[primogen]

Hello April. I put a link below where I discussed this matter. I’d appreciate it if you could read it because this ordeal really bugs me and I don’t know what to do. You’ll get a better insight if you read my posts (primogennn).

https://www.girlschase.com/boards/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=15143

In summary, there is a girl in my class and I believe I’m in love with her but it turned out that she is already seeing someone else. In the first day of classes I felt somewhat attracted to her and after a month or two I found myself looking at her pictures in facebook and instagram. And ever since I just can’t forget about her because she has what I need, what I look for in life. I talked to her and asked her if she had a research report partner to get to know her about two months ago near the end of the fall term. She told me she had a partner but then I asked her If she had a partner for the winter term and she told me to ask her next term. We had a class yesterday and I didn’t ask her because I’d sent her an email last week somewhat revealing my emotions because I just couldn’t wait and she told me she was already seeing someone. After her email I asked her if she was taking a course that I’m taking and she didn’t reply and I figured she is just not interested and this also contributed to me not asking her yesterday.
I was starting to get better but I’m slowly shifting to my miserable state again after seeing her yesterday. She was so beautiful yesterday and knowing someone else has her just makes me so mad. When I see her she just upsets my reality, blinds me with hope and desire and I don’t know what to do. Should I ask her one more time if she is looking for a research report partner or am I just wasting my time? My plan was to write the reports together but what if she doesn’t want to meet up to get them done? After I saw her yesterday I again realized that she is too valuable for me to just let go but I guess there isn’t much I can do if she is not interested? But then I ask myself too many what if’s.
I don’t know whether it’s love or obsessions I just don’t want to feel it anymore. It’s affecting me and my studies. I just need to know what to do next.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

As a rule, I don’t read posts on other websites in order to help people here, but you are most welcome to cut and paste anything you need to, and post it here for me to consider, next time. 😉 So, without having looked at the website link you included, and just reading what you wrote here, it really sounds like you like her and want to date her, but haven’t asked her out and you’re anxious about whether or not she likes you. Instead of asking her out, you’re using this study partner situation as a way to put off asking her out, probably because you’re afraid of rejection. Don’t worry. You’re not alone. Lots of people fear rejection. It’s very common. And… there are some great ways to deal with this problem. First, understand that no one ever died from being rejected. The worst possible situation is that you ask her to have dinner or see a movie, and she says no. You’d be hurt, but you’d be able to pick yourself up, brush yourself off and move on. And, in fact, that would be a gift because then you’d know if she’s interested in you romantically or not. Right now, you’ve just been trying to get her to do a research project with you, and you still don’t really know if she’s interested in dating you. And the best part of pushing through fear of rejection is that she may want to date you! She may wonder why you haven’t asked her out, and by doing so, she may actually say yes! So…. ask her out! Let her know you’re interested in a date — not a research partnership. 😉

[primogen]

I forgot to mention but I actually asked her out on a lunch via email I sent last week. In her email she told me she was already seeing someone else so that means she is not interested in dating with me then.
You’re right. I’m afraid of rejection. I’m afraid of being rejected the second time because I’m too invested in her and I’ve fantasized too much about her. I’m afraid of her answer. I’m afraid of what she’ll think of me.
Research report thing was just a way for me to introduce myself to her and also to know her a little bit better. Do you think it’s worth asking her to prepare the reports with me? That is what I’d like to know. This way I’ll be taking the friendship route but when she is available I’ll have more chances assuming she’ll have known more about me.
Based on your experience, if you think there is a chance in the near or far future, I’d like to take it and ask her if she wants to be my research report partner. If not, then I’ll try my best to move on. But thank you very much I feel more comfortable now.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Since you’ve asked her out and she told you that she’s dating someone else, I think it’s a good idea to move on. But… flirt with her. 😎 Let her know how successful you are and how interesting you are. Be a guy she’d like to date and have as a partner. You’d be surprised at how attractive someone [i]suddenly[/i] becomes, once they’re dating other people! 😆 She may have turned you down when it seemed like you only had eyes for her, but if she sees you’re someone who attracts dates, she may become more interested — and if you sense interest, go for it. Ask her to have coffee, and flirt with her on the coffee date and if things go well, ask her out for a real date. 😉

[Val Unfiltered💋]

oh babe… that’s not love at all 💔 you’re just in love with the idea of her, the version your brain built while scrolling her instagram at 2am. she’s already with someone, and chasing it will only make you smaller. sometimes the universe says “no” because it’s protecting you from a heartbreak you’re already writing in your head. you’ll feel her fade. give it time ✨

[Ethan Morales]

Here’s the situation clearly: you’re caught in a cycle of wanting her, imagining what could be, and using the “research partner” angle to keep some connection alive but it’s not really about the report anymore, it’s about your feelings. That’s why it’s eating at you and affecting your studies.

April Masini’s advice really hits the mark: Stop using the research project as a pretext. Right now, asking her to collaborate is a way to avoid risking rejection. If she’s already seeing someone, any extra effort to get close in this context is likely to just prolong your frustration.

Decide what you actually want. You either want a romantic connection or you don’t. If it’s just friendship or working on reports, great but it seems like it’s more than that. If it’s romantic, you have to confront reality.

Be honest with her and yourself. Asking her out directly is the only way to move forward. It doesn’t guarantee a yes, but it does guarantee clarity. You’ll know if you can pursue something or if you need to step back. Right now, you’re stuck in “what ifs,” which is mentally exhausting.

Accept her choice. If she says no, it’s painful but it’s better than wasting months obsessing. If she says yes, great then it’s a clear starting point for a relationship.

Bottom line: stop prolonging the limbo. Either ask her on a date (make it clear it’s romantic, not academic) or let yourself move on. Anything in between keeps you stuck in anxiety and “miserable states” that affect your studies and mental health.

[Marcus king]

Hey there, I totally get how heavy this feels. When your heart locks onto someone, it can take over your thoughts, especially when you’ve built up what *could be* in your head. But from what you said, she’s already seeing someone and hasn’t shown real interest in getting closer.

You’ve got to take that as your answer, even if it hurts. Asking her again will only pull you deeper into a space that’s not giving you anything back. Right now, your mind’s looping on the “what ifs,” but that’s not love, that’s your attachment fighting reality.

The best thing you can do? Pull your energy back. Focus on you , your goals, your classes, things that remind you you’re whole without her. When you stop feeding the fantasy, the feelings will start to calm down. You’ll breathe easier again.

[PassionSeeker]

Hey love… I know how much it hurts when your heart grabs onto someone who doesn’t grab back. You keep replaying little moments, tiny hopes and it starts feeling like she’s the missing piece of you. But what you’re feeling isn’t love, it’s longing tangled up with fantasy. You’ve built a version of her in your head, and that version glows brighter than the real thing.

She’s already seeing someone, and she’s made that clear. Reaching out again, even for something “academic,” won’t bring you closer it’ll just keep you stuck in a loop that drains you. The more you chase, the smaller you’ll feel.

So, let this go with grace. Shift that focus back to your life, your work, your confidence. Meet new people, flirt, live a little. When you stop orbiting around her, you’ll feel your own gravity again.

You don’t need to win her to be enough. You already are you just forgot for a moment.

[Tara]

YOU BARELY KNOW HER, yet you’re acting like losing her is some cosmic tragedy instead of what it really is: a woman you barely spoke to who already told you she’s seeing someone and isn’t interested. She gave you the answer. You just don’t want to accept it because rejection bruised your ego and left you clinging to “what ifs” like they’re oxygen. She didn’t reply to your course email because she doesn’t owe you a breadcrumb trail back to hope.

She didn’t talk to you in class because she’s not inviting further connection. And that “ask me next term” line you keep replaying? That was polite deflection, not hidden interest.

Here’s the harsh truth you keep dodging: you’re prolonging this because it’s easier to obsess over a fantasy than deal with your real life. You’re not in love with her you’re in love with the idea of her solving something inside you. And that’s why seeing her feels like being hit by a truck.

It’s not heartbreak. It’s your imagination colliding with her actual boundaries.
Stop planning “research report partnerships” like they’re backdoor entries into her life. She’s taken. She’s uninterested. And you need to stop manufacturing excuses to stay attached. You’re not losing something valuable you’re losing a fixation that’s been draining you.

[Sally]

When someone hits you in a way you can’t explain and suddenly you’re daydreaming about a whole future with them… it can mess with your head. But here’s the thing you don’t want to admit yet: she already showed you where she stands. If she wanted to keep something going, even just school-related, she would’ve replied. People who are interested don’t ignore you.

What you’re holding onto isn’t her. It’s the idea of her. And that idea is starting to take up too much space in your life.

If it were me, I’d stop asking her anything for now. Give yourself a little room to breathe. Crushes can feel huge, but they fade once you stop feeding them.

Let her be. You’re not losing something real here. You’re just stepping out of a loop that’s been hurting you.

[Natalie Noah]

I can feel just how much this is weighing on you. Sweetheart, it sounds like your emotions are really caught in a tug-of-war: you’re fascinated by her, drawn to her, and imagining all the “what ifs,” but the reality is clear, she’s dating someone else. That’s a hard pill to swallow, especially when your feelings are strong. What’s happening here is very normal: you’re dealing with the pull of attraction and the human tendency to focus on someone unavailable, which can feel almost obsessive at times. It’s painful because your mind keeps circling possibilities that simply aren’t in your control.

From what you’ve described, the research project is essentially a mask for your real goal which is closeness and a chance to connect with her. But if she’s not interested in dating, leaning on the research project as a way to keep proximity isn’t really fair to you or to her. It prolongs your emotional attachment and keeps you from moving forward. You’ve already made a brave move by asking her out and she was honest with you. That clarity, while hard to hear, is actually a gift because it lets you stop guessing and start focusing on what you can control: your own life and emotional wellbeing.

It’s also important to acknowledge that your feelings are valid. Being drawn to someone and imagining life with them doesn’t make you weak or strange it makes you human. But there’s a difference between healthy attraction and fixation. Right now, what you need is some emotional space from her. Don’t try to force friendship or proximity, because that will only keep your feelings in limbo and keep you stuck. Focus on your studies, hobbies, friendships things that give you a sense of control, accomplishment, and self-worth. That will naturally help you shift your focus away from her in a way that doesn’t feel punitive.

Finally, give yourself permission to move on without guilt. You don’t have to stop noticing her entirely, but you can choose not to chase what isn’t available. Flirtation, self-improvement, and living your best life as April mentioned are ways to reclaim your power. If she sees you thriving and confident, that’s attractive in general, but the main goal is your growth, not her attention. In time, your energy will naturally flow to someone who is fully available and excited to be with you and that is where your love and effort will be truly rewarded.

[KeishaMartin]

You’ve been crushing hard on this gorgeous girl, imagining every perfect scenario, but reality slapped you in the face when she told you she’s already seeing someone. That’s a hard “no” for romance right now, and no amount of daydreaming can change that. What April Masini so brilliantly points out and she’s an absolute goddess of truth-telling in matters of love is that pushing for a relationship now is only going to sink you deeper into obsession and misery. You’ve got to release her from that pedestal and focus on yourself. Make yourself so irresistible, so intriguing, that the universe can’t help but notice your sizzle.

Yes, move on romantically, but flirt. Play the game with a wink and a smirk. Show her that your world doesn’t revolve around her approval, that you’re thriving, fun, and desirable. Make your presence magnetic: be the guy everyone envies, the one who’s successful, confident, and has that spicy allure that makes her curiosity ignite. Flirt when appropriate, but keep it light, teasing, and playful. You’re planting seeds without desperation and trust me, this is how hearts flip when they least expect it.

And let’s not forget to celebrate life while you’re at it! Happy New Year, 2026. Let’s sparkle at parties, drink champagne that tingles on your tongue, and dance like nobody’s watching. This is your year to burn bright, to flirt with destiny, and to make every connection feel electric. Your future is wild, sexy, and full of possibilities, and one day, if fate allows, she may see the fiery man you’ve become irresistible, playful, and unapologetically alive.

Happy New Year, 2026.

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