[Foolish0925]

Well, ive in a 8 yrs relationship with ended about 7months ago, my ex got into another relationship right away, in that relationship he started talking to me again wanting to be friends and says he still loves me and he doesnt feel the same for her as he feels fOr me, he felt guilty thats why he stayed with her, he ended uP cheating on her with me and broke it off with his gf a couple days ago. now i do not know what he wants from me and leaves me all confused he says “I love you but I need to stop because I’m not ready to love. I live with roommates I love to hangout with, I’m about to start bsn school and I still work. Do you think I would have time? You will say if I love you I would make time but be serious do you see where I would have time.” this is what he tells me, and now he says he wants to be friends, he knows how much i love him, but i feel he just wants me around just for his convience, i dont know what to think anymore and i dont know how to approach this situation, i dont know what i should tell him my life has been on hold because this whole thing is distracting me, i still want him in my life but he’s making it hard. what is he after? What does he want?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Why did you break up with him in the first place?

[Foolish0925]

He broke it off with me because our lives was going in a different direction, he said he did not have time for me or give me the time because of what was going on with his life with work, career and other stuff he wanted to do. But he still got intO another relationshiP, his reason for getting into that relationship was “supossedly” to get over me but then yet he has not and ended up cheating on his gf with me, and i talked to him last night he said he doesnt want to be in any relationship and he is not ready to love again, he said he loves me but he’s going to stop that love because he doesnt want to hurt me anymore, and tells me that he is going to start hooking up with people with no strings attach to satisfy his needs without any problems or hurting feelings. He also tells me he wants to stay friends because he rather be friends than not having me in his life, he also suggested if he did not hook up with other people if it would be ok if him and i would satisfy each others needs and told me to think about it. I do not know whats gone into him he’s not the same guy i use to know, what can i tell him or what can i do, i still love him even if he’s me through this.

[Foolish0925]

I just found out he lied about breaking up with his gf and it was just a lie, he doesnt know that i know, but why would he go through all that effort of telling me that non sense, why is he still lying???

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Thanks for the update.

Your ex-boyfriend broke up with you for very clear reasons. Those reasons haven’t changed. In fact, they’ve been reconfirmed.

What you’re not clear on is why he’s still in touch with you and cheated on another woman with you. Let me help you out: Men want to have sex. It’s a physical urge. And he has a history with you and he probably does have feelings for you that just don’t go away — especially if you’re still in touch as friends or hook ups or friends with benefits. He doesn’t want to let go of you completely because that way he can get what he wants — you when he wants you and when he doesn’t, he’s already told you there’s no relationship on the table. In other words, he’s taking care of his needs.

My advice is that you do not become friends with him, and that, in fact, you break off completely with him, so that you can move on and find love with someone else. 😉 As long as he’s in your life, you’re always going to be wondering about his feelings, your feelings, his behavior, your behavior, and your’e going to distract yourself from the cold hard truth: he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you — he just wants you on his terms, not yours.

Friendship with him won’t work. I never recommend that men and women be friends or stay friends post-breakup because there are inevitably confused feelings and one person always wants more.

I hope that helps!

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[Foolish0925]

Thank you soo much April 🙂 this will help me thanks again!

[Shoup2]

Sounds like he hasnt really grown up yet. I would leave him alone. You deserve someone who knows what they want and does not send you mixed messages. Take care

Jess

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Happy New Year! Let me know how things are going for you. 😉

[Member]

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