My boyfriend is a wonderful, caring man, but he completely shuts down when I try to discuss our future together – things like moving in, marriage, or starting a family. He admits that he experienced a very traumatic breakup in the past, where he was left heartbroken after years of planning a life with someone who then abruptly left him. He claims he can’t emotionally bring himself to plan for a distant future again because he’s terrified of that pain being repeated.
I understand his past trauma and want to be patient, but I also have my own timeline and desires for my life. His inability to even conceptualize a future with me makes me feel uncertain about our longevity and whether he truly sees a long-term commitment. I feel like I’m stuck in limbo, waiting for him to heal, but I don’t know how long I can wait without feeling like I’m wasting my own time. How do I reassure him enough to overcome his fear, or is this an insurmountable obstacle?
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