[koko87]

Hi April,

My boyfriend broke up with me one week ago!! My boyfriend was an amazing guy who loved me very much. We where together two years and talked of marriage and the future together. In our hearts we planned to be together forever, we where so so in love. We spent every single night together and woke up together every morning, we talked all day and we were close with each others families. Thing is although I loved him very much I treated him really really badly, I spoke to him in an awful way when we would argue and I lied to him all the time and made him feel like he was crazy for not trusting me. I lied so that I wouldn’t have to listen to him moan or ask questions. We argued about these issues and we stayed together, we were doing ok until I turned my Facebook back on. He hated me having a Facebook because I hurt him through Facebook before. He told me that he would not be with me if I had Facebook. We fought for a week about it and then on Thursday he turned up at my house crying asking how we fix things, we agreed on fb and we agreed that we wanted to be together. Friday he was asking me to come over and stay in his, says he was dying to see me, then I lied over somthing really stupid and with a click of his finger he said that was it. He has had enough and we are over for good.

usually when we fight and break up there is a cool down period but we still speak to each other and we still see each other. But this time was different. He said he never wanted to see me agin and that he wanted space and not to contact him. I was on the phone to him on the saturday crying and asking him not to break up with me, then my batt on my cell died and I drove home and plugged it in, there was 3 messages and two missed calls. I didn’t respond to them at all. Instead I went out with the girls. The next day I asked him to drop my stuff up to my house, he said he would do it when he gets a chance but he won’t be calling in he will only drop my stuff to the door. I then realised that he was serious about the break up and I broke down. I text and asked him to call me but he wouldn’t. The next day was Monday I cried all day and sent 100 texts. Begging and pleading him to talk to me. He only wrote back twice and all he said was no, I want to be left alone. I didn’t listen, I drove over to his house and sat outside until he came out with my stuff and spoke to me. At first he told me to go away that he didn’t wanna see me, he wanted space, but I didn’t listen. He came out and we sat in the car for two hours. I cried and begged and pleaded, he told me no, that he doesn’t want to be with me anymore. He told me he has had enough, that his head was about to explode and he wanted space. He cried and said it was to hard to see me, too hard to talk to me. And too hard to see me. We both cried and I drove home. He rang me when I got home and he was still crying, he told me that he was sorry and that he was heartbroken and that he didn’t mean it when he said that he doesn’t love me. But he said that we were still over.

I wrote a long letter the next day and emailed him. I said I was sorry for destroying our relationship. I told him that I am sorry for hurting him but that I understand why he ended our relationship. I reminded him of some good memories and I told him that my heart will wait forever. He didn’t write back. I didn’t contact him until the Thursday, all I said was I just want you to know that I miss you. Still nothing back.

Friday night I tried calling him with no response at all. I text him yesterday morning and begged him to ring me or talk to me. He wrote back saying, no its too hard and that he wasn’t gonna text me back Anymore. I told him that I just wanted to know if there was any hope of me and him getting back together before I moved on. He told me that he doesn’t miss me and he is happier now. I didnt write back. Then last night I went out with the girls and I drunk text him saying I was at a party and would he collect me. He didn’t write back until this morning. He said that he will never ever speak to me again, he thinks I was with somebody else last night and now he hates me.

Sorry that this is so long but it feels great to get it off my chest. I know I screwed up my relationship with him, but I cannot stop crying all week, the pain is unbearable, I cannot think of anything else but him. I know I shouldn’t have text him at all since we broke up but it was too hard. I need to know how to get him back. I will never lie to him or take him for granted ever!! I love him so so much and I know I can be the girl that he feel in love with if I can just get another chance!!! Help me please!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like you had a highly dysfunctional relationship from the get go because you loved him and talked of marriage and spent every night together….. [i]and[/i] you consistently treated him badly and lied to him. 😕 That’s not a relationship that has a future. At some point he was going to hit his limit with you, and in this case, it took two years. 😳

This relationship is over, and you can’t get him back anytime soon, for good. You may get him back if he has a weak moment, but it won’t last because your behavior hasn’t changed.

What I hope you’ll get from this relationship is that you can’t be with someone, treat them badly and lie to them consistently, and expect them to stick around. If you don’t change your behavior, you may be able to have a long term relationship with someone who’s got “matching” problems to yours. But the best thing you can do is to change your behavior and start treating people nicely and stop lying. My guess is that you’re doing this in other of your relationships, too.

Take this rejection as a gift to set you on the right road in your life — one where you choose to change things you do to become a better person who will then be able to really find Mr. Right. 😉

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