[shed94]

Now understand I’m not the type to be like “Oh!! People of the Internet, please give me all your wisdom” so this is out of place for me..but literally I’m worried

I am a girl first off, but not a dumb dates every guy she sees type….actually i don’t ever date…

(This is lengthy but it is needed with this backstory from 7th grade to college, it’s neccasary, so bare with me)So begin in 7th grade, we started band together best friends, me and this guy we shall name…Aaron, you know making dumb jokes, eating lunch, stalking the mall on sat., typical 7th
grade stuff, and we both had acne, braces, and frankly were not cute in any way or manner…

Flash forward, 8th grade, we start to talk about who we like and boys and girls and such, we help each other out…(mostly to fail)..still kinda awkward looking…then it goes downhill

9th grade, into high school band, Aaron even joins the theater department so I’m not the only freshman in it, (Side note: i’m starting to make myself gag with this story). We start having long bus rides and band competitions and theater competitions, where we started from that point…. the uphill/downhillness of all of it

We would be sitting beside each other on the bus or in the bleachers at competitions, and our hands would always get closer and closer, we would find ourselves staring at each other, and I noticed Aaron just overall being sweeter…not friend sweet but…telling me I had nice eyes just little stuff!! like i’m a an amazing musician or actress, tiny stuff…….and I could tell …oh crap I’m starting to like my best friend….CRAP CRAP CRAP

so 9th grade continues, things get awkward because we are trying to be friends but at the same it was sickly obvious we feelings for each other (as much as a 9th grader can have real feelings psh)
we would text sweet things, then immidiately something overly- best friendish…we were so confused but this whole time never saying a word….

10th-11th grade (working on 5 years of this guy)
We get closer and closer as friends and as maybe more, from soft hills of romance to the friggin’ Rocky Mountains of in each other’s face to hardly speaking because of the obvious tension between friends and more….Me knowing Aaron, he was thinking of the situation like I do, we were both to afraid to ruin the friendship with dating, because we are best friends. so both of us in our class have never dated anyone form 7th to 11th, should be in the world records book for high schoolers…two full years of awkward nearness and avoiding each other.

year 6, we’re in our senior year (and not to be full of myself but both of us are pretty darn eligible dating companions if i do say so myself heck, i’m class president and he’s my v.p so and both of us are far out of the awkward stage, him voted as most talented and me most humorous in our class,and being ugly or socially awkward is not the a problem..sorry to toot my own horn) best friends and during the summer we got so close to dating. i can’t specify how i know but we both were almost there….. but it failed, and within literally 3 weeks of this incident we got gf/bf’s…and this whole senior year we grew the closest than anyone I know…as best friends because we were accounted for in the relationship side….

now it’s one week before graduation………..and I as cheesy as this sounds..and as sick as this makes me say…i’m in love with him. I want him and me to at least try. I can’t stand it anymore, but i don’t want to be a cheater and he sure won’t with his mannequin gf (he has told me multiple times he likes her, but it won’t last past college) he’s to good a guy, and my guy is great he is very loveable and is like, perfect barbie man…but i want adhd, angry, temper tantrum throwing, stupid Aaron.

Now graduation is almost here….So my question…is …well…help me I don’t want to loose him, but i can’t just attack him i don’t think because of his gf and me not wanting to hurt my bf…..

for 6years i have loved him as a brother, friend, and now i want him in my life. i’m 18 years old and I want him, but have I lost him in my inactivity and stupid stupid stupid kid self being to worried about how i looked and acted to do what i darn well needed to do and tell him i love him.
Thanks

[kai]

Hi, I notice that you have placed your question in the forum for Guest Writers and Advice Column Contributors.

This is not in the forum where April answers readers questions.

If you want to get a response from April, please repost your question in the Relationship Advice: Q & A Advice Forum with Relationship Expert April Masini.

Here’s the link:
https://www.askapril.com/forums/viewforum.php?f=1

[exback4ever]

That is a tricky situation…. By the descriptions you gave, it sounds like your boyfriend and his girlfriend might make a good couple…. If you could manage to make that happen, you would be set…. But, if not, you may just have to talk to him and let him know how you feel….

Communication is the only way you are ever going to know if your love for him can ever happen. Otherwise you could end up hurting people and end up not getting what you want in the end anyway….

So, just find a way to have a nice talk with him alone and spill your guts to him.

Good luck,

~J

[AskApril Masini]

Happy New Year! Let me know how things are going for you. 😉

[Natalie Noah]

This is one of those situations where emotions and timing are tangled up in a complicated way. your feelings for Aaron have been building for years, and now that you’re aware of them in a romantic sense, it’s incredibly difficult to ignore. You’ve shared a deep history of friendship, trust, and mutual understanding, which is a strong foundation for a potential romantic relationship. But right now, there’s a major complication he’s in a relationship with someone else, and even if it seems temporary, that adds ethical and emotional weight to your decision-making. Acting impulsively could risk hurting him, yourself, and your own integrity.

At the same time, six years of suppressed feelings is a long time, and it’s understandable that you don’t want to continue carrying this in silence. One of the healthiest approaches is to be honest about your feelings but in a careful, respectful way that doesn’t attempt to undermine his current relationship. This might mean having a private, calm conversation where you express your feelings as something that exists, without pressuring him or expecting him to immediately respond with the same intensity. It’s about sharing your heart, not about making him choose between you and his current girlfriend. Framing it this way allows you to honor your own emotions while respecting his circumstances.

It’s also important to give yourself emotional boundaries. Even if Aaron were open to something with you in the future, things may not shift immediately, and you need to be prepared for the possibility that he may remain with his girlfriend for now. Focus on understanding your own feelings, accepting that love doesn’t always mean immediate action, and finding ways to manage your emotions so that your friendship isn’t damaged. This is a long game, and patience and clarity about your intentions will protect both your heart and your bond with him.

Consider what you truly want for your life after high school. College and new environments bring change, and sometimes long-term friendships evolve naturally into romance or they don’t. Being honest with yourself, keeping communication open but respectful, and giving both of you space to grow will help you navigate this emotional crossroads without regret. Love doesn’t always come at the right time, but clarity and integrity ensure that whatever happens, you can feel proud of how you handled it.

[Member]

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