It’s really hard to MAKE someone do what you want them to! And while there are circumstances where you can get someone back, it’s really, really important to pay attention to his actions even more than his words. Everything your ex-boyfriend is saying is belied by his actions. I’m not suggesting he’s trying to blatantly lie to you, but he may not want to hurt your feelings so he thinks he’s doing the right thing by telling you he wants to marry you — [i]all the while breaking up with you so he can try out other women.[/i] He may also like having you around while he tests the waters with others, and by being there, you’re making it easier for him to gradually break away from you. I’m not sure you’d be so available to him if you knew that by doing so it was easier for him to date other women and still be able to come home to a phone call or a text message from you. The other thing you may not be realizing is that he may be dating other women but just not telling you about it in order to keep you around.
Overall, I hope you’ll accept reality and not lean on fantasy in the hopes that he’ll be back with an engagement ring after looking for romance and sex with other women. It would be much healthier for you to stop contacting him as long as the two of you are broken up. First of all, if there IS any hope of reconciliation, [i]absence makes the heart grow fonder.[/i] If he finds that he misses you, he’s going to want you a lot more than if he doesn’t miss you. If you contact him often post-break up, he’s not going to GET a chance to miss you. So use some discipline and stop calling him and contacting him. Don’t tell him you’re talking to other guys. Don’t loop him into your life at all. Let him see what it feels like to be without you.
That said, if he doesn’t miss you, and he’s made it clear he wants to date other women, you’re taking care of yourself by not putting yourself in front of someone who isn’t interested. It’s a lot healthier to go through doors that are open than doors that are locked and bolted to you, metaphorically speaking. I know you miss him, but look around at the men who would like to spend time with you, and start gravitating towards them instead of towards someone who’s moving away from you.
