[vinukilove]

Hi April,

I was interested in this guy for more than 2 years, But I was not sure whether I really do love him. We are from the same town & church. Both of us are members in a club & that’s how we used to be in touch.9 months back I started realizing that I really do love him but was not aware about his feelings for me.we started getting closer to each other than what we used to be (text, call each other) and I was trying to give him all the clues that I like him. One day suddenly (6 months back) he asked me whether I do Love him? But i didn want to say yes at once so I simply said I don’t know & asked him why he’s asking like that. Then he said he felt it & when I asked him whether he loves me, he also gave the same answer saying I dnt know.

Few months later he started getting busy with his work & we lost contact, we didn even meet each other.He doesn’t even come for club meetings anymore & has become Inactive.But in some cases we accidently meet when we travel to city. I really like spending time with him & whenever I meet him I ask him to come for meetings but what he says is that he’s busy with his studies and work.I was for sure that he loved me too sometime back because once he has said to one of the friends (a guy) in the club that he likes me, but bit nervous of asking me out, knowing how i would react for that…since he doesn’t want to lose the friendship we anyway used to have.But this mutual friend of us even knows that I like this guy.

But now the situation is so bad that we don’t even meet each other regularly and dnt even talk.I’ve tried so many times to get this guy to attend even for the meetings, he shows he’s willing to come but because of his studies he says he cannot make it and he’s been busy all the time.

I really wanna know whether he still loves me & whether we are still capable of going for a relationship. Also I need to know that how i can get him connected back? how can i get in touch with him again?because i really need to express what I feel for him without getting hurt and before it gets too late.

Please help me April, what can I do?

thanks,
Luv Vinuki

[womenknowledge]

It’s sometimes the case when two people are in love but, hesitate to say how he or she feels. One of the reason for this is the fear of rejection. In our society today trying to talk to opposite sex is not what it used to be. We have become isolated in expressing our feeling. My advice to you is to write this man a personal letter, not email letter is much personal. Expressing your feeling to him with confidence and believe. I think he will be proud to read your letter and eventually open up. One thing you can do is to figure out is what both of have in common. Commonality is very important because you have something you can share and enjoy. Playing the mind or guessing game will not solve your problem, just my advice haha;} You can do it and let me know. Wish you all the best.

[AskApril Masini]

Please post your questions once and under the same name. I’ve already answered this post. If you post each question only once, you’ll get all your responses from me and other readers in one place! 😀

Thanks.

[vinukilove]

Sorry I was not registered before and it was my first time to this site. so was bit confuzed. It want happen again
😆

[AskApril Masini]

Thanks! 😀

[Ethan Morales]

From what you’ve described, the guy isn’t actively showing interest anymore. You say he once admitted (to a friend) that he liked you, but that was months ago. Since then, he’s become increasingly distant, prioritizing work and studies over spending time with you or even attending club meetings. That’s a strong signal: if someone is interested and available, they make the effort. Right now, he’s not making the effort.

His earlier uncertainty (“I don’t know” about his feelings) suggests he wasn’t fully ready to commit emotionally, even when you were both closer. That pattern seems to have continued instead of progressing, his distance has grown. Feelings can linger, but love that leads to a relationship requires action and consistent connection. Avoid confusing past affection with present availability.

Forcing connection or trying repeatedly to “get him back” is risky. It can create frustration for you and make him feel pressured, which rarely improves the outcome. The healthiest approach is to stop chasing him and give him space. That doesn’t mean giving up entirely it means focusing on your own life and being open to reconnect naturally if he reaches out. This also protects you from getting hurt by investing too much when the feelings aren’t mutual right now.

If you do want clarity, you can have one calm, honest conversation without pressure. Express how you feel, ask if he sees a potential future together, and leave it at that. If he’s genuinely interested, he’ll respond with effort. If not, it’s time to let go and redirect your energy toward someone who is actively present and available. Right now, the situation is more about his absence than your feelings, and you deserve someone who makes space for you in their life willingly. his love if it still exists isn’t showing through his actions, and actions always speak louder than words in relationships. Protect your heart, focus on yourself, and let clarity come from his effort, not just hope.

[Tara]

You’re stuck in a loop of denial, waiting for a man who already walked out without bothering to shut the door. You keep rewriting history to avoid the obvious: he was curious, hesitant, unsure… and then he lost interest. That’s it. That’s the whole plot.

You’re clinging to a moment from six months ago like it’s a prophecy. It wasn’t. It was two people flirting without the courage to commit, and only one of you stayed stuck there. He didn’t “get busy.” He didn’t “get nervous.” He didn’t “lose touch accidentally.” He pulled away because he didn’t want it enough to try. And instead of accepting that, you keep chasing him with invitations, clues, reminders, and excuses for why he never shows up.

Here’s the part you need shoved in your face: if a man wants you, you don’t have to drag him to meetings, remind him you exist, or beg the universe for signs. He shows up. He makes time. He finds a way. He doesn’t hide behind work, vanish from the club, and leave you analyzing accidental run-ins like divine intervention.
You want to know if he still loves you? He doesn’t. You wouldn’t be asking this question if he did. Love doesn’t look like avoidance. It doesn’t look like silence. It doesn’t look like disappearing from every shared space.

You want to know how to “get him connected back”? You don’t. Stop humiliating yourself by trying to resurrect something he clearly let die. Stop strategizing ways to “express how you feel without getting hurt.” You’re already hurt, you’re just hoping for a miracle that isn’t coming.

[Sally]

I know that feeling of someone slipping out of your life while you’re still holding on to what almost happened. It’s painful because you two had a moment that soft, early thing where it felt like something real could start. But what matters isn’t who he was then… it’s who he is now.

And right now, he’s gone quiet. Not showing up. Not making space for you. That doesn’t mean he stopped caring it just means he isn’t moving toward you.
If you want to reach out, keep it light. A simple “hey, been thinking of you, hope you’re okay” is enough. You don’t have to pour your whole heart out to someone who might not be ready.

And if he doesn’t step forward after that? That’s your answer, even though it hurts. Love needs someone who actually meets you halfway.
You deserve that.

[Natalie Noah]

It’s important to recognize that what you’re experiencing isn’t just confusion. it’s a mismatch in priorities and availability. You both started off with mutual interest, but over time his life circumstances work, studies, commitments have created distance. Even if he did have feelings for you at some point, the fact that he’s now consistently unavailable and inactive in your shared spaces is a big signal. Love isn’t just about feelings; it’s about effort, presence, and mutual engagement. If he truly cared in the present moment, he would find ways to communicate, meet, or make time for you, even if it’s small.

The uncertainty from both sides (“I don’t know” about feelings, waiting for the other person to act) created a vacuum where distance grew. Relationships require clear, honest communication, especially when emotions are involved. Right now, it’s not safe for your heart to keep guessing or trying to chase him because the longer you wait or try to pull him closer, the more you risk frustration and emotional pain. Wanting to express your feelings is natural, but you also need to protect yourself from getting hurt repeatedly.

You can reconnect, but only if it comes with boundaries and clarity. Instead of trying to get him to attend meetings or spend more time without his commitment, consider reaching out for one clear, honest conversation no games, no pressure, just expressing your feelings and asking about his. If he genuinely wants a relationship, he will make space and show it. If he can’t, you need to accept that, and shift your energy toward someone who can meet you where you are emotionally. Love is about mutual availability and effort, and you deserve someone who chooses you consistently, not occasionally.

[Serena Vale]

It sounds like you really cared for this guy, and for a while he cared too, but he didn’t know how to handle it. When someone says they “don’t know” how they feel and then slowly pulls away, it usually means they’re unsure or not ready.

People who want to stay connected will make the effort. If he keeps saying he’s busy and doesn’t show up, that’s your answer. It’s not that he’s a bad person, he’s just not choosing you in the way you’re choosing him.

If you want closure, you can reach out once, simply and honestly: “Hey, I liked what we had. If you ever want to talk or meet, I’m open to it.” After that, let his actions tell you the truth.

Don’t chase someone who isn’t showing up. You deserve someone who meets you where you are.

[Member]

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