First of all, your understanding of the problem gives you a leg up. 🙂 Acknowledging that this is going to be a tough time is important because it means that intellectually you get it.
It sounds like your emotions get out of control because even though you understand why you get angry with each other, you behave in ways other than those that promote health and love. 😕 If you can learn to control your own emotions a little bit better than you have in the past, you’re going to see an exponential change for the better in your own self, in your boyfriend and in that of your relationship.
The way to do that is to plan ahead. Know that if your boyfriend has a tough week ahead of him, you can’t expect normal behavior from him. Give him a little more space than usual, but continue to make your love available to him by leaving him a lasagna or some home made chocolate chip cookies on his doorstep. Send him an old fashioned, scented, paper love letter without expecting a response. Don’t underestimate sex as a stress buster, and make a quick date together being respectful of his time — and of his sexual needs! 😎
And when you feel a quarrel coming on, train yourself to leave the room BEFORE you say something you’ll regret. Parents give their kids time outs not as a punitive measure, but as a way to allow the child to regroup emotionally so the child can make a calmer and more appropriate choice in his or her behavior. Do the same thing for yourself. Take ten and breathe. And if ten isn’t enough, give yourself twenty!
I hope that helps — let me know how it goes — and please join me on Facebook. I’d love to have you as a free member of AskApril.com on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 🙂
