[Chiarah]

Hi April, first off thank you so much for taking the time to answer everybody’s questions! you rock 🙂

So I met this guy in college some 10 odd years ago and we hardly ever spoke back then. We recently regained contact and he asked me out for coffee. I said yes. We found out we have a few things in common and we texted each other every day. I’d time my time to reply though, would not reply for a day or two at times, while he’d get back to me in 5 minutes. I always give them their space and I’m not pushy. There was some flirting going on but very subtle. We then arranged a day to meet but on that morning he texted saying he was out of town. I was sort of mad but played it cool. Texted him back a few hours later saying something like “Alright, maybe some other time then” and added something funny.

We kept exchanging messages and a few weeks later we arranged to meet again on a specific day during the week. I texted him on the day early in the afternoon asking what the plan was and I didn’t hear back from him until late at night. He said he had only seen the text then and he was so tired from work that he got home and overslept. He apologised but I didn’t feel he was being very apologetic, if that makes sence. I replied the day after and said “It happens. Have a nice week.” To me that was about it. He bailed twice, I’m not making new plans or texting or whatever. I left it at that. He didn’t contact me and I didn’t contact him. That was it for about 2 weeks.

A week ago he messaged me on FB, I didn’t reply. Yesterday he messaged me again on FB. An hour later he texted me saying he misses me and he doesn’t mind if I think it’s ridiculous because that is the truth. I haven’t seen in 10 years, how can he miss me? I know he’s testing me. I just don’t know what to reply now. I don’t want to throw the towel because I would really like to see if there is chemistry between us, but I’m totally unsure of what to tell him. What should I reply, any advice? Thank you April!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

He’s known you for ten years and asked you out for coffee once. 😯 I think he just wants more of the same, again, having you “there” without making any commitment. 😳 If you want a boyfriend, you need to find one who isn’t just a text buddy. You’ll want someone who’s more committed to you. 😉

I know you don’t want to throw in the towel because you want to see if there’s chemistry between you, but if he doesn’t take you out on a date, what is it, exactly, that you’re waiting for?

I don’t think his communication on Facebook calls for a reply. He misses you. Okay….. 🙄

Focus your energy on what it is you really want, which I think is a committed and healthy relationship. He’s not that guy. At least not now.

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[Chiarah]

Well, we were in the same class in college. We had absolutely no contact up until maybe a year ago when he added me on Facebook and we never really spoke until 2 or 3 months ago, when we found out we shared similar interests through our posts. that’s when he asked me out for coffee 🙂

It does make sense everything you said. It was just coffee anyway, not a proper date, so I don’t get what the big deal is. I am interested but if he doesn’t follow through, then it’s all a big waste of time and energy. If he misses me, he should act on it that, right?

Thanks for your input April, it’s greatly appreciated 🙂 x

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re very welcome! 😀

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