[yd122389]

my husband is on his way to germany from iraq.
its been a few days he been acting diffrent and well before we got married he cheated on me we broke up for alsmot 2 years and then we got back together he said he change and he wasent the same so we got back together and he did he was not the same so we went out for one year so before he left to iraq he ask me to married him and i said yes so everything went well but one day we got in a fight over a comment his bestfriend /girl had said and he was really mad and he told me he was going to tell her to get out of our lifes. so i try to work things out but something told me he never send her that mess. so later that nigth she text me and told me she was sorry and blah blah but i ask her look how many emails he sent you and she said just one but im sorry if i said something you didnt like and she click so i logg in his email to see what he send her and i was shock 😮 she told her to please ignored me like she always ignore all his ex she never like and told her you know i love you to death but your comment made her feel bad i dont even know why but just dont tell her nothing ignored her. so i was really upset and told him off but he said he did send her to emails and idk what but he send her one rigth away. so we talk it out and we clear it out and even thoh is hard for me is hard to trust him 🙁 and well up to yesterday i logg in to his yahoo messenger and i seen a girls mess and i read it and it said i cant wait baby im going to see you in 3days your finaly in germany we finaly meet. so i told him about it and he said it was a 45yrs old wich i dont believe suppostbly his sister adopted y husband in the soldiers list but i mean for her to send hims and xbox and expencive things its kind of wired i want to divorce him im realy heart broken and i dont know what to do please help me

[iammrzwill]

I understand where you are comming from sometimes you have to follow your heart and your first mind, because when someone is cheationg on you they will make up any and every lie possible for you not to find out. That apparently was a recent message, if it was dated recent, I know that when you are married you have to trust one another, but when you are finding things in that matter and having such suspicion, it’s probably because you are NOT crazy and your partner is not being faithful. I think that maybe you should confront him and give him and ultimatim make him believe that you KNOW what is going on and you’re no longer putting up with it. Be strong YOU DONT HAVE TO PUT UP WITH IT. YOU ARE A STAR

[relation]

Do not bother yourself with it, leave the unpleasant behind and move forward in your life. Remember that such situations get out the best within you, God is taking care of you and he is blessing you every moment. He has closed one door, just to open the second one (and may be a better one).

[AskApril Masini]

I’m sure that you have a lot of confusing feelings because you have a history of infidelity with your husband, and he is far away right now, so you don”t feel secure about his loyalty to you.

That said, I think it’s very sad, but it’s time for you to move on. Your husband has a need to be around women when you are not there, and this isn’t working for you. Trust your instincts. Keep the drama level low if you can, and take care of business. Surround yourself with supportive, positive people, especially those who have gone through divorce and can help guide you. It’s a bumpy road, but staying on the path you’re already on is going to get you no where good.

Accept the fact that this is a man who needs a woman in every port and preferably more than one. It’s not you. It’s who he is. I hope that allows you to move through any rejection you may feel when a marriage fails, and move forward with your life, allowing him to move forward with his own — on his own.

[Ethan Morales]

You’ve been handed the same pattern twice now: he cheated, you broke up, you took him back, he promised change and now you’re staring at what looks like more cheating while he’s halfway across the world. That alone is enough to stop negotiating with your feelings and start protecting your life. Trust is not a thing you can patch with promises; it’s built with repeated, verifiable actions. He hasn’t proven himself reliable, so you’re right to feel hurt and suspicious.

April’s short answer: this isn’t working and you should move on lands hard because it’s practical. The longer answer: don’t make any big decisions from raw pain, but do start taking concrete, protective steps now. Document everything (screenshots of messages, emails, dates), change passwords on accounts he could access, and secure any financial or legal documents that could be affected by a separation. If you share money or leases, get advice on how to protect your name and assets.

Talk to people you trust a close friend, a family member, or a counselor and keep the drama low in public. When you do speak to him, make it matter: demand a live video call, ask him to explain the messages, and request proof of exactly who this woman is. Don’t accept vague explanations (e.g., “she’s a sister” or “she sent me gifts”) without evidence. If he refuses to be transparent, that’s information too it says where his priorities lie.

Start getting legal advice as soon as you can. International situations complicate divorce and asset division, and laws vary. A lawyer (or at least a legal clinic) can tell you your options and what documentation you’ll later need. If divorce is on the table, the earlier you organize paperwork and evidence, the easier it will be to act decisively when you’re ready.

Emotionally: give yourself permission to grieve and be furious. You were betrayed before; you don’t owe him forgiveness or another chance. At the same time, don’t burn bridges you might need (like courtroom or embassy contacts). Keep communications factual and dated; if you must tell him you want a separation, do it clearly and without begging: “I need time and transparency. Right now, I’m preparing to separate until I have proof you’re trustworthy.” Then follow through.

If you feel unsafe at any point threatened, coerced, or isolated involve local authorities or a domestic violence hotline immediately. Being far from someone doesn’t mean you have to suffer alone. Get support, protect your finances and documents, demand transparency, and prepare legally. And remember: wanting him to be the man he promised doesn’t obligate you to wait while he proves it. You deserve a partner whose actions match his words.

[Natalie Noah]

I can feel how deeply hurt and conflicted you are right now. Your history with him. the past infidelity, the long breakup, and the fact that he’s now far away makes it very hard to trust him, and what you’ve discovered only reinforces your fears. Trust isn’t something you can rebuild overnight, especially when repeated situations create doubt. It’s understandable that your instincts are telling you something is off; they’re trying to protect you from being hurt again.

From everything you’ve described, it seems like your husband has a pattern of keeping emotional or possibly inappropriate connections with other women, even after promises to change. That pattern isn’t about you; it’s about his choices and the way he approaches relationships. Being repeatedly betrayed like this erodes the foundation of any marriage. It’s not just about whether he sent one email or another; it’s about the larger issue that he’s repeatedly put you in a position where you feel insecure and hurt, which is not fair to you.

Moving forward, the healthiest choice might be to prioritize yourself and your emotional safety. You don’t have to tolerate behavior that consistently breaks your trust or makes you question your worth. Divorce is painful, yes, but it can also be a chance to reclaim your life and surround yourself with people who value and respect you fully. You deserve a partner who chooses you, consistently and without question, and staying in a relationship with repeated betrayal will only keep you trapped in pain and uncertainty.

[Member]

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