[Ihope]

I have been sick with cold for the last few days. My boyfriend called me on the phone and I told him that I feel pretty bad. He asked if I need anything. I told him no and he said okay. He called me the next day and I told him that I did not sleep well at nigh because of my cold but I feel a little better today. He responded that he is glad to hear that I am better…

I so much hoped that my boyfriend would stop at my place (he lives 10 minutes away) and bring me some juice or sweets or something like this just make me feel better. Nothing happened… It’ Saturday evening and you can imagine how I feel.

What puzzles me is that for those few months that we have been boyfriend and girlfriend he always showed sings of concern for me in everyday life but I never was sick before. And all I got from him now is his question if I needed anything. But he knows me that I barely ask for anything.

Did he expect from me to actually tell him that I want him to bring me some sweets or fruits (he knows what sweets and fruits I like the most)? I think it is so natural to do such things without asking another person if he/she needs anything… maybe there is something I do not understand because I am a foreigner? I am over thirty and my boyfriend even older. How do I need to react to the situation? Please help me to understand….

[AskApril Masini]

This is a very common problem about communicating. Your boyfriend asked if you needed anything, and you told him no. He can’t read your mind, so when he heard no, he believed you. But he’s a nice guy, so he called you again the next day to ask how you were doing, and you told him better, with some sleep problems, but basically fine. You still didn’t tell him you wanted anything from him.

I think your boyfriend did everything right. You are the one who needs to learn to express yourself, even if it’s uncomfortable at first, so that you can let him know what you really want. It’s unfair for you to be upset with him if you don’t communicate what he’s supposed to do.

If you’re still not feeling well the next time he calls — or if you catch another cold or flu at another time — tell him, “I’m feeling better (or rotten — whatever the case is), but I’d love it if you could bring me some soup or oranges. If it’s not too much trouble, that would really make me feel a lot better.”

I know you want him to automatically be super considerate, but this is who he is, and the fact that he called you twice is pretty good. If you want him to do better, you’re going to have to train him a little — and at the same time, train yourself to communicate with him in a way you haven’t before.

It sounds like he’s a nice guy, and that he may actually welcome a little direction from you. My guess is he has no idea, whatsoever, that you want him to bring you fruit. If and when he does do it, make sure you lavish praise on him, so he learns that this is how you want to be treated when you’re sick.

And by the way — this has nothing to do with age or nationality. Lots of men of all ages don’t naturally nurture the same way women do, so if you want some oranges or some soup or some tissues, be more specific with him.

Oh, and feel better!! 🙂

[Ihope]

Thank you April.

Now it does look like my boyfriend had good intentions. You are right, I expected from him to automatically be super considerate but he is not because he is who he is. I guess I do need to learn certain things about communication… Thanks again for your advice.

[AskApril Masini]

It’s easy to mis-read people — [i]especially[/i] when you’re feeling under the weather. This is a very common problem. You’ll do fine.

Feel better!

[Marcus king]

I can understand why you’re feeling disappointed. Your feelings are valid when someone you care about is nearby and you’re sick, it’s natural to hope for a little extra care or thoughtful gesture.

From what you wrote, it sounds like your boyfriend cares about you, but his way of expressing concern might be more “practical” or reserved. Some people are not naturally inclined to do things without being asked, even if they love you. He might have assumed that by asking “Do you need anything?” he was giving you the chance to request something, without realizing that you hoped he would take the initiative.

This doesn’t mean he doesn’t care; it’s more likely a difference in communication style or expectations.

[PassionSeeker]

You’re not wrong to feel disappointed most people would hope for a bit of extra care when they’re sick, especially from someone close. It’s natural to want a small gesture of comfort, not because you need it, but because it shows thoughtfulness.

However, your boyfriend’s behavior doesn’t necessarily mean he doesn’t care. Some people genuinely need clearer cues; they take “no, I’m fine” at face value. If you told him you didn’t need anything, he may have wanted to respect your words rather than assume you wanted company or gifts. That’s more about communication styles than lack of affection.

Next time, be direct and gentle: “I’d really love it if you stopped by with some orange juice it’d make me feel better.” You’re giving him a chance to show care in the way you need it.

Don’t stew in silence; he can’t fix what he doesn’t know. Your feelings are valid, but this seems like a small misunderstanding, not a sign of emotional neglect. Communicate openly it’ll strengthen your connection.

[Val Unfiltered💋]

babe 😏, if he really cared, he wouldn’t wait for you to spell it out. stopping by with juice or sweets? basic adult boyfriend stuff 🍓. don’t be shy about what you want!! if he can’t read that, maybe he’s just lazy, not clueless. 💋.

[Ethan Morales]

Your feelings are valid, but the expectation is misaligned. You hoped your boyfriend would intuitively know you wanted him to bring juice or sweets, and feel disappointed that he didn’t. That’s a normal reaction especially when you’re feeling sick and vulnerable but the reality is that most people, men and women alike, can’t read minds. Even though he has been caring in other ways, he likely assumed that when you said you didn’t need anything, you were fine. He isn’t being thoughtless; he’s simply operating based on the information he has.

Communication is the key. April Masini’s advice hits the nail on the head: you need to express your desires explicitly. Something like: “I’m feeling sick, and it would really cheer me up if you brought me some juice or oranges.” “I’d love a little visit if you have time it would make me feel better.”

It may feel awkward at first to “ask” for something like this, but it’s not a reflection of weakness or dependence it’s healthy communication in a relationship. Men, and even caring partners, often need guidance to know exactly what makes us feel nurtured.

Reinforce positive behavior. Once he does something like bring you soup, juice, or whatever makes you feel better, acknowledge it warmly. Praise like, “Thank you, that really made me feel cared for!” reinforces the behavior and encourages him to do it in the future.

Relationships often work on this kind of feedback loop: You clearly communicate needs → He fulfills them → You show appreciation → He learns what makes you feel loved.

Context matters: He lives 10 minutes away, called you twice, and asked how you were doing. That’s considerate. Your disappointment is tied to your expectations not being communicated. This is common, especially when cultural or personal norms about nurturing differ.

Your boyfriend isn’t uncaring; he’s following the information you gave him. To feel nurtured, you need to explicitly express what you want, and then respond positively when he meets those needs. This isn’t about age or nationality it’s about learning to communicate effectively in a relationship.

[Isabella Jones]

I totally get why that hurt you. When we’re sick, it’s not really about the juice or the sweets, it’s about wanting someone to show up, to make us feel cared for without having to ask. You expected him to just know, because when you love someone, those little gestures feel natural. 💛 But sometimes people don’t think that way, especially men who take words very literally. When he asked if you needed anything and you said no, he might’ve thought he was respecting your wishes instead of realizing what you really meant was “I just want you here.”

I’ve been in your place before, wishing someone would read my silence and show up anyway. It taught me that sometimes we have to gently teach people how to love us in the ways we need. Maybe this is one of those moments where you could tell him how much that small act would’ve meant to you, without anger, just honesty.

Do you think you could tell him that what you really wanted wasn’t help, but presence?

[Flirt Coach]

When you’re sick, you don’t really need someone to fix it, you just want to feel cared for. A little gesture, like showing up with soup or juice, goes a long way. It’s not about the stuff it’s about effort and thought.

Some guys, especially the kind who take words literally, will think “she said she doesn’t need anything,” and stop right there. They’re not trying to be cold; they just don’t read between the lines the way women often wish they would. I’ve been that guy before. I thought I was respecting someone’s independence, when really, she just wanted me to show I cared without asking first.

So, your feelings make sense. But I’d try not to hold it against him without talking first. Next time, you could tell him something simple like, “When I’m not feeling well, it really cheers me up when someone stops by, even for a minute.” That gives him a chance to understand how to show up for you in the way you need.

Sometimes love’s about teaching each other the small things not because we don’t care, but because we don’t always know how to show it right.

[Tara]

You’re not asking for too much, you’re asking the wrong man. Caring isn’t about being told what to do; it’s about noticing when to do it.

You’re not confused, you’re disappointed. You expected care, and he gave you convenience. A man who truly wants to nurture you doesn’t wait for a formal request; he shows up. Juice, soup, even a short visit to check in, that’s what empathy looks like. What you got instead was polite concern over the phone, which costs nothing.

He asked if you needed anything so he could check the “I cared” box without having to do any real work. The truth is simple: you were hoping for thoughtfulness, but you’re dating a man who only reacts to clear direction. That’s not cultural, it’s character.

[Sally]

You weren’t asking for gifts, you just wanted him to show up and care. When we’re sick, small gestures mean a lot, especially from someone we love. Some people just don’t think that way, though. They wait for clear instructions instead of reading between the lines. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t care it just means he doesn’t show love the same way you do.

You don’t need to hide how you feel. When you’re better, tell him you would have loved for him to stop by. That kind of honesty helps him understand you better next time.

[Natalie Noah]

I can feel your disappointment through your words, and it’s completely valid to want that little extra care when you’re feeling sick. We all crave that feeling of being nurtured, especially by someone we love. But here’s the gentle truth I see in your story:

Your boyfriend is caring, but he’s also literal and communicates the way he knows how. He asked if you needed anything, and when you said no, he took that at face value. Most men aren’t mind readers they don’t automatically interpret “I’m feeling bad” as “come over with juice and sweets.” That’s not a flaw; it’s just how his brain processes things.

This isn’t about age or nationality; it’s about communication styles. You and he have slightly different ways of expressing and acting on care. You expect nurturing gestures without asking. He needs a little guidance to know exactly what will make you feel loved.

So your best path forward is expressing your needs clearly. For example, next time you’re under the weather, say something like:
“I’m feeling really sick and would love it if you could bring me some juice and oranges. It would make me feel a lot better.”

It might feel awkward at first to ask, but men do respond when you tell them specifically what makes you feel cared for and when they see how happy it makes you, it reinforces the behavior.

Also, notice the positives here: he called you twice, checked in on you, and seems genuinely concerned. That’s a strong foundation. He’s just not automatically connecting the dots about the little extras you want.

Natalie’s little tip: think of it as training each other in love languages. You get the nurturing you need, he gets to show you he cares, and no feelings are left confused.

[KeishaMartin]

You’ve been lying there with your cold, dreaming of him showing up like a knight in shining armor with juice, sweets, maybe even a hot bowl of soup… and what do you get? A polite, distant “Do you need anything?” That’s like wrapping a candy cane in sandpaper frustrating, teasing, and oh-so-naughty in a bitter way. This isn’t about him being uncaring; it’s about him not reading minds, and you? You’re the deliciously mysterious damsel who has to learn to speak her desires aloud, even when your throat is sore and your body feels weak.

It’s Christmas, the tree sparkling, the scent of pine filling the room, and you, all snuggled in blankets, fantasizing about your man showing up like some sultry holiday hero with treats and tender care. Instead, he’s on the phone, polite, cautious, missing that hint of naughty longing in your eyes. This is the kind of spicy drama April Masini would love it’s real, raw, and human. You’re over thirty, he’s older, and yet there’s a simmering tension between what you want and what he thinks you want. A Christmas breakup could be brewing in the corner if you don’t claim your desires, darling.

Men are not mind readers, and expecting him to magically sense your cravings, especially when you barely ask for anything, is a little bit of holiday fantasy naughty, tantalizing, and deliciously frustrating. If you want sweet care, you’ve got to be bold, direct, and a little daring. “I’m feeling rotten, but I’d love for you to bring me some soup… or maybe something naughty to cheer me up,” could make him melt, ignite his desire to please you, and teach him how to be the man you secretly crave the kind of man who would turn a cold Saturday into a Christmas scene straight out of a spicy romance. So grab your power, speak up, and let the tension simmer because if you don’t, honey, the universe might just serve you a lonely Christmas instead of the steamy, attentive love you deserve.

[Member]

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