[dirt99]

My ex mandy left me 4 months ago . She says she dosent feel the same about me anymore . It was do to me being needy and insucure and not saving my money and getting better job . And she says that was some of it but can I make her love me again . We have a child togather 6 years old and its killing me that she don’t think it can be fixed . I keep trying to provoke her to try again forvhis wake but me begging isnt helping . I have got new job and going to make more money and quit doing things that tore us a part . Communication was also bad between us . I know I can fix this but how do I do that with out pushing her away for good . She still talks to me .

[April Masini, your AskApril]

When did you get your new job?

How have you saved money? And how long have you been saving money?

What other things tore you apart?

[dirt99]

Just got job today . Had job whole time togaher but didn’t pay a lot . We never had money to get married were engage to 5 years. We argued a little . We were stuck in apt for three years and she was young when she got pregnant.. we never once broke up when we where togahter . Just never went anywhere financaly . Always told here I loved her never cheated on each other.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

How old are you both?

[dirt99]

I’m 28 she’s 25 .

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like your taking control of your life, financially, is going to help a lot. Women — especially one with a six year old child — want to feel financially secure, and it’s great that you got a better job and can start building towards the things you want as a family — whether it’s a wedding, a house, a college fund for your daughter, etc.

When you start doing that — and she starts seeing the result, she’s going to feel like you’re making changes.

You also mentioned communication problems in the relationship, so you should identify and then work on them, the same way you’re doing with your financial problems. I know that this will be hard work for you, but it sounds like the pay off — your family and daughter — are worth the effort.

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[dirt99]

If she says she o feel the same about me will she love me again.?I feel I’m runnig out of time .She was 17 when she got pregnant and told me she wasent looking for anybody . She says we grew apart too. And she says she dosent miss me or out life togather. Why would she say that we must of had some sort of connection if she stayed that long . She still isn’t dating anyone yet but I know men are after her . Is being a really good dad and letting her go out and party gonna help me win her back . My son deserves me to win her back,. I afraid she isn’t gonna want me back . I never hit or verbely abused her . Always told her I loved her . And the night before she left me she told me she loved me and she said she meant it. And than the next day after thinnking for a good while she decided to het her own apartment . She also thinks I have to watch my son on her weekends to have him while she’s working . I

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like she isn’t really interested in being in a couple with you right now. I understand that you think being a good dad means winning her back, and if you can, then that’s great. But you can’t make her want to be with you by waving a wand — you can just be your best self, and continue to try and woo her. Showing her you’re a better man than the competition you’re going to have, is in order. 😉

As for her asking you to take care of your son on weekends so she can work, that seems like a good idea. I’m not seeing a down side to that. You get to be with your son, and she gets to work. It sounds like you’re co-parenting and cooperating when you’re agreeing to this.

Whether or not she goes out and parties or dates has nothing to do with being a good dad. I know it’s unpleasant for you to think about her seeing other men, but you’re not a couple any more, and you’re both free to date others. If she is dating other men, it’s much better for your son for you to take care of him while she is out. He doesn’t need to be subjected to that, and while it’s distasteful to you for her to be partying, the best thing you can do is to shield your son from that behavior.

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[dirt99]

She is sad my son has to go threw this . I also went sky diving couple sun ago and she asked with who I said my eh o going with ?buddie rdan ,cory and a friend I texted her than she texed back a freind what do u have a girl or somthing u don’t want me to know about ? Is she jelious?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

She probably is jealous and curious. Just because she doesn’t want to be with you doesn’t mean she wants you to be with someone else. I know that sounds complicated, but it’s more often an issue in break ups than not.

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[dirt99]

Is it really possible to win her back after texting her for 5 months to try to get her back ? Waht do I need to do if I have a can have a chance again … I want this for my son so bad help me please

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I told you last month what I’m going to tell you again: It really doesn’t sound like she wants to get back together with you right now. I know you want this, but she doesn’t. It takes two people to get together, but one to walk away. 🙁

Since you have a child together, you’re in this for the long haul — whether you’re not together as a couple, but co-parent your son, or whether at some point she becomes interested in you again.

Remember that the best strategy is to live well and be successful and healthy — she’ll find you more attractive if you are, and if she doesn’t, someone else will.

I’m sorry this is hard for you.

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[Jay Cee]

Show her that you’ve changed, and that you have now a better plans for your future together and also for your child. Maybe you should double your effort especially making a living, so you can be financial stable. Once she sees your effort and the result, she might back to you. This is also for your own good and for your family.

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