[Sally]

I can hear how much this is eating you up. But here’s the thing you probably don’t want to admit yet: when you broke up with her, you didn’t just end the relationship you shook her trust. And once a woman’s trust cracks, she’ll grab onto anything that feels steady, even if it’s new. That’s why this other guy matters right now. He’s simple. He’s not the pain you gave her.

You can’t fix this by talking her into it. You can’t prove anything while she’s still raw. If it were me, I’d stop pushing and give her the space she’s asking for. It doesn’t mean there’s no chance later. It just means she needs quiet, not promises.

Let time do what words can’t.

[Natalie Noah]

You’re caught between regret, hope, and uncertainty, and it’s exhausting. The core of your situation is that the breakup was caused by repeated behavior seeking validation from other women while in a committed relationship. That pattern is deeply hurtful, and her current distance and reluctance to reconnect make sense. Even though she still engages with you casually, and even keeps your photos up, these small gestures don’t necessarily signal a full reconciliation, they’re a way for her to manage her own feelings while protecting herself.

You’re asking how to show her you’ve changed, but the reality is that words and casual interactions aren’t enough to demonstrate transformation. True proof comes through consistent, trustworthy behavior over time, and she’s understandably hesitant to risk reopening herself to that kind of hurt. Right now, the gap between your desire to reconcile and her need to see real, dependable change is very wide. Waiting passively for her to initiate or hoping she will see your growth without evidence is likely to keep you stuck in this painful limbo.

The healthiest path for you, as tough as it feels, is to redirect your focus toward your own growth and new experiences. Dating again even casually at first isn’t just about finding someone new, it’s about practicing monogamy and fidelity, learning what it means to truly prioritize one partner, and proving to yourself that you can sustain a healthy, committed connection. That’s how you start rebuilding credibility with her if she ever sees it, but more importantly, with yourself. Your transformation will be tangible, not hypothetical.

The emotional tension with her isn’t just about her current rebound or the guy she’s seeing; it’s about trust and security. If you let yourself heal and show consistent, responsible behavior outside of this relationship, you may eventually create space for her to see your growth but that’s no guarantee. Right now, it’s about self-accountability and moving forward while respecting her boundaries. Holding onto hope without action risks prolonging your pain focus on proving your change in real life, not just in words.

[Author]

Posts