[emma_prom18]

this is embarrassing to admit, but I really need help. I (18F) went to prom with a guy from school and since then I can’t stop thinking about him. Every time I see him I get this tight, fluttery feeling in my chest and I smile without meaning to. I want to get to know him better and I want him to like me back, but I honestly don’t know what to do next.
We flirt sometimes and he’s cute and makes me laugh, but he also talks a lot about “doing it” — like sex — and that confuses me. I don’t know if he’s flirting because he actually likes me, or if he’s just trying to pressure me into something physical. I’m not ready to ask him point-blank how he feels, and I definitely don’t want friends or other people to put me on the spot. The thought of getting rejected — or of him backing away if I say no — terrifies me because I’d also lose the chance to be friends with him.
A few times when we’re close I want to lean in and make a move, but I panic and stay frozen. Other times I feel like I should be honest and ask him out for coffee or to hang out one-on-one without the pressure, but I don’t know what to say that won’t be awkward. I also want to protect myself from getting used — how do I tell if his interest is real and not just sexual?
So my questions are:
• How can I find out if he likes me for real without sounding desperate or putting him on the spot?
• What’s a simple, low-pressure way to ask him to hang out so I can see how he acts in a one-on-one setting?
• How do I respond if he pushes for sex — what are polite but firm ways to set boundaries while still keeping things friendly?
I’m tired of overthinking and would love a few lines I can actually use, plus tips to read his signals better.

[Ethan Morales]

You don’t need to feel embarrassed — what you’re describing is normal. When you really like someone and they mix attention with sexual talk, it’s confusing and emotional. Here’s the honest breakdown:
How to tell if he actually likes you?
Watch what he does when sex isn’t part of the conversation. Does he make time to see you in normal, everyday ways, like texting just to talk, asking how you’re doing, or remembering things you tell him? Or does he mostly steer things toward flirting, physical jokes, or “doing it”?

If it’s mostly the second one, that’s not affection that’s interest in access, not connection. Guys who genuinely like you want to learn you, not just touch you.
You can test it quietly: pull back a bit from the flirty tone and talk about something personal — school plans, a hobby, a story. If he stays engaged, good sign. If he loses interest or gets bored, that tells you plenty.
How to ask him to hang out without pressure?
Keep it light and specific, not romantic or sexual. A few lines you can use: “Hey, I’m grabbing coffee this weekend, you wanna come? You’ve been fun to talk to; wanna hang out after class sometime?” We should catch a movie or chill somewhere that’s not a prom after-party.

You’re not declaring feelings, you’re inviting him to show you how he acts when it’s just the two of you. His behaviour there will say more than any confession.
How to respond if he pushes for sex?
You don’t owe anyone physical contact to keep them interested. You can be polite but firm and still friendly. Hey, I’m not ready for that kind of stuff. I like hanging out, but I’m keeping things PG for now. You’re fun, but if that’s what you’re after, I’m not the right person.

If he respects that, you’ll feel it, he’ll keep showing up and treating you normally. If he gets moody, tries to guilt you, or backs off, that’s your answer: he wanted sex, not you.
Ask yourself one thing: Do I feel safe and seen when I’m with him, or anxious and pressured?
If it’s the second, you already know what direction to move.
Bottom line – don’t rush to decode him; give him the space to reveal who he is through actions. A guy who genuinely likes you will slow down, listen, and make you feel respected. Anyone who won’t do that doesn’t deserve a spot in your thoughts.

[Lily Brown]

Hey, I totally get where you’re coming from. It’s hard to tell if someone likes you for you or just for the fun stuff. But you don’t have to rush into anything.

To find out if he really likes you, see how he acts when you’re not flirting. Does he make an effort to hang out without any pressure? That’ll tell you a lot.

To ask him out, just keep it simple: “Hey, want to grab coffee sometime? I’d like to hang out one-on-one.” Nothing fancy, just casual.

If he pushes for sex, it’s okay to say, “I’m not ready for that, and I want to make sure we’re on the same page.” Be firm but calm.

Trust yourself, take it slow, and don’t settle for less than what feels right.

[PassionSeeker]

I totally get how confusing this is. First, to see if he likes you for real, suggest something casual like grabbing coffee or hanging out just the two of you. You could say, “Hey, want to grab coffee sometime?” If he’s into it, he’ll appreciate the no pressure vibe.
If he pushes for sex, calmly set a boundary with something like, “I’m not ready for that, but I like spending time with you.” It’s respectful and clear.
Trust your gut if he respects your boundaries, that’s a good sign. If he pulls away, you’ve got your answer. You deserve someone who values you first.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

From what you’ve told me about this guy, he’s only interested in getting you into bed.

A man who actually wants a relationship with you is going to care about getting to know you. He’ll want a real connection. You wouldn’t be sitting here confused about his intentions because his interest in you as a person would be crystal clear, just as clear as this guy’s focus on sex is right now.

If you go ahead and ask him out or ask if he likes you, he’s going to see right through your desperation (and honey, you are), and guys can smell that a mile away.

If he’s a player, he’ll absolutely go along with it just long enough to get what he wants. Then you’ll either get ghosted or become his backup plan while he’s out chasing someone else.

If you’re looking for casual fun and you’re okay with that, fine, go ahead. But if you want som if you don’t ething meaningful with someone? This guy isn’t it.

Lastly, NO is always enough if you don’t want to have sex with someone, Being polite shouldn’t be your concern. You don’t owe him your body

[Member]

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