[AugustLove]

My husband and I have only been married since August 2011. During our Honeymoon, he was drinking too much and in an arguement told me he wanted an enulement. Which he recanted. I moved to Arizona from California w/my small children to be with my first love from High School. We had been trying to find each other ironically at the same time. We had an arguement once before we got married and he told me to get out, telling me I had two hours to pack all I had brought. He called my 5 yr. old boy “who is so sweet” The AntiChrist.. Thankfully my son doesnt know what an AntiChrist is. He recanted of course telling me he didn’t want me to leave. I made him appologize to my son. Now that we are married, still over a stupid disagreement he goes straight to I’ll be serving you w/annulement papers on Monday. I told him to promise me that he will stop saying these things, cause one day I will really leave. He promised me he would refrain from saying these things. Then two days before X-mas he accused me of taking his head off, and started over reacting and then said “If you don’t like it, you can get out.” My gawd, it’s exhausting. How can I plan a future w/this person? Today, he started talking of making a plan for the year. I looked at him and said.. first I NEED You to stop telling me to leave because I don’t feel safe making plans with you when I’m being told at every disagreement to get out. He thinks that by doing all these things for me out weight the terrible things he says to me. That I should get over it… He promised me again today that he will stop saying these things. I just looked at him and said “We’ll see?” Cause I’ve heard it before. I’m saving my money for a safe out if I have to… I’d rather put energy into my marriage not into making an egg nest for when or if I have to find a place for me and my children to relocate to at a moments notice.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

[quote] How can I plan a future w/this person?[/quote]

You can’t.

I’m not sure how long you dated him before you married him, but if you didn’t know who he was, and what his character was like, you do now. He sounds like he’s going to be emotionally abusive to your son, and for this reason, you need to admit your mistake and get divorced.

Before you get involved with anyone else, you really need to know them very well and make sure that they are someone who is going to be good to you and your child. Dating as a single parent and re-marrying with children involved is a lot different than “regular” dating without kids in the picture. You have to be super careful because whatever decisions you make, the children are affected.

I hope this helps. Please let me know how it goes, and follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

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