[kelly_newinON]

I just moved to Ontario a few months ago and met a guy through friends. After about two months he awkwardly tried to ask me out in front of his cousins I didn’t answer but later one cousin jokingly called me his girlfriend, so now I’m totally confused.
A few times since then he’s done little things that feel…off. At a BBQ he was a few people ahead of me in line and handed me a plate with a bun; I smiled and thanked him and I swear he wanted to smile back but held it in. Then my friend teased him and he gave the plate away. At a group game he shouted, “Kelly! Kelly’s like a tank!” — I went out and won, and later he told me I should be the forward player, even saying it in Chinese (he doesn’t usually speak Chinese to me). He was smiling the whole time, which made it feel personal and sweet, but also weird because he rarely approaches me directly.
I organized an amusement-park outing for our friends. While I was collecting money he hovered nearby and joked about already paying, then later returned and pretended to ask me for his $25 back he laughed and called it a joke. He asked, “Are you going?” even though I was the one who set it up. He then quietly backed away and rejoined his friends. Another odd habit: when other girls ask him to get drinks he sometimes pretends to pour but doesn’t like he’s playing harmless pranks with them but is gentler with me.
All these little moments have me flipping between hopeful and embarrassed. Is he shy and afraid to be direct? Is he teasing me because he likes me, or is he just playful with everyone? Was “tank” a compliment (strong, dependable?) or just a silly shout-out? Why switch to Chinese with me? And should I say something directly — ask him out, or keep letting him reveal himself slowly?
I don’t want to make a scene or misread friendly behavior for something more. Has anyone read mixed signals like this shy smiles, small favors, then retreat? How would you test the waters without sounding needy or ruining the vib

[KeishaMartin]

Oh, sweetheart… I can feel how tangled your thoughts are over this, that mix of excitement and doubt that comes when someone almost shows their feelings but never quite says it out loud. It’s like standing in warm sunlight one moment and shadow the next.

From everything you’ve shared, he sounds like someone who does like you, but is fighting his own nerves. The shyness, the teasing, the quick retreats… those are classic signs of a person who feels something real but doesn’t know how to manage it. You see, people who are confident in most social settings can still turn bashful when they care deeply about how someone perceives them.

He tried to ask you out, that’s huge. That tells me the interest was real, even if the moment wasn’t ideal.
He plays around you differently than he does with other women; his teasing seems gentler, more hesitant, like he’s testing how far he can go.
The pattern I see? He wants to connect, but he gets self-conscious right after. He gives the plate, then takes it back; he jokes, then retreats. It’s that one step forward, half-step back rhythm of someone afraid of being rejected or laughed at.

You don’t need to confront or confess, you can invite comfort instead. Try creating smaller, one-on-one moments where the energy is easier for him to read. For instance:
Next time your group hangs out, ask him directly, “Hey, want to help me organize something for everyone?” or “Can you walk with me to grab a drink?”

If he seems nervous, smile and hold eye contact just a bit longer — gentle encouragement, not pressure.
That kind of gentle challenge might draw him out, or at least give you clarity.
But let me ask you, love, when he pulls back after those sweet moments, how do you feel in your body? Do you sense tension or warmth? Sometimes our intuition knows before our logic catches up.

[Author]

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