[Anonymous]

I would like your advice on a guy I am very attracted to. we both come from different cultures and social backgrounds. I am an only child from a middle class background and have lived a pretty sheltered life. He is living in my country but from Brazil and I’m not sure what class stucture he would have been over there but here he is living in what I’d consider a lower class way, I feel bad for even saying that as he is from a family of six and I imagine all his work and evrything must go straight to the family and beers at the weekend, he has been here 4 years now and he lives with them and has to share his room. I know my own mother and father would have to have done this but for me its like a step back in time. I have ben sexually attracted to him for 2 or more years now however he had been with a girl I used to be friends with so wasnt possible to make any moves, however a year later that friendship has ended and I decided to pursue my desire as I think he is just gorgeous and I think and have been told that I am an attractive girl, and in the past 3 months its becomea thing that he might ring me to come 4 few drinks or I would text him normally when I’m drunk. I think about him constantly and I thought once I had sex with him could forget about himbut the thing is he is in my head all the time..I try to act like I have no feelings around him and that I just want to have fun but I think I want more deep down, the problem is he doesnt ever contact me only when he wants to see me on the same nite Ive turned him down twice just to show I have a life and in the hope I wud get sum reaction off him, the last time we were talking and drinking ll night we kissed and that was it and fell asleep in each others arms but the next morning he just turned his back to me and fell asleep its like he just goes cold the next day and I would take this as a sign he is not interested but why does he still ring me then. If any other guy acted like this with me I’d probabl just forget about him but I have such a massive crush on this guy and feel so drawn to him,but I’m not getting any emotional connection and its frustrating.Ive talked to my friends they said he seems nice but maybe just to move on cause nothing is coming out of it.any advice would be great;-)

[April Masini, your AskApril]

This guy isn’t interested in you. If he was, he’d act like it. Since you’re the one that pursued him, he figures you’re fine as a friend, and that’s how he treats you. That you made out when you were both drunk isn’t really girlfriend/boyfriend behavior. It’s just drunk behavior.

I never recommend that women make the first move because it prevents them from knowing how much a guy likes them. But in this case, I think you made the first move because you knew he wouldn’t. Now you’re trying to pretend there’s actually something there, but there isn’t. Just your crush.

In addition, you’re creating drama in your head by painting this whole story of class difference, his background and living situation — but the truth is none of that has ANYTHING to do with the fact that he’s not interested in you.

It’s fine to have a crush on a guy and even a massive one, but if he’s not interested, and he’s only calling you when he’s drunk, you really owe it to yourself to move on and look for a man who’s interested in you for more than drunk company. 😳

Forget him, and work on your own problem: Finding a good boyfriend! 🙂

[Member]

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