[WolfStud]

Hi,

I am from Jordan but I have been living in Dubai for the last year and a half. I have been going to Sweden every summer since 1998 for some sports event.

I came across a dating application/website a few months back so before my trip to Sweden, I said to myself ‘why not? let me check some girls from Sweden for a change and have someone there to go out with or something.’ So, I started having a look 5 days before leaving to Sweden and started chatting with this one girl.

So, 5 days later, I leave to Sweden and I am still in touch with her. I invite her out for dinner and wine and she agreed. We couldn’t meet up until three days prior to me leaving due to her working and me being busy with the event. so, I took the train to her city and we had our dinner and wine. We clicked instantly. We kept talking for 3 hours then we had a walk in town then she walked me back to the train station and the train still had 1 hour until it arrives. So we just sat on a bench and kept talking. We had a good laugh, we held hands, and as soon as the train arrived there was this mutual emotion and we kissed, a ratherly long kiss. Then I left.

We agreed to meet each other two days after but it didn’t happen. We got busy and it just didn’t happen. But we stayed in touch through phone texts. I added her on Facebook and Skype and we are still in touch. Anyways, after I came back, she admitted to me how comfortable she felt with me and said how we clicked and she really enjoyed her time.

We met 18 days ago to be specific and of course I am back in Dubai now and she is in Sweden. She used to live here years back and her mom and sister are still here. She doesn’t have a good relationship with her mom so she won’t be visiting Dubai any time soon.

We are still in touch and I have feelings for her. I really like her and I am not sure what to do about it. We only met once and we are in different countries. I can’t get her out of my head and I think about her a lot. There is something about her.

I am lost. I am not sure what to do? I want her but the circumstances seem to stand in the way. What is a good way to know if she shares the same feelings as I do? What kind of talk should I start with her that would give hints of my feelings rather than the ‘how was your day?’ and funny remarks?

Looking forward to your response and advice.

Thanks.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I think it’s great that you are so resourceful! 🙂 But….. now you’re in two different countries and you’ve had one great date. This isn’t enough to build a long distance relationship on, and I would encourage you to be as resourceful to find someone to date who is closer to where you live in Dubai!

If you create too much of a long distance relationship based on one date, you’re setting up a vulnerable situation that isn’t the same as a long distance relationship based on six or nine months of dating before separating. 😉 Look for someone who’s easier (and therefore more compatible) to date.

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[WolfStud]

Well, I believe you are right with aiming to get someone closer but I really like this one. I rarely get attached to someone from a very short period but as I said, I can’t get this one out of my head.

So is your advice to totally get her out of my mind without even trying to send out some hints to check her feelings towards me?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

The problem isn’t feelings — the problem is distance!

If she does have feelings for you, then you need to fly there and take her out on a date. If you can afford the kind of lifestyle where you date someone from a different country, then ask her out on a date now! But if you’re like most people, the cost of dating someone long distance is prohibitive.

I’m not doubting that you both had a great first date. I’m doubting that you’re compatible because you live in different countries, don’t know each other well and only had one date.

My advice is to move on and find someone to date who is closer to you because you haven’t made a big emotional or other kind of investment in this Swedish woman. Yet. But if you want to fly back and forth to date her, then ask her out! 😉

[Member]

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