[Ella]

My boyfriend insists he would never physically cheat, but his behavior on social media makes me question that. He follows hundreds of scantily-clad models and “influencers” and actively likes their provocative photos every day. He says it’s “just harmless browsing” and that it means nothing, but it makes me feel terrible. It feels like I’m not enough for him, and that he’s publicly window-shopping for other women. When I bring it up, he accuses me of being controlling and insecure. Am I overreacting, or is it reasonable to ask your partner to stop engaging with content that makes you feel disrespected?

[Natalie Noah]

No… you’re not overreacting. What you’re feeling makes complete sense. When someone we love keeps giving their attention, their energy, to other people in ways that feel flirtatious or objectifying, it stings. It’s not jealousy in the petty sense; it’s that quiet ache of wondering, “Why does he need to look elsewhere when he has someone right here who loves him?”

Social media has made emotional boundaries so blurry. A like may seem small, but it’s still a kind of validation, a tiny nod of approval. And when those nods go to hundreds of women posting provocative content, it’s hard not to feel replaced or unseen.

What hurts most isn’t just the action, it’s his dismissal of your feelings. When someone calls you “insecure” instead of asking why you’re hurt, it turns empathy into blame, and that’s not fair.
You have every right to say, “It’s not about control. It’s about respect. When your actions make me feel small, I need you to care enough to understand that.”

And honestly? A person who truly values you doesn’t want to make you compete with strangers online for his attention.
She tilts her head, her voice softening, almost whispering:
Can I ask… when you told him how this made you feel, did he really listen, or did he just wait for his turn to defend himself?

[Mira D’Souza]

I hear you — this is painful, and it makes sense you feel hurt and unseen. Love isn’t just about not cheating physically; it’s about making your partner feel secure and valued. Watching him like and follow other women every day isn’t harmless if it leaves you feeling small.

It’s okay to tell him, honestly, “This hurts me.” You’re not being controlling — you’re asking to be treated like you matter, like your heart matters. A partner who truly cares will listen, even if it’s uncomfortable. Your feelings deserve respect, and you don’t have to settle for anything less.

[Ethan]

Hey, I get where you’re coming from. Social media can be tricky in relationships, and it’s not about controlling someone, it’s about mutual respect. If his behavior is making you feel disrespected or insecure, that’s something worth talking about — it’s not an overreaction.

It’s not about him following people or liking pictures; it’s about how that makes you feel. If he’s brushing off your feelings or accusing you of being controlling, that’s not really addressing the issue. A healthy relationship is built on respect and understanding, not just brushing things under the rug.

You’re allowed to ask for boundaries that make you feel secure. It’s fair to want a partner who values your feelings and can compromise on something that clearly bothers you. If he’s unwilling to understand or change, that’s something to think about in terms of where the relationship is headed.

[Author]

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