[werdna84]

hi april,this is the first time i have ever ask for advice regarding relationship in a forum.please provide me with your best and truthful opinion.i believe i wont be wrong to confide in you.i am in a relationship with this girl for 3 years.we were together several years back during our early twenties for almost a year..she is divorced with a primary school kid.rebuilding this relationship was not easy,maybe because of some unpleasant past and our personality had changed.her son enjoy my company alot,but it took me a long time to accept him.our love gradually formed a barrier because of financial constraint.she stressed that i didnt fulfill my duty as a father to provide for them and i am disheartened that she dont seem to be a woman who is willing to go through obstacles with me.both of us simply reluctant to give and take.when i made the first move and constantly treat her better,she dont feel it.in the midst of enhacing the relationship,i found her chatting with a guy in msn.this incident upset me although it was purely sharing views on relationship.when i approached her,she denied but still admit in the end.instead,she somehow find herself ‘right’ because i dont understand her.few months after that,i created a facebook account.one of my conversation with my friend’s wife was too overbroad,but it was not as bad as she think.it leads to a serious conflict.someone is fabricating facts that dont exist.i know i am wrong but somehow i feel being accused on somethings that i didnt say or do.i tried explaining many times but she still rather trust others.how can i convince her?i have proofs to verify myself for some factors but i still cant clear my name.she take it very seriously.i dont want to lose her but our relationship is on the rock.i believe someone meant to break us up.i was not honest about a past of mine.i didnt tell her about one of my ex girlfriend and she tink that i betray her recently becoz someone told her this incident happened recently.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Trust is earned. You can’t force it and it doesn’t always come.

It sounds like you and your girlfriend broke up after dating a year in your early 20s — I’m not sure how old you are now, or why you broke up (which would be helpful) — but now that you’ve been dating again for three years, both of you mistrust each other for different things. In addition, she doesn’t feel you make enough money to be compatible with her — and your response is to be disappointed that she isn’t willing to go through tough times with you.

It sounds like you have too many incompatibilities to make this relationship work — especially since you’re coming to me with these problems on your second go-round as boyfriend/girlfriend. My advice is that you take a big step back and try to see this relationship for what it is, from a broader perspective: one that has financial issues and trust issues that have landed the two of you “on the rocks”. Instead of trying to hold onto something that is disappointing and stressing you both, why not let go? It doesn’t sound like this is something you should be holding onto. 😳

I hope this helps. Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[werdna84]

thanks for your advice.i will keep u updated. 🙂

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re welcome! 😀

Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[werdna84]

hi april,sad to tell u that my girlfriend initiated a breakup awhile ago.i hate to leave her but i dun wan c her so unhappy.she feel that leaving her alone is a better way to ease the pain.i respected her decision.it is hard for me to forget her but i have to,but i have to drown my sorrows to forget.i juz hope she will lead her life happily.i aware that i am nt worthy of her.i know i am selfish to ask her stay.but on the other hand,i know she can surely find someone much better than me.i am in a dilemna.i really hope we can still be together.as long as she stay single,i will work hard to change myself to gain her love back.thank you.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

If you can understand exactly what your incompatibilities were, you can decide if those are areas you want to change within yourself.

You mentioned that there was a difference in financial ideals between you and she. Decide if you want to enhance your financial life so that you’re more of a provider for a woman than you have been. Look at other incompatibilities, and decide where you’d like to make changes in your own life.

If you don’t want to make changes, then decide that you need to find a woman who is more in tune with your ideals for life. 😉

You didn’t mention why you broke up with her the first time, but there may be places in that break up that you might want to re-examine so you can decide if you want to make other changes in your own life.

I know you’re sad, but if you decide you’re going to evolve as a person because of what you’ve learned from this relationship, then it will have been a positive experience in spite of whatever happens next with or without her. 😉

Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

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