine what will happen if you get married and have children. Instead of being loyal to you, first and foremost, as is required to make a relationship work in marriage, he’s going to be putting you second, at best, and possible third or fourth, behind his parents and your children. I don’t think it’s a good set up for a future together. Sorry. 🙁

[Trixie Ann]

For me, you can’t change him, he has to want that for himself. The only thing you can do is tell him honestly how it makes you feel and how it affects your respect and attraction. If he’s comfortable being controlled and you’re not okay with that dynamic, it’s a compatibility issue. Decide if you can accept him as he is. Don’t stay hoping he’ll become someone else.

[Member]

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