I have been with my boyfriend for about 10 months, and honestly, I don’t know what to do anymore. I love him so much, and I know he loves me too, but he keeps hurting me in ways that I can’t just ignore. I try to trust him, but his actions keep making it hard.
Over the course of our relationship, he flirts with other girls constantly and hangs out with them. One time, for our eight-month anniversary, I was out of town, and he went to a water park with another girl and spent the entire day with her. I found out later, and it crushed me, but we both told each other we don’t want to lose one another. That’s the confusing part — we both want each other, and yet he does things that hurt me deeply.
It isn’t just that one incident. He flirts, sends messages, and spends time with other girls regularly. I’ve tried talking to him about it, and sometimes he apologizes, but the behavior continues. I love him and want to be with him, but my heart can only take so much. I keep asking myself if this is love or if I’m just holding on to someone who won’t respect my feelings.
We both acknowledge that this pattern might happen again, and I’m terrified it will. Every time he hurts me, I feel anxious, upset, and doubting the future of our relationship. But then I see him, we talk, we laugh, and I feel drawn to him all over again. I’m stuck in this cycle of love and pain, and I don’t know if staying together is healthy for either of us.
I’ve tried being patient, communicating, and reminding myself of the good times, but the uncertainty is eating me up inside. I don’t want to lose him, yet I don’t want to keep getting hurt. I need advice from someone who understands these messy, complicated relationships.
What should I do? How do we break this cycle? Is there a way to stay together without constantly feeling hurt, or is it time to let go, even if it hurts?
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