[alana_asks34]

I have been with my boyfriend almost five years. He tells me repeatedly that we have a future together talks about moving in, marriage someday but there’s one thing that keeps chipping away at my confidence: he never brings me around his child. He has sole-ish parenting time and says he loves the time he spends with their kid, and he also loves our time together. But when I ask about meeting the child, the answer is always delayed or vague.
He claims the child’s mother doesn’t want the child around new partners and that she’s protective — which I understand — but the silence makes me uneasy. If he truly intends to build a life with me, wouldn’t he want me to slowly become part of that child’s life (in appropriate, respectful ways)? I’ve tried asking gently a few times — suggesting low-pressure, supervised meetups or family-friendly outings — but he deflects and says it’s “too complicated” or “not the right time.” Those answers leave me feeling like I’m being kept at arm’s length, as if our relationship is okay for now but not something he’s ready to fully integrate into his family world.
I’m torn: I want to respect custody boundaries and not push in a way that harms the kid or the co-parenting arrangement. At the same time I worry he may not be serious about a future if he won’t even take small, reasonable steps to include me. Is it fair to expect gradual inclusion if we’re building toward commitment? Am I wrong to feel insecure? What are reasonable, non-confrontational ways to bring this up so I can get a clear sense of his intentions — or decide whether I should move on?

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