Hi April,
I writing to get advice my my boyfriend. We have been together since 2010. Seperated twice because he suddenly is confused. Hes not one to really talk about what hes feeling. Always has kept things to himself. We are both in our 30’s and have had two marriages. He has in the past said he never wanted to get married again. He lives with his parents because they are older and somewhat elderly. He makes good money and has a good job. He is in no way a freeloader. Hes very straight forward. Says usually whats on his mind, if asked. I have never caught him in a lie, and everyone that knows him says the same. He isnt one that is real intrested in sex, he has a low sex drive and I dont think cheating would be a problem. Again everyone agrees with this too. He is somewhat different.
His schedule is something like this. He gets ready for work about 1pm works til 1am, monday thru friday, goes to the gym for roughly an hour then home to sleep. Repeats 5 days a week. Sat, he usually is free, does spend alot of time at home. Ocassionaly goes to a sports bar with his best friend. And trust me you can go in and he will be there with his buddy, no girls.
He’s always honest telling me where he is if I ask, doesnt seem to be any secrets. He was texting every day all day, seeing me on friday nights, sat and sundays but recently said he doesnt want to text me because of a certain time or see me because of a certain day. That sometimes he just wants to stay home which I can understand. Texting is just hard cause im use to hearing from him all day everyday. Now he text about every other day and its short because of his schedule. During all of this he asked for space, said theres nobody else he loves me with all of his heart just wanted some him time.
I freaked out and made things worse. I know this. I was very jealous because he went with his friend sometimes without asking me. I should realize he tries to make room for me but sometimes may just need to get away. With trying to understand how hes’ feeling, how do I get over how I feel always wanting him? I really do think he loves me but for some reason is unable to commit. And I think after the thing of him not going with his friend he felt controlled which brought back bad memories with his ex. He acutally said that. His parents even told me to be patient with him. He’s damaged goods lol and Im jealous and I guess insecure? What do you think of all of this? Thanks sorry so long.
Ps We are together its just things arent as they were. Which was what made him felt pressured and controlled.
