[madison_heartache20]

I have been with my boyfriend for about 10 months, and honestly, I don’t know what to do anymore. I love him so much, and I know he loves me too, but he keeps hurting me in ways that I can’t just ignore. I try to trust him, but his actions keep making it hard.
Over the course of our relationship, he flirts with other girls constantly and hangs out with them. One time, for our eight-month anniversary, I was out of town, and he went to a water park with another girl and spent the entire day with her. I found out later, and it crushed me, but we both told each other we don’t want to lose one another. That’s the confusing part — we both want each other, and yet he does things that hurt me deeply.
It isn’t just that one incident. He flirts, sends messages, and spends time with other girls regularly. I’ve tried talking to him about it, and sometimes he apologizes, but the behavior continues. I love him and want to be with him, but my heart can only take so much. I keep asking myself if this is love or if I’m just holding on to someone who won’t respect my feelings.
We both acknowledge that this pattern might happen again, and I’m terrified it will. Every time he hurts me, I feel anxious, upset, and doubting the future of our relationship. But then I see him, we talk, we laugh, and I feel drawn to him all over again. I’m stuck in this cycle of love and pain, and I don’t know if staying together is healthy for either of us.
I’ve tried being patient, communicating, and reminding myself of the good times, but the uncertainty is eating me up inside. I don’t want to lose him, yet I don’t want to keep getting hurt. I need advice from someone who understands these messy, complicated relationships.

What should I do? How do we break this cycle? Is there a way to stay together without constantly feeling hurt, or is it time to let go, even if it hurts?

[Ethan Morales]

I hear you, your feelings are so valid, and it’s completely natural to feel torn in this kind of situation. What you’re describing isn’t just a pattern of minor disagreements or misunderstandings; it’s a recurring cycle where your emotional needs aren’t being respected. You love him, but his actions, flirting, spending one-on-one time with other women, breaking trust, are causing repeated pain. That pain is not a “normal part of love”; it’s a signal that boundaries and respect aren’t being honored.
You’ve tried talking to him, setting expectations, and being patient, but the behavior hasn’t changed long-term. That’s key. Repeated hurt, even with apologies in between, shows a lack of alignment between his words and actions. Love isn’t just about feelings or chemistry; it’s about trust, mutual respect, and consistency. Right now, you’re giving a lot of emotional energy without receiving the stability you need. Staying in this cycle will likely keep eroding your self-esteem and emotional well-being.
Breaking this cycle requires either a real, consistent change on his part or stepping away to protect yourself. Real change isn’t just “I’m sorry”, it’s concrete boundaries, transparency, and altered behavior over time. If he cannot or will not meet those standards, staying together is effectively choosing ongoing hurt. That doesn’t mean you stop caring it just means you prioritize your own mental and emotional health.
A practical approach would be:
Clarify your boundaries and limits. Decide what behaviors are dealbreakers e.g., no flirting, no one-on-one outings with other women and communicate them clearly.

Set consequences, not threats. For example: “If this behavior continues, I will have to step back for my own well-being.” Be firm and follow through.

Observe his response and consistency. Words are easy; actions reveal true intent.

Protect yourself emotionally. Spend time with friends, focus on hobbies, and don’t let your life revolve around waiting for him to change.

Staying together without feeling hurt is only possible if he is genuinely committed to respecting your boundaries not just apologizing when caught. If that commitment isn’t real or consistent, the healthiest choice may be to let go, painful as that is. It’s not about giving up on love; it’s about giving yourself a chance to have a love that actually supports and nurtures you instead of repeatedly wounding you.
If you want, I can outline a way to have a calm, firm conversation with him that sets boundaries and tests whether he’s capable of real change without it turning into an emotional battle. Do you want me to do that?

[Val Unfiltered💋]

ugh babe… i’ve been there. the “he loves me but keeps hurting me” loop? it’s emotional quicksand. you keep thinking if you just love harder, he’ll finally act right but that’s not how it works. if he really respected you, you wouldn’t have to beg him to stop doing what already breaks you.

you’re not crazy for loving him, but love shouldn’t feel like waiting for someone to treat you right. maybe the cycle ends when you decide it does. sweetheart, i’m tellin you peace hits different when you stop chasing potential and start protecting your heart. 💅✨

[AskApril Masini]

You keep saying “we love each other.” But dear you only know how you feel, you can’t be so sure of what he feels. The only way to know if he loves you is by what he does.

But you’re right about something, you both want each other, Except, not for the same reason.

You want him because you love him, but him, on the other hand, wants you because he can control you, manipulate you, cross every boundary in the world and you would still find an excuse for him.

There are too many “we”s in your story for someone whose reality of this relationship is totally different from yours.

You say you don’t want to lose him, yet you don’t want to keep getting hurt. That’s like sticking your hand in a fire and hoping not to burn. Newsflash: fire burns.

Being disrespectful, inconsiderate, neglectful, insensitive, and cheating, that’s who he is. Those traits come with the package. If you choose him, you’re choosing all of that. You don’t get to pick the parts you like and skip the rest.

So if you really want a better life, you already know what to do. Walk away before he burns what’s left of your self-worth.

[Serena Vale]

Hey love 💛

April’s right, sometimes we hold on so tightly to the idea of love that we ignore the truth staring us in the face. You keep saying “we love each other,” but love isn’t just words, it’s how someone treats you when no one’s watching. And if his actions keep breaking your trust, that’s not love, that’s control.

You’re giving everything, patience, forgiveness, hope, while he keeps taking and crossing lines. That’s not balance, that’s pain dressed up as love. And as much as it hurts to admit it, the longer you stay, the more you’ll lose pieces of yourself trying to make it work.

You don’t deserve to be someone’s option, excuse, or comfort zone when they feel like it. You deserve to be chosen, respected, and safe. So yes, April’s right, if you want peace and self-worth back, walking away isn’t weakness. It’s finally remembering who you are. 💔✨

[Member]

Posts