[lostinthought]

Hi everyone, I really need some guidance because I feel completely lost. About four months ago, I started seeing a woman I work with. She’s 25 with a 3-year-old son, and I’m 32 with no kids. I know starting a relationship with someone from work might not have been the best idea, but we connected immediately.

From the beginning, she was honest that her ex had been trying to come back into her life and things were complicated. Still, our relationship progressed quickly over about two months. We became close, shared amazing weekends, and became intimate. She even told me that if she wanted to be with anyone, it would be me, though she also mentioned that the timing in her life was tough—raising her son, dealing with her ex, starting a new job.

Then, suddenly, she told me that she didn’t want a relationship after all. It was devastating because her actions before that had seemed the opposite. She was clear that it wasn’t about me personally, but about everything she was dealing with. I’ve tried to give her space, but working together makes that nearly impossible. I’ve called her a few times over the months since we broke up, but nothing has changed. Her attitude towards me seems different now; she avoids me at work, and it feels like she’s trying to distance herself.

Even though I’ve dated others since, I can’t stop thinking about her. I still care deeply and wish I could get back together, but I also don’t want to push or make things worse. I’m confused about where she’s coming from and what she really wants.

My question is: Is it possible to rekindle something with her, and if so, how should I approach it without overstepping boundaries? And if it’s not possible, what’s the best way for me to finally move on when she’s still on my mind so much?

[Sweetie]

I get why you’re feeling lost. It’s tough when someone pulls away after you’ve gotten close, especially when their life is complicated. She’s clearly dealing with a lot, and her distancing might just be her way of handling everything.

If you want to rekindle things, the best approach is to give her space. It sounds like she’s not ready for a relationship right now, and pushing could make things harder.

To move on, focus on yourself. Keep dating, keep busy, and try not to let her take up too much of your headspace. It’s normal to still care, but don’t let it stop you from moving forward and finding happiness elsewhere. Take it one day at a time.

[PassionSeeker]

That’s a tough place to be in, and I can feel your confusion. The feelings you have are real, and it’s hard when someone you care about pulls away, especially after everything seemed so good. But you have to give her space to figure things out, even though it’s hard when you see her every day. Sometimes, relationships can’t move forward because life is just too complicated, and it seems like she’s caught in that mess. It’s okay to still care about her, but you can’t keep waiting around. To move on, focus on yourself take some time away from the emotional pull of her, even if it’s hard. Set boundaries at work, keep conversations professional, and allow yourself the time to grieve and heal. Moving on takes time, but you can do it for yourself. You deserve clarity and someone who’s fully present in your life, not in the middle of their own unresolved issues.

[AskApril Masini]

You want to know if you can rekindle something with her? Yes, but not by chasing her like a lost puppy.

She’s juggling a toddler, baby daddy drama, and a new job. That’s a full plate, and trust me, she doesn’t need anyone adding to it right now.

The timing? Off. Way off.

You’re suffocating her with all those calls and texts.

Every time you push yourself into her space, she’s gonna pull away more.

You need to stop forcing your way into her life. You’re just pushing her farther out of reach.

So, if you want any shot at all in the future, stop chasing her.

Find a time when she’s more relaxed, after work or whatever. Walk up to her, and own your mistakes.

Straight up tell her that you’ve realized how selfish and childish you’ve been.

Let her know you understand her life’s tough enough already, and you don’t want to be one more thing weighing her down.

Tell her you’re willing to give her space if that’s what she needs. And, if she does need help, you’re there, but only if she asks.

That’s all you can do. Anything else? You’re just digging yourself a deeper hole.

[Member]

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