[Niza]

Here is some info about my background:
I am turning 24 this year and have never gone on a real date. My cliques of more than 5 years are made up of girls who never seem to have any trouble getting into relationships. In fact, right now, I am the only single one left. A couple of them are engaged and one is already a mother of two. All of them are educators at childcare centres and junior high schools. Whereas, I am working in corporate office in the technology department. My environment has always been male infested but most are married or old enough to be my dad. I take up courses to enlarge my social network but the males that I meet ends up from the same age group/status. Or, are not interesting enough to catch my attention. So end up, to me, I always wonder where have all the good guys gone.
Or if the problem just lies with me ~ but how would I know what is my problem?

Recently, due to my hectic schedule, I decided to dress down for work for one of the days. I left home without any make up, best outfit or perfume on. Usually, I’d put in some effort to look good and presentable. But that fateful morning, was pretty slack for me. However, at one point towards the subway, I had cross path with a handsome young man.

I had seen him coming and somehow, our eyes had met for a split second before I looked away. He was walking towards the same direction as I was, and I know at one point at that time we’d stepped into each other’s path. I had thought he would switch lanes instead as we got closer, none of us wanted to give way till we gently abraised each other by our arm before I decided to slow down and he shifted alittle. As he went pass me, there was no whiff of cologne. Just a clean morning sweat. No ordour at all.

It took me awhile to digest the familiar face and recalled that I had attended weekend school with him about 8 years ago. But we were not in the same class. And, he was the same guy I had secretly thought was very very goodlooking.

I wished I had pluck up enough courage to have spoken to him 8 years ago. Or at least, told him that he looks good. Because I like to praise others, my close friends especially, if they look good in anything. I know simple words like this can help make anyone’s day.
But I did not. And by now, after all these years, we have become complete strangers.

This guy happened to have gone to the same junior school as one of my clique who also happened to be friends with him on her facebook. I was told that he used to be plump but right now, apart from his full time job, he takes up adhoc project as a model. One of his project doing a bridal runway.

Another good friend of mine who went to the same high school as him disagreed with his goodlooks because as far as she had known him, his character was of an average joe and leaning more towards the nerds. But she also mentioned that she would understand why I would like him because he was the Nice boy.

Both of them are not close in contact with him now.

I am not one to judge and I prefer to give him the benefit of a doubt. Though frankly, I am alot intimidated since he is a part time model and I am not one with a flattering figure, infact I have quite an asset on my hips and blessed with some bust area too. In easier terms, I am one of those girls whom can be passed off as being FAT. So, I am not sure if this would be a great idea at all.

And the worst part is, I am not sure if I will get to meet him again. Though, I hope to so bad. It has been a week since that fateful morning but he is nowhere in sight.
But if I do meet him again, should I make the first move? And how ?
I found out that he is a Saggittarius and I am a Gemini.

& Like any human being, I fear being rejected too. I have had my fair share. I used to have my good friends steal my crush. I am not sure which one hurts more.

I need an opinion and have been looking for it till I found your forum. I look forward to your expert advice.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

First of all, do yourself a favor and buy and read Think & Date Like A Man, the book I wrote for women who want to date better — and date to win. You’ll get a lot of basics and some more intermediate and advanced tips for dating — this is so important since you’ve never dated before. Here’s the link for the automatic download of the book: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url]. You can also buy it on the websites for Amazon and Barnes & Noble. 🙂

More specifically, it sounds like you’re spending a lot of time thinking about someone you passed on the street who you once knew. If you had more opportunities to meet men in your life, this one chance meeting with no words exchanged, wouldn’t take on such importance. 😉 One of the tips I give readers in my book is that you really have to approach dating as a business. If you want to find and meet a man who will be your Mr. Right, whether that’s a husband, a boyfriend, a live in lover — whatever — you have to invest in yourself and put yourself out there! 😉

[quote]…I always wonder where have all the good guys gone.Or if the problem just lies with me ~ but how would I know what is my problem? [/quote]

Sorry — but the problem is you! There are lots of good guys out there — you just have to put yourself in different situations and take on some new tools to be able to find them. What you’re doing isn’t working, so you have to look elsewhere (the book will help you with this).

Also, if you’re fat, then lose weight! I know that sounds simple, but don’t accept the fact that you’re fat and then complain that you don’t have a date. 😳 Men hang out in gyms — so join one! You can kill two birds with one stone — get fit and meet men! Walk to work, take the stairs — not the elevator, and ditch the movies for the bowling alley, a hiking trail or the beach. In other words, expend energy. 🙂 Change your diet so you’re eating healthier, frequenting health food or healthier food venues (grocery stores — ask for help!! 😎 and restaurants or even juice bars) and again, kill two birds with one stone. Men are visual and first impressions count. Be the knock out that the guys want to stop and get a number from! 😉

[quote]But if I do meet him again, should I make the first move? And how ?[/quote]

No, no, no! Don’t make the first move. If he’s interested in you, HE’LL make the first move. 🙂 Learn more about this in Think & Date Like A Man: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url]. 😀

I know you said you’ve had your fair share of rejection, but that’s part of the dating game. If you don’t put yourself out there, you’ll never be eligible for a yes! But….. put yourself out there with your best foot forward every day.

I hope this helps. Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

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